Filthy (A Stepbrother Romance) #1(17)

“I don’t think you understand the whole thing going on here, so I’m just going to tell you to head back to the party and go on like you never met her.” I stared him straight in the eyes begging him to challenge me.

“It’s your fault, Talon,” he said, his voice sounding deflated. He took a step back, putting space between us as if he knew it was needed.

“Nothing is my fault.” My teeth ground together so hard I thought my jaw would crack.

“You keep thinking that, Talon. You keep acting like nothing you do is wrong, and shit will catch up to you.” Matt seemed to understand or maybe he just felt the anger coursing through me because he turned away from me after speaking and ran toward the bonfire.

I lifted my fist without warning, slamming it into the hood of my car. The impact of the hit vibrated up my arm causing a shooting pain to form. Blood pounded in my ears, and the anger I was feeling was on the verge of flowing over and out of me. Something bad would happen if I didn’t leave right this second. Walking over to the driver’s side of the car I got in, my eyes roaming over Mia’s sleepy form.

She was more than I ever expected, and more than I deserved. All I knew now was that I had to do whatever I could to save her from myself. Maybe Matt was right. This was my fault, and I just failed to take responsibility for it. Maybe, just maybe this was my punishment for being the * I had been for years.

Hell was God giving me something that I couldn’t have because I just wasn’t good enough. I would never be good enough.





I Hate Myself for Hating You


I could feel his body clad with my own, sheets beneath me, and a blanket pulled up over us. I should’ve been running from his bed, running from him in general, but there was no way I could. My body felt heavy, feeling coming back to my legs and hands slowly. I blinked my eyes open, even though they felt as if they had the weight of the world lying on them.

“You’re beautiful when you’re sleeping. A lot less mouthy as well,” Talon spoke into my hair breathing in my scent. Memories of what had happened came back to me at a snail’s pace. Donovan should be dead, and if he wasn’t yet then I was going to kill him. I turned into Talon’s body. His eyes were wide open and shined down on me brightly. They were little orb like stars.

“I’m sorry,” was all I could say, my voice sounding like someone had ran my throat through a grater?

Talon’s large hand cupped my cheek. His skin was rough where mine was soft, and I couldn’t help but lean into his warm touch. It was so wrong of us to be doing this, but after everything that had happened comfort was the only thing that I needed right now.

“Never be sorry for something that was not your fault.” His voice was pained, and he looked away from me and up over my head. The muscles in his jaw ticked as seconds went by. I could see the raw rage and anger. It made me want to reach out and inside of him to remove it.

“I know it wasn’t my fault, I just feel…” My words were cut off, Talon’s lips falling against mine shutting me up. I could feel nothing but his touch as he kissed me so gently; it was as if he was trying to remove the pain that I had suffered with each press of his lips against mine.

“No. Stop. Don’t speak.” He pulled away from me, and I missed his touch. I wanted more of him, so much more.

“What did you do to him?” I had to ask because all I could remember was hearing the sound of bones crunching.

Talon’s nostrils flared. “He’s still alive, so clearly not enough.” I felt the same anger. I felt the same pain. The fear that rushed through me when he pulled my shirt up over my head and everything went dark. The moment when I realized no one would notice where I went or what was happening to me.

I was certain that it all was over. I would be damaged goods, and for what reason, my association with Talon?

“Please, for the love of f*cking God, Mia, stay out of that beautiful mind of yours. I can see you replaying everything in your mind, and it makes me want to get in my car and go to that f*cker’s house and beat the life out of him.” Talon held me to the present with his touch alone, overwhelming my senses. I might have said I hated him in the past, but that hate was starting to melt into like. Something I wasn’t sure how I felt about.

“What if I said I wanted that?” I bit my lip, my eyes lingering down to his lips. I could see him take a breath in before he responded. He knew the effect he had over me, but I had never seen the effect I had over him.

He leaned into my face, his forehead against mine, our bodies entwined in a never-ending web that I didn’t want to separate.

“Then I would get in my f*cking car, drive out there, and do it.” I could feel his heartbeat pounding through his shirt, and I was sure my own heartbeat matched the rhythm of his.

“Please don’t.” I sighed. Talon had never been so soft or caring before, and I was all kinds of confused on what was going on inside that head of his.

“Then I won’t. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.” His confession rocked me. I was falling for him, even when I didn’t want to. Tonight had changed everything. He was opening up to me, not only that but he saved me. He rescued me when I was certain there was no saving.

“I want you, Talon.” I couldn’t believe I spoke the words. I almost placed my hands over my mouth trying to stop the word vomit from coming out. Then again you couldn’t stop the heart from speaking no matter how much you tried.