From The Ashes (The Ministry of Curiosities #6)(45)
He grunted. "If any of my employees blabbed like Fawkner did, I'd dismiss them."
"Good to know."
"You're not an employee."
"It's a pity Bell wouldn't talk," I said before I found myself sinking into his warm gaze, unable to get out.
He ripped off his mustache and stuffed it into his pocket. "Perhaps next time you should do all the talking. You're better at it. You and Seth."
"Don't be disheartened. You were very good. I don't think the soft, subtle approach would ever work on Bell, no matter who spoke with him. Fortunately we had Fawkner. The question now is, was he implying that their research was the same as the serum Captain Jasper had been working on?"
"It's impossible to know without seeing the experiments and results."
"How would you know what you were looking at? Oh, wait, don't tell me. Your scientific knowledge is as thorough as every other aspect of your education. Of course you can read blood test results."
His eyes narrowed. "My education wasn't thorough in all aspects. Science and medicine were particular interests of mine. If I hadn't been destined to be the ministry leader I would have liked to become a doctor."
"Is that so?"
"What about you? What would you have become if things had been different?"
"You mean if I hadn't been a necromancer, abandoned at thirteen, and oh, a woman, what vocation would I have chosen?"
"Yes."
I thought about it a moment. "Medicine certainly seems like a noble profession, but I did enjoy myself today, asking Dr. Fawkner those questions. So perhaps a journalist."
"Or a detective inspector?"
I shrugged. "Is being the ministry's leader such a terrible thing?"
"Not always. Not in the last few months."
I felt my face heat and looked away. I wished he wouldn't be so…nice. "Being a necromancer isn't all that awful, either. Now that I'm used to it, I like speaking to the dead, on the whole. I've met some interesting characters. It would be even better if I didn't have to hide what I am, or if someone wasn't trying to kill me."
He suddenly leaned forward and captured my hand in his. With gloves on, it should have lacked intimacy, but it did not. It felt very real and earnest. A lump clogged my throat. "It will be over soon. I promise you, Charlie. We'll capture the killer and you'll be free to do as you please."
I smiled weakly and nodded. It was all I could manage. Then I pulled my hand away.
His hands hovered in mid-air for a moment before he settled back in the seat. "I'll return tonight and see what paperwork I can find linking Bell to a serum to reanimate bodies."
"You're going to break in?"
He nodded.
"But you can't! Dr. Fawkner said Dr. Bell sleeps in the laboratory."
"I can handle Bell."
"I know that," I snapped. "The point is, you'll risk exposure and arrest, or worse, if he keeps a gun in his drawer like Dr. Merton at the Lying In hospital."
He was silent a moment, his face impassive. "You sound worried."
"Of course I am! If you die…" I swallowed. "What will happen to me?" I regretted it as soon as I said it. It wasn't at all what had been on my mind, but I couldn't tell him that I cared about his wellbeing. I just couldn't. It was painful enough admitting it to myself.
"You'll have the cottage in Harringay," he said to the window. "There'll also be provisions for you in my will."
"Stop, Lincoln, please. Stop all of the kindness, the sympathetic looks, and the life changing gifts." I fanned out my fingers on my lap, but the stretch did nothing to ease the tension coursing through me. "It's impossible to remain angry with you when you're like that, and I need to remain angry with you. It's easier than… It's just easier." I turned to the window, yet I couldn't get his wide-eyed stare out of my mind or the twitch of his lips. Something in my outburst had amused him. I couldn't think what. I'd sounded childishly petulant.
He didn't respond, and neither of us spoke the rest of the way home.
Chapter 11
"No success," Seth said as we sat in the drawing room after dinner. His mother sat with us, reading the newspaper, apparently oblivious to our conversation. We still had to be careful, however, although sometimes I wasn't sure why. If anyone could withstand the shock of learning about magic and supernaturals, it would be Lady Vickers. "The first five gentlemen on the list can all be accounted for on November sixteenth. Three weren't even in London, one had a business meeting, and the fifth was with his mistress all day."
"Did he tell you that?" I asked.
"His mistress did. The mistresses of the other men informed me of their whereabouts too."
"They all have mistresses?"
"It's entirely normal," Lady Vickers said from behind her newspaper. "And all the ladies have affairs de coeur too, albeit discreetly and after they've finished breeding, of course. Everyone does it. If one doesn't do it, one feels left out."
"That's not true, Mother."
She lowered the corner of her newspaper. "It is true, and Charlie needs to know. If she sets her sights on a good marriage, she ought to go in with her eyes open."