Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(27)

I wasn’t sure how many beers I had drunk, but I was working on a nice buzz when the main band started playing and the floor became crowded with moving and gyrating bodies. The band was amazing, somewhere between hard rock and alternative pop. They played a few cover songs that I loved and a few songs of their own that surprised me.

I was in my own world, dancing with my arms over my head and my hips swaying, when a strange guy reached around my stomach and pulled me into him. I turned to face him and put my hands up against his chest to push him away, get some distance. But he quickly pulled me close again. I was starting to panic a little when I saw Gavin’s tattooed arm reach in between us, and heard him say, “Sorry, man. She’s taken.”

I smiled with relief as I turned to dance with Gavin now. “You okay there?” he asked, his hand on my shoulder. I just nodded and raised my eyebrows a bit. “Sorry, some guys are *s,” he said a little loudly so that my groper would hear.

“Thanks,” I relaxed a little. Gavin still had his hand on my shoulder, and we were both swaying back and forth some. I was aware of his touch, but decided to pocket it as innocent, and kept enjoying myself. We danced like that for another two or three songs, until the band decided to slow things down. I was about to head to the seats when Gavin grabbed my hand to stop me.

“One dance?” he asked, giving me puppy-dog eyes. “I did wear lipstick for you.”

I laughed a little and gave in. “Okay, one dance. You were a good sport,” I said.

Gavin held my wrists and moved my hands behind his head to lay them along his neck. He slid his hands slowly down the undersides of my arms, and then they came to rest along my hips, pulling me close. The song was slow and erotic, and the couples left on the floor were all very into it. Not sure where to look, I laid my cheek flat on Gavin’s chest. My heart was kicking up some as my brain swirled from the buzz of the alcohol and the dangerously inviting smell of Gavin’s cologne. I felt his chin at the top of my head and tilted my face up to look at him. He was biting his bottom lip and looking at me with unmistakably hungry eyes. I felt his hands slowly work their way along my rib cage and slide barely under the edge of my bra as he moved them to my back again and then low along my hips once more, his fingers flexing and digging into my skin with a touch that was full of want.

This was definitely one of life’s defining moments. So I ran.

I pushed back from him and told him I had to go outside to get some air. I walked quickly to the table, grabbed my purse and headed out the back doors to the alleyway where I knew I could get a moment alone. But I hadn’t counted on Gavin following me.

“Nolan, I’m sorry. I got a little carried away,” he was right on my heels.

“No, don’t. It’s okay, we both were drinking, and it was just a weird night,” I said, turning to face him and stopping so my back was against the opposite wall.

Gavin stood across from me with his hands in his pockets, almost like he was locking them up to keep him from doing something stupid. I couldn’t seem to find any words to help the situation, so instead I just stood there staring at him, blinking. My heart was racing, and my palms were sweaty. And I was pretty sure I was going to be sick later from the alcohol. I shut my eyes for a few brief seconds, trying to reset my thoughts and get myself back to normal. I pushed my hands through my hair and opened my eyes again to see Gavin staring into me.

“Oh, hell,” Gavin said, lunging for me and grabbing my face between his hands, kissing me hard and stepping into my body so we were pressed against one another. Instead of stopping him, I kissed back. I grabbed his wrists at first, a false protest, almost so I could tell myself I’d tried to stop. But I didn’t. Not really. I reached behind his head and pulled him closer, fisting his hair and clawing my fingers up under his shirt. We kissed like this for several seconds before reality hit me, and I pushed into his chest. Hard.

“Gavin, I can’t,” I said, panting as I stumbled a few steps away from him. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

I started crying, the tears fast. I was walking away backward. He stood there, just as shocked as I was. I wiped my mouth along my arm, trying to erase what had just happened. “I’m so sorry. That was wrong. I can’t…Oh my god.”

I just turned and ran. I had made it only a few blocks away from the scene of my horrible slip when I felt my stomach churn and I bent forward to vomit in the gutter. People were walking around me, avoiding me, somehow completely unfazed by my throwing up, which I did four more times before I made it back to my dorm.

I had pulled my shoes from my feet and was walking along the sidewalk barefoot. The front desk girl gave me a disapproving look as I buzzed into the door and walked by her. I must have smelled like a hooker. I felt like one. I caught my reflection in the elevator on the ride up, my make-up smeared and my hair tangled in all directions.

I headed straight for the bathroom when I got into my room, stripping my clothes into a pile and crawling on my hands and knees to the shower floor, where I hugged my legs in close to me and wept. I rocked back and forth, willing my nausea to subside. The hot water turned my skin bright pink, and my hands were turning into raisins by the time I shut the water off and pulled the towel from the bar to join me on the floor.



By the time I awoke, the sun was shining through the bottoms of my curtains. I had slept the entire night, naked on the dirty tiles of my bathroom floor. My world was spinning as I straightened myself, sitting on my knees, not quite ready to fully stand. I grabbed the bathroom door for support and got to my feet and made my way to my bed where I had thrown my purse last night.