First Debt (Indebted #2)(77)

Fuck. Me.

My entire body tingled.

“If sex with you is like that every time, I have a horrible feeling we’ll end up f*cking each other into an early grave.”

An icy gust skittered down my spine. If only she knew how true that sentence was.

She had no clue what I would do to her the next time. She’d had me twice with only skin between us. The next time…shit, I couldn’t think about what I’d do without getting hard again.

The joy at what I planned trickled into my double-crossing heart, and I knew this was the beginning of the end.

We would keep on ruining each other.

We would keep on desecrating debts and vows.

And we would keep on f*cking up our future until nothing but horror remained.





LIFE HAD TURNED from manic to surreal.

I still lived in a den of beasts, with fear around every corner and dread in my future, but my present had never felt so right.

I had obligations to talk to my father and brother before they appeared with guns blazing.

I had messages to reply to Kite.

I had bridges to mend with Kestrel.

But for some reason, I couldn’t bear to leave the insanely comfortable mattress of the Weaver quarters.

The ceiling above was obscured by the bolts of Persian material, and the scent of freshly spun fabric was the best air freshener I’d ever smelled.

I stretched, basking in the echoing pain of being used by Jethro once again.

He’d shown me how much passion was hidden beneath his wintry shell, and I knew he’d only just started to thaw. The thought of more sex, better sex, deeper, soul-blistering sex made me shiver in both excitement and nervousness. I meant what I said about killing ourselves with pleasure. I didn’t think I could stand much more. But nothing on earth would stop me from willingly walking to my demise if it meant I could take Jethro with me.

Don’t forget the plan.

I froze.

My goal of seducing him had worked. He’d changed and for some reason, had let me worm my way into his affections. But by letting me inside him, he’d stripped me of my defences. The moment when my body stretched around him, letting him take me fully, I’d felt something give inside. More than just an invitation or coy come-hither to destroy him—it had been real, and I’d had no willpower to stop him from invading.

You’re playing such a dangerous game.

My heart crawled up my throat at the thought of losing.

What can truly happen, though?

I already lived with a death sentence. So what if I died with a broken heart as well? It wouldn’t change my fate. It would only grant fullness to a life while it was still mine to enjoy.

Common sense didn’t like my conclusions, but I switched off my thoughts.

I rolled over, inhaling the scent of his woodland leather from the pillow he’d rested upon.

After we’d crashed back to earth, he’d spent an hour just lying there. Regrouping or thinking or just being himself…once he’d gathered his fa?ade, he’d wordlessly disappeared and not come back.

All my belongings had already been transferred, and I noticed my phone, recharged and no longer in pieces, blinking with incoming mail on the duck-egg-blue bedside table.

Not only had Jethro given me my phone, but he’d left it on and waiting for me to use.

Why did Jethro want me to use it? Wasn’t he jealous that I had an affinity with Kes/Kite? You have to put a stop to that. It wasn’t fair to confuse Kestrel by flirting with him via messages only to pull away in person.

I had too much to juggle with dealing with Jethro; I couldn’t enter into another masquerade with his brother.

Grabbing the device, I skimmed through my emails and opened text messages.

There were a few from Vaughn, a couple from my father, and one only an hour old from Kite.

My heart skipped a beat as I read.

Kite007: I dreamed of kissing you last night.

I reclined against the pillows. Ordinarily, I would’ve loved to respond and tease. Now, I felt as if I was cheating on Jethro.

Needle&Thread: Sorry I haven’t been in touch. I—I think…it’s time to end this. Don’t you? We both know who each other is. It’s too complicated to keep pretending.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. My heart ached at pushing him away, especially as I’d relied on Kite to be neutral. Giving him up, even though I knew the truth, seemed like I’d pulled away from the last remaining part of my past.

Kite007: End it? As in the thought of sleeping with me was so abhorrent, you’re done?

Needle&Thread: I just…I’m sorry.

Kite007: Fine.

Needle&Thread: We’ll still be friends. I’ll still see you every day.

Kite007: Sometimes, having a relationship entirely based on seeing each other stops us from learning the truth. Sometimes, the only way to see that truth is to block off all other senses but the mind. Goodbye, Needle. Guess you weren’t ready to see the truth after all.



Four hours had passed since Kite’s text, and I still hadn’t shed the pain inside my soul. What had he meant? And why wouldn’t he reply to any of my messages?

I’d frantically sent text after text, asking for forgiveness and an explanation.

But nothing.

It was only hunger that drove me from my room in search of lunch.

I hadn’t seen Jethro again, and the burn between my legs was the only reminder that something irreversible had happened between us last night.