Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(76)
We walked to Millie’s office, and she closed the door behind me—instantly killing my spirits and diminishing my confidence to nothing. I felt like a grade-schooler who had been sent to the principal’s office. Out of instinct, I sat in the large leather chair facing her desk and waited for her to administer my punishment. But instead of sitting across from me, Millie sat at the corner of her desk, leaning with one leg propped atop, an amazingly casual pose for her. She pulled her glasses from her face and folded them, sitting them next to her. She looked down quietly for a few seconds, almost like she was searching for the words to her speech. Oh God, was I going to get a lecture?
“Nolan, my son loves you. And I don’t think you’re good enough,” she slapped me with this right out of the gate. No easing in. My emotions betrayed me as my eyes watered at her words, but I held my breath and willed the tears not to slide any further.
Millie sighed heavily, and I looked to see her looking down once again, pinching the bridge of her nose. “That came out cruel. I don’t mean to be that way,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s just that Reed has always been my baby boy. He was all I had…for so long. And I had these plans for him. Who he’d marry, where they’d live? But that boy, he is stubborn. Well…you know this.” She laughed a little, closing her eyes while she thought of Reed.
“Like I said, my son loves you,” she said, reaching behind her to grab a large folder from her desk. “Reed came to see me a few weeks ago. He told me about your academic troubles.”
I gulped. I actually gulped at her words, looking at my knees in shame and wishing once again for the damn super power.
“You see, my son wanted me to give you a scholarship,” she chuckled a little to herself, more amusement at my expense. “I explained that we have rules, and the scholarships, Nolan? They just don’t work that way.”
Oh God, she was pitying me now! I wanted to curl up like a bug, and disintegrate into her carpet.
“But my son? Well, like I said. He loves you. And let’s just say he gave me some things to think about,” she said, touching my hand a little. I could feel her hand trembling, and was lost between wanting to shirk it from my skin and wanting to grab hold of it tightly. I was powerless, and I couldn’t get myself to look her in the eyes.
“Nolan, I don’t know you well. And I’m sorry. I know that is mostly my fault. But from what I do know, you aren’t someone who is used to favors. You like to earn your way. And I can respect that,” Millie spoke more comfortably, her formalities breaking down just the slightest bit, and my heart leaping at the word respect. “I sent your files to a friend of mine. Dean Howard is in charge of the Education College at ASU, and it seems she’s quite familiar with you. She submitted your profile for the Summit Fellowship. Are you familiar with the program?”
I shook my head slowly. I’d heard of it, but really had no clue what it was.
“Hmmmm, well…basically your senior year is turned into an intensive study program under her direct supervision. You have to complete a major paper to be published in an academic journal and turn in several hours of hands-on experience. And in exchange for your tutoring in her class, your tuition is completely covered,” her words were starting to echo as my head was racing through this possibility. I had spent the semester digging my own grave, and there was this chance now that I would actually be able to claw my way out.
Millie held the folder out for me to take, and when I did, I clung it to my chest, afraid to look inside.
“Nolan, I removed myself from the selection committee. It wasn’t appropriate. I hope you understand,” she said as she left the office and left me to sit there alone, curious about the direction my life would turn the second I flipped open the damn folder in my hand.
I set it flat in my lap, and with shaky fingers I turned the cover over to see the personal letter from Dean Howard, welcoming me to join her fellowship next fall. I gasped for air, my heart beating quickly, and my eyes stinging with relief. I read every word of the letter and every paper that followed, spending at least 20 minutes alone in Millie’s office. The more I read through my files, and the details of the program, the more I realized what Millie had meant. She had removed herself from the committee. I’d earned this honor all on my own. While I might not be good enough for her son, I had Millie Johnson-Snyder’s respect. And with that in my hip pocket, I felt renewed optimism that someday I might just be able to win her favor completely.
Chapter 15
Reed
“Dude, get your head in the game,” Trig laughed, slapping the back of my head with a towel after our morning workout the day of the bowl game. We did some light running, and I threw a few passes just to get a feel for the ball and the cooler air. Playing in California was amazing. Of all the BCS bowls, the Rose bowl was the bomb.
“My head’s in the game. Don’t you worry about me. You just make sure you catch the pretty little passes I’ll be throwin’ your ass, okay?” I gave it right back to him. He started laughing as he lay down on the bench across from me, stretching his arms out and taking up the entire bench. Trig was six-foot-four, and when he jumped, he seemed like he was 10-foot-plus, which made even my crappiest throws look pretty spectacular.
“Don’t let coach hear you calling your passes little. He won’t like that too much,” Trig joked. “You know they’re going to be gunnin’ for your ass.”