From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10)(104)

“Which means what? Come on. You’re a smart girl.” Erin stared at her and Kori was suddenly happy she’d never been in Erin’s crosshairs because there was something deeply predatory about Erin when she got serious. “They put the club in danger. Big Tag had to be in on that. He’s a reasonable man. If he thought he could get what he wanted by coming to you and asking you to do him a favor, wouldn’t he? He didn’t. Instead he kept his mouth shut and put everyone in danger. What does that tell you?”

She thought about it for a moment, a chill going over her skin. “There’s something else. There’s something bigger that they aren’t telling us about.”

“Exactly. It’s whatever Li’s hiding. Whatever keeps Ian locked in his office all day. The old me would barge in and demand to know everything. I would take it all as a sure sign that these people don’t trust me. I would be so angry. But TJ’s mom has to be more. I have to be the woman Theo thought I could be and that woman has something I’ve never had in my life. I might have found the one thing that’s even better than love.”

Kori couldn’t think of what that would be. Love had briefly seemed to be everything. She’d relied on friendship to take its place for years, but being “loved” by Kai had blown all of that away. “What’s that?”

“Faith,” Erin replied softly. “I have faith in the people around me. I have faith that whatever they’re doing is out of love for me. I’m going to concentrate on growing this baby. For once in my life, I’m going to trust my family because this one is the best family. This is the family I chose. This is the family I fit into. You fit here, Kori. You’re part of this. So it’s time to really look at Kai Ferguson. Is he the type of man who would use you?”

“I didn’t think so.” For so long she’d thought Kai was almost perfect. Even his quirks had called to her. She’d loved the fact that they worked as a couple, even when they’d only been friends.

“Your instincts told you he was solid. All the time you spent working with him told you he is honest and true. Your friendship with him taught you he’s a great guy.”

Her instincts had told her he was the one. That magical one everyone talked about. “Yes.”

Erin’s hand drifted down, resting on her belly as though she could already feel the baby growing there. “So why are you letting a couple of words he said change everything? You’re actually allowing a few seconds you heard in a hallway to have more weight than all the other time you spent with him. Did you think for a second that maybe what he meant was he wanted you out of the op? That the ‘crap with Kori’ was about being forced to lie to you? Case could do that to him. Don’t forget the brotherhood. They like their secrets, especially when it’s all in the name of protecting the womenfolk. Maybe instead of him using you, he leapt at the opportunity to hop into bed with you because he’s wanted you forever.”

“He told me he loved me.” That was the part that hurt the most. She’d opened herself up to him, made herself vulnerable. More vulnerable than she’d ever been before since she’d never said those words to a man. She loved Kai. She probably would always love Kai.

“Maybe he told you that because he loves you,” Erin insisted. “Guys like Kai don’t normally lie about that. Would you have slept with him if he hadn’t said it?”

She could still feel his hands on her body, strong hands that dominated her, caressed her, made her feel alive. “I was having sex with him when he said it.”

Erin’s lips turned up in a knowing grin. “See. He didn’t have to say it at all. At the end of the day, it’s your relationship and your choice. You can stand tall and tell him to f*ck off and never believe a word he says again. I’m sure that feels like the way to go. I know I did that to Theo more than once. I thought being strong meant telling everyone to f*ck off, but I was a scared little girl. Be a strong woman and ask him what he meant. You can give him a chance. Do you have any idea what I would give to have taken that chance before I did? To be able to look back and have had more time with him. But I was stubborn and arrogant and I was so scared. He scared the hell out of me.”

Her heart ached for Erin and for herself. For what Erin lost. For what Kori had never really had. “Would you take it back? If you could. Would you go back and erase it all so you don’t feel the pain you do now?”

It was an actual ache in her body. The loss of Kai felt like emptiness one minute and agony the next. She wasn’t sure how she would get through the next few weeks. How was she going to be able to face him?

“Not a second,” Erin said, her face flushed with emotion. “Not one single second. If you would go back and erase Kai from your life, then walk away now because that’s not love. If you would do that, then he’s not the right man and you can move on. But if he is, then have some faith in him. Have some faith in you.”

There was a short knock on the door and then the alarm pinged briefly as it came open. A few more beeps and Big Tag was walking in, his massive shoulders filling the hallway. There was proof that Erin trusted him. He had a key and knew her code.

“Okay, I’m here. Someone want to explain why I’m not springing my brother from the big house?” Ian asked with a frown.

Erin rose to her feet. “Case isn’t arrested, the big baby. Besides, jail would do him good. Rough him up a little. Your whole line is soft, Taggart. Did you call Sean to pick him up?”