Fighting Shadows (On the Ropes #2)(42)

“I swear to f*cking God . . . I just told you who the f*ck she is. Now, get up off your ass and find her! She’s only sixteen. She can’t be running the streets alone.” I huffed out a hard breath as my anger momentarily slipped, revealing the true anxiety. “Please. I’m begging you.”

I had never exactly been an optimist, so my mind began to spiral out of control with scenarios—none of which brought her back to me.

I dropped my head into my hands as I tried to get myself under control, but I couldn’t even catch my f*cking breath.

“Can you give us a minute?” Till asked the officer when I began to break down.

“Sure. And you guys can head out whenever. I’ll give you a call with any information we receive.”

“Thanks,” Till replied.

But I kept my head buried in my hands.

With a loud sigh, he squatted down in front of me and grabbed the back of my neck. “All right. Let’s pull it together. You’re the logical one, remember? I’m the emotional one.” He tried to lighten the mood, but it was useless. My mind was trapped in the dark and vicious pits of worry.

“You don’t understand. She’s . . . different than we are, Till. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, but she’s so f*cking na?ve. And now . . . she’s out there alone. She’ll trust damn near everyone she comes in contact with. If something happens to her—”

He quickly interrupted me. “Nothing is going to happen to her.”

“Please help me . . . I don’t deserve it, but please,” I began to plead. I was looking at my brother, but my words were aimed at each and every greater force in the universe that could possibly exist.

“You love her?” he asked, temporarily snapping me out of my downward spiral.

“She’s sixteen. At this point, I’m just—”

He interrupted me again. “I didn’t ask how old she was. I asked if you love her.”

“I’ve only known her a month,” I answered.

Only Till didn’t think it was an answer at all. “Again, not what I asked.”

Was I in love with Ash Mabie? I could have sat there for a decade and never given an adequate answer.

“I don’t honestly know. I think I’m a little f*cked up in the whole love department.” I shook my head at my own assessment.

“You mean because you think you’re in love with Eliza?”

Oh. God.

My eyes jumped to his then, just as quickly, bounced away.

“Uh . . .” I stalled nervously. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I’m not stupid, Flint. I’ve always known you had a thing for her.”

Fuck. Shit. Damn. Multiplied by infinity.

“I’m sorry.” I looked away, embarrassed.

“What? Don’t be sorry. I get it. You forget I spent years pining over that woman. It f*cking sucks.” He laughed. “We had shit for a mom. Then Eliza showed up one day, doing everything for you boys that a real mother should. It’s not hard to figure out how those lines got crossed for you. It never really bothered me until you moved out. Then it killed me because there is nothing in this world that I wouldn’t sacrifice for you . . . except her.”

“I never—” I started, but he kept talking over me.

“I knew you’d eventually get over it when you met someone. So I let it go. Probably for too long.”

“I’m over it,” I rushed out.

“Why? Eliza not good enough for you anymore?” He quirked a teasing eyebrow.

“Ash—” I started, and I swear to God he interrupted me again.

“But she’s only sixteen?”

“Yeah, but—”

Interrupted. Again.

“In a month?” He glared at me, unimpressed.

“I guess—”

Inter-f*cking-rupted.

“You love her?” he asked again.

I was so frustrated by his constant disruptions that the word escaped my mouth without a conscious thought. “Yes!”

Yes?

No.

No?

Maybe?

Fuck.

Yes.

A world of hurt faded away with such a simple admission. I didn’t understand how, in such a short time, that crazy girl had sauntered in and twisted my life into something unrecognizable—but on the other hand, that was probably exactly how. With Ash, it didn’t matter that I was being smothered by gravity. I was more focused on her than I was on how impossible it felt to breathe. Air in my lungs wasn’t a priority when she was laughing beside me.

God, I’m such a dumbass.

Till watched me intently. “What was that? I didn’t hear you. Can you repeat that for me?”

“I said yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes. I love her!”

His signature one-sided grin popped up. “Then I’m gonna find her.”

“That easy, huh?” I asked sarcastically as the reality of my feelings continued to settle in my chest.

“No, it’s gonna be expensive as shit, but I owe you for saving Eliza.”

“You don’t—”

He cut me off.

Again.

Son of a bitch!

“Yes I do. And if you love her, then she’s family. You know how I feel about my family.”