Frey (The Frey Saga, #1)(63)

She confessed to me a secret her family held, a power I had not known of my mother. They had kept it from my father, though he had stolen her after hearing a rumor of it. She passed to me many details of her sister, of the family… my family. She risked so much by coming here, to help me, to help my child. I would owe her.





I had to stop reading as betrayal ripped through me again. Though fear of burning the pages was not the only reason - tears were clouding my vision. Junnie.

Ruby laid her hands on mine, which were trembling now. Yes, I would take the dust again.

Tears streamed silently as I drifted to sleep, the ache in my chest only dulled by distraction. I felt weak when I woke but I was silent about the pain as we continued the journey. Yearning to avoid my thoughts altogether, I spent much of the day in the mind of my horse.





And the day passed.





It was evening again when we stopped. I barely noticed the group’s mood, though quiet, they seemed anxious and kept the perimeter close. Ruby brought me the book again and I took one long, deep breath before I started back.





Freya is growing and strong. She has amassed a following of sorts, though I suspect it is somehow connected to her frailties. There is something endearing about it, but some of it worries me. She doesn’t seem to be able to hear as well as she should through her rounded ears and her voice is oddly alto. She is a beauty, though, her unusual features earning her extra attention. The elders express their anxiety, again, that the humans will consume us but my father is already discussing arranged marriages, even mentioning Rune’s son, of all people. Anything he can to gain from her.





It was hard to read, this diary. My mother’s dairy. Her writings went on. Eventually, they became somewhat erratic.





My father has taken Freya from me. He has assigned her with tasks, Rune watching over her, testing her. It was just as Junnie had feared, just what he'd done to my mother. I will find a way to stop him.





The elders are keeping Freya now. Guards have been assigned to me. Like a prison.





I killed three guards to get to her. We only had a moment before I was torn away from her, yet I feel I got the message through.





She came to see me last night. I don’t know how she got past the guards. But I begged her to keep our secret, for her protection…





And then several pages were torn from the diary before it continued.





It was an accident. A product of her temper, her human emotions. They were testing her, a servant told me. Anvil was holding her back, Rune with magic. She snapped and they saw her power. Some denied the possibility but not my father. He has attained his prize, that which he has always coveted. I will stop him.





The plan is forming, but I am unsure whether it will work. I know I cannot defeat him, and his guard, alone. But I must protect my Freya. I must protect us all. It is the want of power that will consume us. The want.





The script was shaky, some words hard to read. Ominous.





I had no choice but to escape, I would need a distraction to have any chance. I went to the village to find my young Noble. I didn’t expect what was there. On my way in, I found the spot where we had met so many days. I almost didn’t recognize it, bare of growth, the dirt patted down from years of wear. And then I saw him, the man in tattered clothes, hunched with his face in his hands. He heard me approach and raised his head, the awe all that was recognizable.

“You’re back.” His voice was trembling, feeble. It was my Noble, young no more. He had been waiting here for my return. An outcast of the village; no one believed his tales of magic, the mysterious woman he claimed to meet here. He confessed to spending years trying to find me. He’d thought I was angry with him and that’s why I’d not returned. He was afraid to leave this spot, if I were to change my mind… forgive him for whatever he’d done.

I pushed the guilt aside when I recalled why I'd had to come here. For my Freya, to save her. What my father did to me, to my mother, I would not let him do to her. I knew what I must do, the only way. I approached the grieving man and reached out to him. As I held his hands, I closed my eyes. I could not watch as I snapped his neck, the way I had with the small boar as my first show of magic to him so long ago. I placated myself by remembering he would soon be gone, his life so short. I held him until he began to stiffen, and then carried his lifeless body into the village. Proof they would be attacked and killed, proof they must fight the elves. It was not hard to incite a riot. They were fearful creatures. I convinced them to raid the castle, gave them direction.

And then I returned. I knew I would have time to prepare, they would be slow to gather and make the journey. I was thinking of Noble and I resolved to wear the dress meant for our wedding, its dramatic shape and deep meaning. I remembered when he'd given it to me, explaining the white stood for innocence. I had stifled a giggle then, I could find no humor now. Yes, it would be fitting.





I knew what was coming then. But what I had read so far was so much more horrifying than I’d expected. I didn’t want to continue. How could I have been so stupid, to forget it was my mother that destroyed the northern clans… that took the families from everyone I knew. As they stood, protecting me, the betrayal I’d felt before was gone. In its place was a new hurt, a painful sorrow.