Frigid Affair(50)

In the time we’d been in Wyoming we’d worked hard to make our house into our forever home. Soon after moving he’d landed a job during construction while signing up to volunteer at the fire department. Three months later he received word that his book was being published by a large firm. We were elated, because we knew the royalties would give us a chance for more financial security.

He took what he’d learned while building houses and used it to fix up ours. He was always working on a project, or doing something outside with the two horses. When Celia was born Jensen finally got to experience the parts he’d missed with Christopher. He was a champ in the delivery room, and the biggest help when we came home from the hospital. We had our ups and downs like every young couple, but we always made it work. Unlike others, we knew what it was like to lose everything, and never wanted to go back down that road again.

At the end of the day we agreed to never go to bed angry. He was my best friend, and I looked forward to sharing our lives together.

A honk told me the bus had arrived. I fastened the second strap on the clean diaper and picked up my child, tossing a coat over her arms as I darted outside and down our long dirt lane.

Then I saw him. My little boy. He was in his red jacket with his superhero backpack on each arm. Jensen handed him his lunchbox and played with his hair I’d spent ten minutes trying to tame. I called out so he knew I’d made it. “Wait. Please. Hold the bus.”

Christopher had made it up the first step before he heard me and turned around. I’d always promised myself I’d never let him go anywhere without telling him how much I loved him. It was something I’d wish I’d been able to say to my family.

“Mommy, I have to go to school.”

I handed Celia to Jensen and made a beeline for the bus. Christopher stepped out and faced me as I crouched down to his level. “You look so handsome. I can’t believe you’re all grown up.”

He smiled, his two front teeth gone. “I’m five, Mommy. I’ll be home after school.”

Tears fell down my cheeks. “I know. I’m going to miss you.”

“Don’t cry. My new friends might see.”

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I guess you’re too cool to hug me huh?”

He wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear. “I love you, Mommy.”

“I love you too, sweetie. Have a great first day of school. I’ll be right here when the bus arrives to drop you back off.”

I watched as he climbed back on the bus and found a seat in the middle. Jensen put his arm around me as we watched the bus take off down the road. “He’s going to do fine, babe.”

“I know.”

“Come one, let’s get this little girl some pants on.”

I looked over to notice I’d ran out of the house in such a rush I’d forgotten her pants.

“Oh geesh. I guess I didn’t want to miss him leaving.”

“You did good. We only have twenty more years of this to go.”

“Then they’ll go off to college.”

“Ugh. Don’t make me think about that.”

“Sorry. Listen, I need to get to the station. I’ll call you when I arrive. Are you good here, or do you plan on crying all day?”

“I’ll probably have a few breakdowns.”

“Do me a favor and try not to call the school. Christopher is a good boy. He’ll do fine and then he’ll tell us all about when he gets home tonight.”

I smiled and watched as he came close for a kiss. “Tell Daddy bye. He’s going to work.”

“Bye bye,” Celia said with a smile.

Jensen nuzzled his nose against hers. “Daddy will see you soon. Have a good day, girls. I love you.”

“We love you too.” I called out. When I turned around I heard Jensen coming back toward us. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard on the lips. Even when he finished he didn’t let go of me. “I’d never want to trade this life we have, Amantha. It’s beautiful, just like you.”

“Come home to me,” I whispered.

He turned back and offered me a smile. “Always.”

It was something we both liked to say to one another when we had to go somewhere.



That afternoon I stood at the bus stop for what felt like forever, waiting for my sweet boy to be dropped off. I saw a truck coming down the road and then pulling over like it was going to turn into our driveway. I scooted to the side, noticing almost immediately it was Jensen’s truck. He hopped out with an ornery smirk across his face. “You think I’d miss this?”

“He wouldn’t have cared.”

“Yeah, but I do. I missed the first year of that boy’s life. I’m not going to miss anymore.”

He took my hand and then we waited. The moment I saw that yellow bus coming into view I knew everything was going to be okay. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t worry, but it would get easier each day.

Jensen squeezed my hand. “I told you he’d be fine.”

“I know you did.”

“I think we should have another baby,” he said randomly. “What do you think?”

I shrugged. “Want to get started tonight?”

“If the kids go to bed early.”

We both laughed. It was unlikely we’d have time to ourselves, but we could at least hope.