Her Favorite Duke (The 1797 Club #2)(61)

“It’s not a game,” he whispered.

She shook her head slowly. “Why are you here, Simon? Why follow me when you’ve made your intentions so very clear over the past month?”

He wanted so much to bend his head, to pull away from her anger. But he wouldn’t. Not ever again. With much difficulty, he moved toward her another step and reached for her hand. As he took it, she trembled, but she didn’t back away.

“I came here because I know I have made a mess of everything, Meg. You said I didn’t fight. Actually, so did Graham…so did James. And you are all correct. My nature is to do something else entirely. But when you left London, when it was clear you were surrendering in the battle for our future, I realized that losing you would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. I know I’m late, I know I’m maybe too late. But I’ve come here to fight, Meg. Fight for you.”

Her lips parted, and he could see how much those words meant to her. But she didn’t fall into his arms. She didn’t launch into a soliloquy of her love for him. Instead she gently removed her hand from his.

“I don’t know, Simon. I just don’t know,” she whispered.

He nodded. “And that’s fine. I know for both of us. I don’t ask you to forgive me right away. I don’t ask you to make me promises. But I’m asking you to let me try. Will you do that?”

She shifted her weight, but her gaze never left his. She was struggling with what he requested, afraid she would be hurt again. In that moment, she was so entirely beautiful that he couldn’t resist. He stepped in, closing the space between them.

He tucked a finger beneath her chin and tilted her mouth toward his. He brushed his lips against hers, reveling in the kiss he had been longing for since the day she walked out of the parlor. She opened to him with a little sigh and he gently took what she offered, working hard not to get swept away by passion because he needed to be levelheaded for his plans.

At last, he drew back, seeing her confusion and her need and her pain still merged together in her tortured expression.

“Please, Meg, let me try to be the man I should have been from the beginning.”

She let out a long sigh and then she nodded. “Very well.”

“Excellent!” he said, backing away from her with great difficulty and clapping his hands together. “Then remove that picnic bag from Star’s saddle and I’ll bind her to a post for the servants to collect her.”

Meg stared at him. “How do you know there’s a picnic bundle and that—” She cut herself off with a shake of her head. “Oh, I see. You’ve arranged everything.”

“I’ve tried.” He motioned her toward the horse. “Go on then.”

She actually smiled as she did as she was told. When she removed the saddlebag, she grunted. “Good Lord, there’s enough in here for days.”

“I hope so,” he said, guiding the horse to a post near the cottage and securing her there. “That was what I asked for.”

She met his eyes briefly. “How long am I to stay out here with you?”

“As long as you agree to,” he said with a shrug. “As long as you don’t run out of clothing, which will be delivered when they come to take the horse.”

“How many servants are in on your scheme?” she asked, shaking her head.

He grinned. “Not many. Grimble, obviously, and Fran. Plus whomever they involved. But this isn’t about anyone else but us.”

She turned her face away and he frowned. She wasn’t ready to believe him yet. And that was fine. He was ready to fight now. He was actually looking forward to it. It was the first thing that had felt right in his life for years.

He slung the saddlebag over his shoulder and reached for her hand. She focused on his outstretched fingers for a moment, and he could see her mind turning. But at last she took them. He squeezed gently and then guided her out onto the path and away from the cottage into the same woods they had roamed the afternoon both their lives had changed.

But that day wasn’t the only thing he wanted Meg to remember. They had shared many a day in these woods. Many a memory that he hoped would guide her back to him.

She was silent for a while as they walked, then she let out a breath like she’d been holding it for a while. “What do you want me to do?”

He stopped in the path and turned toward her. “Nothing. You’ve been doing everything for a long time. Let me do something now. Just…be open. That’s all I have to ask.”

Her lower lip trembled. “Why now?”

“I would tell you that it’s because I love you. That it’s because I’ve loved you for a decade. That it’s because the thought of losing you actually cuts away a piece of my heart.”

Tears swelled in her eyes, and he wanted so desperately to wipe them away or make some kind of joke to diminish their power, but he didn’t. It was time to show them. Time to show her everything that was in his heart, uncomfortable or not. Withholding himself from her had nearly made him lose her. Now he had to give her everything.

“But I’m not going to tell you that,” he continued. “Because right now my words are meaningless without something more behind them. So I’m going to show you how I feel, Meg. And I only hope that it’s going to be enough.”