Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies #1)(51)
Pushing me farther back on the bed, he stepped out of his pants and tore open one of the foil packets. I watched as he rolled the condom on and reached for him when he finished. He grabbed the outstretched hand, kissed my palm, and intertwined our fingers as he crawled onto the bed and over me. I lay back and let him pull me up higher. When his lips found my throat, I wrapped my legs around his body and whimpered when his length pressed against me. He rolled his hips against me and I thought I would go mad if I didn’t have him soon.
“Please, I don’t want to wait anymore.”
He leaned back and positioned himself at my entrance. The hand holding mine gripped tighter and his eyes locked on mine as he slowly pushed inside of me. A breathy moan left me and he groaned as I stretched around him. Kash didn’t move for a few moments as we just felt each other. And with that lazy smile I loved, he pulled almost completely out and pushed back in harder. His name left my mouth and I brought his body down toward mine to capture his lips. Our joined hands were now pinned to the bed, his long fingers still entwined with mine and now clutching the comforter in them as well as we moved together. His other hand was in my hair, and his elbow was pressing into the mattress to keep his weight off me and give him the leverage he needed to move completely, but slowly, inside me.
My body was on fire for him, the heat in my belly growing rapidly. Our breaths were labored and our kisses were changing from slow and passionate to rough and needy. I urged him to move faster as I felt the familiar tightening low in my stomach and cried out when he leaned away and slammed into me. The heat in his eyes held me captive, and I’d never felt as beautiful or wanted as I did right now, in this moment with him. The hand that had been in my hair moved down my body, and the second his fingers rolled around my sensitive bud, my body shattered around him and I roughly whispered his name as I lost myself to him. He worked me through my orgasm, and when my body felt limp and sated, he curled back over me and placed his head in the crook of my neck. With a few more thrusts, his entire body tensed before shuddering, and he bit down on my collarbone as he groaned out his release.
His body was gently shaking when he pushed himself up, and I wrapped my arms around his broad back, bringing him closer to me. His arms gave out and I welcomed his weight for the moment before he rolled us onto our sides. Placing a soft kiss where he’d bitten down, he looked up at me and claimed my mouth next. We lay there holding each other for a few moments; the only sound was our heavy breathing as we stared into each other’s eyes. A soft whimper escaped my lips when his body left mine, and he kissed me quickly on the forehead before rolling off the bed and walking into the bathroom. He smiled when he came back in and saw me under the covers.
“I love seeing you there,” Kash said roughly as he crawled in with me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. “Are you okay after that?”
I snuggled in closer to his hard chest and sighed happily. “Much better than okay. I—” I broke off and kissed his warm skin.
“You what?” When I didn’t respond, he tilted my head back and searched my eyes. “What, Rach? You can tell me.”
Wishing I’d kept my mouth shut, I smiled softly and internally cringed, hoping I wouldn’t ruin this night. “I was afraid I’d end up breaking down during. I was afraid he would find a way to ruin this for me.”
“Did—”
“No!” I cut him off quickly and tightened my hold on his waist. “No, everything with you is just—it’s perfect.” I shrugged and hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes. “It was just you; I felt safe and cherished, like I always do with you.”
He kissed me softly. “I do cherish you. I love you, Rachel.” My chest warmed as I whispered my love for him back. He held me close and I was almost asleep when he said softly, “You begin school again soon. He’ll be there, and I—I don’t know how to protect you if I don’t know who he is.”
“It doesn’t matter. He won’t do anything at school, and you wouldn’t be able to protect me from him anyway. You can’t go to my classes with me. It just—it doesn’t matter. He won’t bother me there.”
“I wish you would tell me.”
“Why, Kash? So you can have a name? It won’t change anything.”
He opened his mouth but then shut it and breathed heavily through his nose. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked again. I don’t want this between us right now. I just want you.”
I kissed his jaw and silently cursed myself for saying anything. Relaxing into his embrace and the pillows, I tried to go over every second that I’d just shared with Kash and attempted to push thoughts of Blake away. After a few minutes of my internal battling, Kash began humming “Fall into Me” by Brantley Gilbert and I felt my body fully relax into him. I hadn’t even realized I’d tensed up again.
His lips brushed across my cheek and he broke off humming to whisper in my ear, “Sleep, Rach. I’ll keep you safe.”
When he continued, he wasn’t humming anymore; he was whispering the words, and my heart swelled. Sleep came quickly in Kash’s arms as he softly sang to me. If I hadn’t been sure before, I was now. I wanted to spend forever with this man.
11
Rachel
WORK WAS PICKING up now that summer was coming to a close and more people were returning from their vacations. I didn’t have time to sit there just talking with Kash at the bar, but it didn’t matter. The steady flow of customers made the work hours fly by, and then it was just Kash and me when it was all over. We didn’t spend every night together, but more often than not, we both ended up in one of our beds. I preferred those nights. I’d never slept as well as I did with him, but with how raw our relationship was, it was good that we still spent some nights apart.