Frey (The Frey Saga, #1)(60)

I threw myself on the bed. I felt absolutely wretched. Actually, I felt worse than that, I felt as if I’d been poisoned. The room spun and I heaved over the edge of the mattress.





When I woke late the next morning, I was covered in sweat. My head spun as I stood, but I steadied myself and moved to the basin to splash my face. As I looked in the mirror at my pallid complexion, my features twisted in horror.

Understanding came suddenly and would not be denied. I scoffed at myself humorlessly as my words taunted me… just harmless fun... what could it hurt? For half a second, I wanted to scream. And then my hands found their way to my stomach and rested there.





I felt a sharp intake of breath. I hadn’t noticed I had gotten so deeply involved in the story.





I was unnaturally calm when they finally came for me. I knew they would know right away, recognize the obvious signs. But it didn’t matter now. I walked forward, resigned to my fate.

What I didn’t expect was their response. The throne room was full. And not one of them did not gasp when comprehension hit. But my father, and each of those present, seemed… pleased when they saw me. I had been resigned to my fate… but now, now they were pleased. They had no idea there was a… a human… growing in the belly my hands now cradled. I listened as their voices began, and then rose, clamorously discussing the news and what it could bring. I cringed as their words turned to the possibilities, the power I might pass down, the strength the new one might bring.





“We will leave at daybreak,” I heard Grey inform Ruby as I read. Perfect. The news brought on a new round of worry so I went back to the book.





Eventually, my father did seek to find out who the father was. I refused to tell him anything and he could not force me in my condition. I could see his plans for it already forming. I was almost happy it would not be powerful, half human and unmagical. I wondered if it could even be brought to term, I was ill so often now. The elders discussed it constantly, so unusual to be sick but it must have been a result of the pregnancy. Several of them were assigned to watch me and I had to listen to their incessant chatter. They seemed thrilled not to know how or when I had gotten this way, carrying on about young elves and their quests.





Ruby’s hand was on my shoulder, shaking me to wake. I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep. I jerked up, hoping she hadn’t seen the journal. It wasn’t lying there. I grabbed my pack, pretending to get ready, and sighed when I felt it tucked inside. I didn’t remember doing it, but I was grateful I had… I was really getting into the story.

I yawned and stretched, and then followed her out of the room. I was surprised at the size of the fort. We went down several corridors and passed a few doors before finally coming to a large, open area where the others waited for us. Chevelle smiled at me as I passed him on the way to my horse. I started to command it to kneel, but then Steed grabbed me at the waist and threw me up. I took one deep breath before we kicked up the horses and ran from the fort in a pack.





Our pace finally slowed as the way became too treacherous. Loose stones caused the horses to occasionally stumble or misstep. The haze was so thick I couldn’t see where we were headed, I only knew it was up. The wind was biting so I pulled my cloak around my shoulders.

Chevelle rode beside me through the day. When we stopped for the evening, he pulled me down from my horse and stayed beside me as we sat on large stones around a fire. Ruby was telling stories again and everyone gave her their full attention… everyone but us.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Fine, I guess.” He seemed unusually concerned. He was also sitting unusually close.

He spoke in a low voice though the others weren’t listening. I had to strain to hear. “I’ve been thinking about the bindings.” I turned to face him as he continued, “I was thinking there might be another way.”

He was hesitant for some reason. “How?” I demanded, keeping the volume as low as I could. What was he waiting on?

“If… well, it seems you may have more control over your thoughts than you realize?” He phrased it as a question. Yes, my secret. Was he trying to be respectful of it… or trying to keep me from getting upset… my delicate brain….

I wasn’t sure how to answer. But if it helped, if there was a way to unbind me, free my brain, get the magic back…

I settled on a, “M-hm?”

He nearly smiled. “Well, if you were able to… move about…” It seemed to make him uncomfortable, searching for the words. “… then perhaps you could find a way around it.”

I was biting my lip. He reached up and gently pulled it loose, his hand lingered on my face, his thumb on my bottom lip. Definitely not imagining this. I flushed and he dropped the hand to my shoulder.

“Please, Freya, try.”

All I could do was nod.

And then he stood and walked away. I sat unmoving for a moment, and then finally glanced at the group. They were deeply involved in their conversations. I took a deep breath and attempted to “move about” in my mind. It was completely frustrating. Fuzzy, wrong. It didn’t take long before I had a buzzing headache.

I sighed and threw myself on my blankets away from the group. It was still daylight and I tossed and turned, unable to rest. I decided to go back to my favorite distraction.