Find Me Alastar(88)

Yeah, sick of you. “I’ll be fine,” I reply, still unable to make eye contact with him.

He grabs my hand. “What’s wrong?”

My eyes finally meet his and I rip my hand from his grip. “Don’t touch me,” I say sharply.

He steps back and his eyes hold mine. If he didn’t know I am furious with him before, he definitely knows now. Tabatha gets off the phone and turns to me. “He will meet you up in the main house in about fifteen minutes. Is that okay?”

I smile. “Thank you so much.” I bend and give her a quick peck on the cheek then turn and take the stairs. I walk into the house with my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I just want to get out of here and I feel the perspiration start to creep across my body. I have never been so uncomfortable in all of my life. I go to the front balcony and take a seat on the bench against the wall in the silence as I wait for my lift. I take out my phone and text James.

Hi, James. I’ve gone home.

Have a great night.

Em x



I hear the the door jam creak and I turn to see Alastar walk out onto the front porch. I turn back to look out into the darkness.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

I don’t answer. I stay silent. I have nothing to say to him.

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” he asks. “I will take you now. I won’t stay.”

I still don’t answer.

“What’s wrong, baby. Talk to me.”

I roll my eyes. Of all the nerve. That’s it, I can’t stand it. “I’m not your baby.”

“Em—”

I cut him off. “Don’t.”

He stays silent.

I keep looking out into the darkness. What is it about this guy? Why in the hell does he affect me like this? I feel like I can’t breathe.

Please, just go away.

“I need to know you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you in pain?”

“What do you care? Seriously. Go inside, Alastar.”

He doesn’t answer.

We stay silent, me sitting on the chair and him standing, leaning against the wall. We both look out into the darkness of the property, deep in our own thoughts.

The car pulls up and the driver gets out. “Are you the young lady I am driving?” he calls out.

“Yes, please.” I stand, walk over to the car, and get in without looking back.

Alastar still doesn’t speak.

The car drives off as he watches from his position. I put my head back against the seat and blow out a depressed breath.

That’s it. Game over.





Alastar


It’s 2am and I pace back and forth outside the front of Emmaline’s building. It’s not the first time I have been here, and to be honest, it probably won’t be the last.

Much to the disgust of Thomas, I came home from America after only ten days. I needed to be closer to her.

I’m having second thoughts that I have done the right thing. Every day away from her brings a new set of doubts. What if it happens, anyway? What am I missing out on because of my fear?

How high of a price am I prepared to pay? My mind is constantly jumping from scenario to scenario. This could happen if I do… but then this could happen if I don’t.

Nothing could happen at all. What if I am doing all of this for nothing?

Seeing her tonight has brought it to a sickening climax for me. I need to speak to her. I can’t stand the thought that I hurt her or knowing that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.

Fuck, I handled things so badly at the end. I pace back and forth for over an hour with my mind in turmoil. I stare up at her window, hoping she can see me down on the street, imagining that she comes down to see me and kisses me as she jumps into my arms, but I know she wouldn’t, even if she could see me.

I take out my phone and stare at it. I click on her name and scroll through the messages we have sent each other. I would give anything for one of those goodnight messages right now. I look back up at her window.

Fuck it. I dial her number.

It rings for a long time. I am just about to hang up.

“Hello,” her sleepy voice whispers.

A smile crosses my face at the sound of her voice. “Hello, Emmaline.”

She pauses. “Alastar.” Her voice is emotionless.

Silence hangs between us as I stand in the darkness.

“You’re okay?” I ask softly.

“Yes.”

“Are you still feeling unwell?” I hold my breath as I wait for her answer.

She hesitates. “I was never sick, Alastar. I needed an excuse to leave the party.”

My heart drops. “Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to see you.”

I stay silent, her rejection cutting through me like a knife.

“I see,” I whisper quietly.

More silence.

“I should let you go,” I murmur.

She hesitates. “Is there something you wanted to say, Alastar?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I reply softly.

I know what I want to say. I also know I shouldn’t.

“Goodbye, Emmaline.”

The phone goes dead.

I blow out a steadying breath and place my hands on my head in disappointment as I continue to pace.