Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2)(45)

“Yes, you can have pop. If you’re good.”

We arrive at the table and introductions are made. I direct Gavin in first so he can sit by the window and then slide in next to him.

“Hi, Gavin, my name is Lisa. I love your shirt,” the interviewer from The Best of Baking says with a smile.

Gavin looks down at the shirt Drew had bought him a few weeks ago. It's black and in white writing reads, “Parental Advisory: Lock up your daughters.”

He just shrugs in response, and I resist the urge to shoot him the evil eye and remind him to be good.

“This is just going to be an informal type of interview,” Lisa explains. “I just want to ask some questions and chit chat. Just pretend like I’m one of your girlfriends.”

She has a huge smile on her face like I totally understand what she's talking about. She obviously has never met my girlfriends. We don’t sit around in dresses, sipping daintily from glasses of champagne while we politely discuss politics. We chug beers, do shots, and call each other thunder cunts.

I slide the white box across the table towards her, figuring I might as well start right off the bat with the bribery.

Lisa’s eyes light up when she sees the white box with our signature pink ribbon around it.

“Oh my goddness, you brought me chocolate!” she exclaims.

“It’s something new I’m trying out. I crumble up crispy bacon and mix it with white chocolate. The clusters are drizzled with caramel and butterscotch. They’re called Bacolate Bunches,” I tell her.

She tears into the box and takes a bite out of one of the clusters. She moans and groans and sighs for so long it gets a little uncomfortable. I'm now privy to what Lisa sounds like when she has sex. Awkward. But at least she likes my spur of the moment candy invention.

“So, Gavin, how are you doing today?” Lisa asks after she finishes the chocolate and finally gets down to business.

“I wanna play, this is boring,” he complains while staring longingly at the other children who are running and screaming around the play area.

“Gavin, be nice,” I warn under my breath with clenched teeth and a smile on my face for Lisa.

“Oh, it’s fine!” she tells me cheerfully. “I’d like to play on those toys too,” she says to Gavin.

“You’re too old to go on the slide. Your butt would get stuck ‘cuz you’re old.”

With the evil eye in full force, I glare at Gavin. “If you don’t watch your mouth, you’re going home to take a nap,” I say quietly.

“Naps can suck it,” Gavin whispers as he smacks his elbows on the table and puts his chin in his hands angrily.

Obviously, he’s already forgotten the Happy Meal and pop he was promised. God, if you’re listening, just help me not kill him. At least until we’re home.

“So, Claire, how’s business been going at the shop?”

I stop glaring at Gavin and hope that by some super mom power he will still be able to feel my wrath floating around him and keep his mouth shut.

“Business has been going very well. I still have to pinch myself every morning when I walk into that place. I am absolutely amazed that people actually want to buy things I make,” I tell her with a laugh.

I can’t believe someone is interviewing me for a magazine. I’m nobody. How is this happening?

“Are you finding it hard to juggle owning a business and spending time with your family?” Lisa asks as she typed away on her laptop.

“That’s the beauty of owning a business. Basically, I can do whatever I want.”

Lisa laughs and continued typing.

This sort of IS like talking to one of my girlfriends. Liz never pays attention to anything I say and is always busy doing other shit when I’m pouring my heart out to her.

“Can you elaborate on that just a little bit?” she asks.

“Well, if I want Gavin to spend the day with me, he can. I don’t need to find a sitter or send him to daycare when he isn’t in preschool. And if I need to close up early to take him to a doctor’s appointment or to go to a function at his school, I can easily do it without having to get permission from someone else or have my pay docked for missing time,” I explain.

“My doctor gives me cookies and stickers. His mean nurse is a wiener face and gives me shots,” Gavin adds.

Lisa chuckles, her eyes never leaving her screen as she types furiously.

Oh my God, please tell me she didn’t just type the words “wiener face” in my interview.

“In just three short months of being open, Seduction and Snacks is already turning a profit. That’s almost unheard of for a new, small business. What do you think is the key to this success?”

Do I look like Donald Trump?

I don’t know anything about anything. I cover things in chocolate and bake cookies. The key to success is pretending like it’s not really happening so that you don’t freak the f*ck out thinking about it.

I answer her question as best I can without looking like a clueless moron. I tell her it's all about luck and how I honestly have no idea how this happened to me.

Lisa finally takes a break from her typing to look up at me.

“It doesn’t hurt to have such a famous son either, right?! Everyone I spoke with about Seduction and Snacks told me I absolutely HAD to meet the owner’s son.”