Fidelity (Infidelity #5)(87)
“Thank you, Nox,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be outside if you need me.”
Dr. Beck and I both nodded.
Once the door was closed, the doctor came closer and lifted my hand. “You haven’t told him?”
The damn tears came back. How could there be any left? Pressing my lips together, I shook my head.
“You were engaged to Edward Spencer?”
I took a ragged breath. “It’s hard to explain. I was, but I wasn’t really.”
“Is this young man the father or are you upset because you don’t know?”
“No! I know. He’s the father. Bryce and I never…” I didn’t finish the sentence, suddenly embarrassed by the conversation with a man who’d known me since I was born.
Dr. Beck smiled. “…had sexual intercourse. It’s okay. I’ve been a doctor for nearly forty years. I’ve learned how it all works.”
Warmth filled my cheeks. “Bryce and I never had sex. I know how it works too, and Nox, Lennox, is the father. He’s the only possibility. I haven’t told him because this is unexpected and I don’t know how he’ll feel.”
“Another thing I’ve learned in those forty years is never to assume you know the answer to that question.”
“It’s just that…” I shook my head as I lifted the sheet to wipe my eyes and nose. “I’m not even sure how I feel.”
“Well, let’s look at the results.” Dr. Beck opened the screen on the laptop. “I miss good old paper charts. You never had to wait for those to boot up.” He paused. “First, how are you feeling? Your head I mean.”
“Honestly, it hasn’t been in my thoughts at all.”
“No headache?”
“A slight one, but I think it’s more nerves.”
He nodded. “Let’s see here… according to the blood test done in the emergency room…” He looked up from the screen. “Now, you should know this is only an estimate. An ultrasound would tell us more. Based on the hCG level in your blood, you’re approximately six weeks along.”
His words squeezed my chest. “No, that can’t be right. I’ve been on the pill. It was just these last three weeks I’ve been without my pills. I’ve thought about it. It had to happen a little over a week ago.”
“Now,” Dr. Beck said. “Do you remember me saying that I know how this works?”
“They said a little pregnant in the emergency room.”
His lips pressed together as he shook his head. “Ain’t no such thing. There is and there is not. You, my dear, are. Did you not wonder why you didn’t have a menstrual cycle after you stopped taking the pills?”
“No, I-I hadn’t thought about it. There was a lot happening.”
“Well, let me explain. You didn’t have a cycle because you were already pregnant. Your uterus was holding onto that little fellow. This can happen even with oral contraceptives. The good thing is that you stopped taking the pills. It’s usually safe, but it’s better to be off of them. Have you noticed any weight change?”
“Loss. I’ve noticed loss. Nerves.”
“Could be. More than likely it’s your body feeding the little one inside of you.”
I leaned back against the bed and closed my eyes. How did this happen? How had I not realized? Nox had said I was too thin. Even Patrick said I looked like they were sucking the life out of me. It wasn’t them.
Oh God. Alton was going to force me to marry Bryce and I was already pregnant with Nox’s baby.
Nox.
His words came back again, the same chorus, same verse.
“I want to know how you feel about children.”
“I don’t know… I think I’m too young.” I shrugged. “I guess my mom had me when she was about my age, but I want other things first.”
“But eventually?”
“I suppose,” I admitted.
“I don’t.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m too young.”
“You’re a baby in my eyes. It never ceases to amaze me when my babies have babies. You’re only about a year younger than your mother was. But watching babies have babies has been one of my greatest joys.”
“My mom was married.”
“Alexandria.” He set down the laptop and reached for my hand. “I’m not too old to understand. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
My heart ached, broke. Hard limit. Nox hadn’t found mine, but he knew his own.
“I’m a student… I-I don’t…” The tears came back with a vengeance. “He said he didn’t…”
I OPENED THE blue dot app on my phone. There she was, right where she’d been when she asked me to leave.
Asked to leave.
Rationally I got it. I did. I understood that the old man’s a doctor—her doctor. It’s not like Charli and I were married…
Her heart rate was up.
Mine was too.
After Jo, I never thought I’d want to marry again. Fuck, for years I never even dated, but damn my plans all to hell. I wanted to marry Charli. I wanted to be in the room with her right now. I wanted to wake beside her every morning and fall asleep there every night.