Forever Mine: Callaghan Brothers, Book 9(11)

Death didn’t have the impact it once did; he’d seen too much of it, seen too many good men die for the sake of helping others. His father hadn’t given his life on a battlefield or in a war zone, but he had died a hero nonetheless.

Jack met the family his father had been helping when it happened. They attended the funeral Mass and prayed with the scores of others whose lives Liam had touched in one positive way or another. Jack remained silent and stoic through all of it. He’d always known his father was a damn good man. It was nice that others had recognized that, too, but it changed nothing. Liam was still dead, and Jack had only a few days before he would have to leave his devastated mother and his croie again to return to fulfill the commitment he’d made.

For now, the most important thing was making the most of the time he had. He would grieve later, alone, when he wasn’t surrounded by those he loved. His mother needed him to be strong, and Kathleen, well, Kathleen just needed him.

Her letters, the ones that made it to him, were filled with positive thoughts and tender, heartfelt secrets, but he’d been able to read between the lines. Amongst the tales of ordinary, day-to-day events -—events that he had never truly appreciated before he’d gone away -—was fear. Fear for him. Of what was happening, what he had to face on a daily basis. She needed him to reassure her that, God willing, he would be coming home soon to make good on all of those promises he’d made. And that she was never, ever alone.

“I want you to stay with my mother,” Jack told Kathleen later that night, after the casket had been lowered into the consecrated ground, after the last haunting notes of the bagpipes faded away. They sat beneath the stars in the glider swing, while friends and neighbors gathered inside, drinking whiskey and telling inappropriate stories. The traditional Irish wake may have been altered a bit over the years, but it was still something celebrated in their predominantly Irish community, a way to honor the dead by tempering grief with fond memories.

Snuggled upon his lap, Kathleen cast those emerald eyes upward. He recommitted every silvery-gray fleck, every thick, dark lash to memory.

“She’s all alone now, and I’ve still got some time left. You could move into my room.” Jack had been giving it a lot of thought. It made sense to have the two women he loved together, taking care of each other until he could return and see to it himself. Though they hadn’t yet said their vows, Mary already looked upon Kathleen as a treasured daughter, and Kathleen’s sister still lived at home.

“Are you sure she would want me to?”

“Aye. She loves you, Kathleen. She already thinks of you as her daughter. But she’s too proud to ask.”

“Then I’ll suggest it,” she said, absently stroking his chest. She hadn’t stopped touching him since he’d arrived, not that he was complaining. Each touch was a brand, and a promise. “I’m sure my parents will understand. They know it is only a matter of time before we’re all family.”

Jack kissed the top of her head, breathing in the delicious, light floral scent of her shampoo. “I like the sound of that. Being married to you. Having you in my arms and my bed every night.”

“Do you dream of it, Jack, as I do?”

If she only knew. “Aye. I dream of doing all sorts of wicked, evil things to you, lass.”

She laughed, just as he’d intended. “No more wicked than my visions, I’d wager. You’ve corrupted me, Jack Callaghan. Turned a nice Catholic girl into a hussy consumed with shameful thoughts.”

His lips found hers; they were every bit as hungry and insistent as his. This, being with Kathleen, was the only time the world made sense to him. When she was in his arms, he felt true peace. When he kissed her, he wanted for nothing.

“I don’t want to wait any longer, Jack,” she murmured.

Except maybe that. Never had he wanted anything quite so fiercely, but the past few years had given him a strength and discipline he hadn’t known he was capable of. “I want you, Kathleen, never doubt that. But I want you to have my name first.”

“Then let’s get married,” she pleaded.

“I have to leave again in a few days.”

“We can elope.”

“What about our families?”

“They won’t even have to know. We can keep it a secret. And when you come home, we can have a proper church wedding.”

He was sorely tempted. It sounded wonderful. To elope with his croie, to finally make her his. To join with her in mind and body. But the Church wouldn’t recognize their union, and if something happened before he could make it back and be married by a priest...

“There’s nothing I want more than to make you mine, Kathleen, but ...”

“But what?” she pressed. “We love each other. We want each other. Why wait?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because, I have to go back,” he said, frustrated. “And what if...”

Jack didn’t finish. He couldn’t. He refused to say the words out loud. Thinking them was one thing, but saying them was something else entirely. It made them too real, and the only reality he cared about in that moment was Kathleen in his arms. She was his heart and soul, and he was going to do right by her, no matter what.

Kathleen pulled back as if slapped. Her eyes widened and filled with tears. “What if what, Jack?”