Fear For Me (For Me #2)(89)

He had to ask, “Could you shoot to kill if it comes to that?”

Her head tilted back so she could meet his eyes. “He stabbed my sister seventeen times.” There was no mask on her now. Raw emotion shone on her face. “Yes, I could do it. I could do it in an instant.”

Lauren was talking about revenge. He knew she deserved the justice she’d wanted for so long.

Taking a life wasn’t easy. What would killing do to her?

His fingers closed around hers. Around the weapon he’d given to her. “I will kill him for you.” A promise. He wasn’t talking about bringing the guy in. Wasn’t talking about forcing Lauren to go through a long trial and, then, Christ forbid, another situation like Walker’s.

Her lips parted in surprise. “You’re the good guy, Anthony. You catch the criminals.”

Not kill them.

But for her…to keep her safe…

He took the gun from her. Put it on the bed. Backed her up against the nearest wall and caged her with his body. He wanted her to see him exactly as he was. Far from good. Far from perfect. With a darkness inside that would always burn.

“I would do any f*cking thing if it meant you were safe.” His hands flattened on either side of her head. “Don’t you know that?”

Her eyes widened.

“You matter.” He growled out the words. “You’re the thing in this world, the only f*cking thing, I can’t live without. I know, I tried living without you for years, and I was so damn miserable. A hole was in my chest, and every day, I was just going through the motions. Hoping no one saw just how lost I was.”

Because when he’d left her, that was exactly what he’d been…lost.

“I went through my days, and my nights…at night, I dreamed of you. Fantasized about you. Wanted you in my bed and in my arms so f*cking badly.”

His mouth took hers. He couldn’t hold back. She was there, and he needed her more than breath. The kiss was frantic and hard with the desperation that drove him. Her lips parted beneath his. His tongue thrust into her mouth.

Lauren tasted of hope, of every dream he’d ever had.

No one would take those dreams away. No one would take her away.

Her breasts pressed to his chest. He could feel the tight nipples, and he wanted them in his mouth. Wanted her naked. Wanted his cock driving into her so deeply she didn’t know what it was to be apart from him. He wanted to give her pleasure, so much pleasure that it washed away her pain.

He wanted to give her everything.

And he would.

Using all of his control, he pulled his mouth from hers. “I love you.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have snarled the words. He could have tried romance and class, dining and—

Screw that. They were surrounded by death, and he wanted her to know just how he felt.

Only now she was staring at him in shock, her mouth swollen from his kiss, her cheeks flushed, and her brilliant eyes glittering.

“I always thought love made you a better person,” he whispered to her. “That it made you good. That it was gentle and kind.” Wasn’t that what all the books said? All the sappy movies?

Lauren was still staring up at him, and he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

So he kept talking.

“The way I feel about you isn’t…gentle.” How could he make her understand? He was screwing this up, but he had to tell her. Before anything else happened. Before another monster was at the door. “The way I feel about you—it’s wild and it’s dark. I want you with me all the time. I want your body, your heart. I want you to need me as much as I need you.”

It f*cking sounded like obsession, and that wasn’t what he wanted. He was trying to explain that it was more than just a dark need. He’d discovered it was more.

Anthony sucked in a deep breath. “I want you happy.” That was love, right? Only…I’d kill to make her happy. “You’re the dream I’ve had every night for the last five years. You’re the first thing in my head each morning. When I think about my future, I want it with you.” Anything, as long as it was with her.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

The door banged a few feet away. “Ross!” It was Matt’s voice. “I got the tech on the phone! We’ve got a hit!”

Why now?

Because if something happened, and he didn’t manage to survive the killer’s attack, he wanted her to understand how he felt about her. That it wasn’t just sex, wasn’t just the lust that would never be slaked.

Matt’s fist hit the door again. “Ross!”

“Because you’re the person who matters to me. The only woman I’ve loved, and no matter what else happens, you need to know that.” He wasn’t asking her to love him back, but he wanted her to.

So badly.

He stepped away. Summoned his control once more.

And headed for the door.

“You won’t leave me behind.”

Never again.

He glanced over his shoulder and saw she’d grabbed the gun.

“I’m not afraid of what waits in that swamp.”

He knew she was, but she was still ready to face it anyway.

How could he not love her?

He yanked open the door. Matt was there, glaring at him. His fist was still up, probably because he’d been ready to pound through the wood.