Flutter (My Blood Approves #3)(57)

He mostly slept at first, so I let it slide, but I wasn’t going to let Milo just hide while I took care of his boyfriend. I gave Milo another night to sleep on it, but the next day I would make him see Bobby.

When I went to fetch Milo from Mae’s room, I brought Jack along with me. Milo was still pretty fond of Jack, and I thought he might listen to him, even if he wouldn’t listen to me. Stupidly, I thought Mae would encourage Milo to get up and deal with Bobby, but that wasn’t how new sulky Mae rolled. They were curled up in the dark, listening to Norah Jones.

I flicked on the bedroom light, even though I didn’t really need it to see anything. I just felt like they needed a flash of something to wake them up. They both squinted at me and groaned, and Milo buried himself deeper in the blankets and pillows. “Milo, come on,” I said. “Bobby wants to see you.”

“He does not!” Milo pulled the blanket entirely over his head, so his protests came out muffled.

“I’m sure he does, love,” Mae sounded almost like her normal self. I don’t know if it was our presence or the light, but it momentarily snapped her out of her funk. She scooted a bit closer to Milo and pushed back his blanket. “He loves you, and you know he does.”

“I can’t see him!” Milo said, fighting back tears. “Not ever!”

“I know it seems major, but it’s really not as bad as you think.” Jack sat at the down at the end of the bed to coax Milo out. “I mean, it would be major for normal people, but he understood what he was getting into when he got involved with a vampire.”

“Well, maybe I didn’t!” Milo whined, and he almost never did. Mae pushed back his hair from his forehead, and he rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I don’t know how I can ever face him again.”

“Just face him the same way you did before,” I shrugged. “You haven’t seen him, but if you had, you’d understand. He really doesn’t hold anything against you.”

“But he should!” Milo pulled himself out from underneath the covers a bit more, but he just stared up at the ceiling. “I nearly killed him. He should hate me. Something should happen. There should be repercussions for my actions.”

“You don’t think there are?” I asked. “Look at you!”

“It’s not enough,” Milo said. “I mean, I’m a monster! I should be locked up and kept away from people forever!”

“You’re not a monster, love.” Mae ran her fingers through his hair. “You’re just young, and you have some things to figure out. That’s all.”

“The fact that you’re beating yourself up so much about this proves you’re not a monster,” Jack said. Milo looked at him, sniffling, and I thought Jack might have gotten through to him.

“Have you ever done anything like that?” Milo asked him, sounding hopeful. If Jack had behaved somewhat like this, then it would make it okay that Milo had done this.

“Well… no,” Jack replied hesitantly.

“And you haven’t even bit anyone, so you have no idea what I’m going through,” Milo said to me, making me feel like an idiot and a loser.

I really hated that he had more experience in all of this than I did. I wanted to be able to advise him and comfort him through this, but like everything else in life, he knew more about it than I did. I was completely useless to him as an older sister.

“I have,” Mae said reluctantly. Milo and Jack looked at her with surprise, and she gave Jack a weird look out of the corner of her eye. “It was a long time ago, but I remember it very clearly. I know how terrible it feels, knowing that you almost took a life. But I also know that it’s something you can get past.”

“So what happened?” Milo asked. The tears were drying under his eyes, and at least Mae had been able to distract him from his misery. “Was it with Ezra?”

“No, he was a human, but he didn’t die, and that’s what matters.” Mae forced a smile, but there was something pained about it.

“How come I’ve never heard about this before?” Jack looked confused. They had been very close, and Mae loved sharing things. “Was it before I turned?”

“Yes, it was.” Mae shifted in the bed and tucked a curl back behind her ears.

She sat up more and refused to look at Jack. Right now, he only felt bewildered and intrigued, but I got the impression that there was something that she wasn’t telling us, and it made me nervous.

“Did he need a blood transfusion too?” Milo asked.

“No, but it doesn’t matter how he survived. The point is that it doesn’t make you a monster for drinking too much.” Mae purposely turned more towards Milo, so her back was more to Jack. “It’s easy to forget how fragile humans can be, and that’s why it’s important to always be careful.”

“Well, how bad was he?” Milo started to doubt her story since she couldn’t provide any details, but I knew she told the truth. She just left something out. “Did he lose a lot of blood?”

“Yes, he was almost dead.” She closed her eyes and rubbed at her forehead. “His heart had completely stopped beating.”

“So what did you do?” Milo sat up straighter, and Jack looked very interested in her story.

“We were… gone, and Ezra wasn’t there.” Mae sighed and shook her head. “It was a long time ago. I don’t know why all of this matters so much to you.”