Flutter (My Blood Approves #3)(60)

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” Jack glared at Peter.

“Yeah? Well, then, just so I can absolve myself from all the sins I’ve done against you, like saving your life and running away to Finland so you could live in peace, I’m gonna tell you the truth.” Peter leaned in a little bit closer to Jack and lowered his voice. “I kissed Alice. Three days ago.”

“Peter!” I shouted because that was the only defense I had.

We both suspected some kind of reaction out of Jack, but for a minute, there was nothing. A weird buzzing feeling engulfed his emotions, and I couldn’t get a read on any of them. His face was blank, and then finally, he turned to me. That’s when I felt how much it hurt him, and it was like being punched in the gut.

“Jack,” I said lamely.

“Fuck you all,” Jack looked at Peter, then back at me. “Seriously. Fuck you all.” Then he looked away from us and walked out of his bedroom.





- 24 –





Going after Jack would not be an option. When he left, I felt how badly I disgusted and hurt him, and he didn’t want anything to do with me. He might never want anything to do with me again, but I had to give him time. So I stood in his room, reminding myself to breathe.

“Alice, I’m so sorry,” Peter said genuinely. “I didn’t mean to say that. I never meant to tell him anything, but he-”

“Shut up!” I snapped. “Just shut up!”

Peter left me alone, and I sat on the bed. I trembled horribly, but I managed to keep from crying or vomiting, so it was almost a win. Over and over again, I just kept telling myself that he wouldn’t leave me forever. Not over this.

I had kissed Peter before, and he had gotten over it. Admittedly, I hadn’t really been dating Jack at the time, and he had still been hurt by it. But he only hurt because he loved me, and it had just been one stupid kiss.

I tried to think of how I would explain this all to Jack. When he came back, he’d want to know why, and I had better have a good excuse. Unfortunately, I didn’t have one. There was no good reason for what I did with Peter. I couldn’t even explain it myself, and I had been trying for days. What I felt for Peter was nothing like what I felt for Jack… but I couldn’t deny that I did feel something for Peter.

As much as I had been minimizing it, there was still this connection and pull I had towards him. Maybe I would have it forever, but I only acted on it because of weak impulse control.

That’s not what I could tell Jack, though. He would never be okay with that. And he was just starting to get along with Peter again. Why did I always have to ruin everything?

When Jack still hadn’t come back several hours later, I called and texted him. Multiple times. But he never answered. I could hear Bobby waking up in the next room, so I decided that helping him out would be better than feeling sorry for myself and worrying about Jack. Bobby wanted food, so I made him a sandwich and grabbed him a Diet Cherry Coke.

Milo was moping about the living room, and I’d had enough of it. Grabbing him by his arm, I drug him upstairs. He complained the entire time, but he didn’t fight me that hard. I managed to get him and Bobby’s food in his room without damaging any of them.

As soon as Milo saw Bobby sitting up in bed, he started crying. He ran over to him and they embraced. He apologized a million times, and Bobby forgave him a million times. Just like that, they were back to normal. I hated them.

Jack still wasn’t home when Matilda and I finally passed out, but that didn’t worry me that much. When I woke up, and he still wasn’t there, I got more concerned. After another thirty ignored calls from me, I decided I had to try a different tactic.

Jack was pissed at nearly everybody in the house, except for Milo and Bobby. In fact, he was ridiculously fond of them. I woke up Milo and demanded that he text Jack, just to make sure he was okay.

Two minutes later, Jack replied with, “Yeah, I am okay.” So I made Milo follow-up asking when he would be home again, but that text, Jack never answered.

I lay in bed, feeling certain that he was never coming home. He had left with a Lamborghini and credit cards with no spending limit. He felt betrayed by almost everyone living in this house. If I were him, I’d probably run away forever too.

What could he possibly still want with me? All I ever did was complicate and hurt him. He was better off without me, but selfishly, I wanted him still.

The ache I felt at being apart from him only seemed to be growing. Jack was either getting farther away, or … I don’t know. Maybe his feelings were ebbing away, and I could feel it, like a painful tear spreading down my middle.

I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I just stared at the ceiling, and let the pain consume me. After all, I deserved it. This was my fault.

“Alice?” Peter knocked on the open bedroom door, but I didn’t turn to look at him. I refused to do anything that didn’t involve being immobile and suffering.

“Go away.”

“You’re pissed at me, and you should be,” Peter said. “I never should’ve said that.”

“For once, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I sighed. “I never should’ve kissed you, and after I did, I should’ve told Jack about it. I screwed up.”

“I shouldn’t have let you in my room that night. Or maybe I should’ve…” He trailed off. “I never should’ve come back in the first place.”