Faking It(54)

Alyssa was softening. Her posture hadn’t changed but her eyes were no longer shooting daggers at me. Kindness was built into some people. Forgiveness as well. God how had I been so stupid?

“Here’s the thing,” I said. “Whenever I’ve messed up before, I don’t even try to stop it. I see it coming and I don’t care. I messed up again, but I fought it that entire afternoon. Even when I was there. Because all I could think about was you.”

“How am I supposed to feel about that?” she said. “You tried, sort of, then gave in anyway, for me?”

That let the air out of me but I knew she was right. “Fair enough. I’m just saying that it’s progress. And if the progress is too slow for you, I understand. I will probably always be a work in progress and I have to make my peace with that. But I will always keep trying to get better, for you.”

Alyssa wiped her eyes. “I just couldn’t believe it. I missed you so much. I couldn’t wait to talk to you and see you again. When I did...that’s how it happened. Like you were someone I’d never known or met. Honestly Braden, it made me wonder all over again if you’d just been playing me the whole time.”

I wanted to hug her but had no idea how she would react if I tried to touch her. “I’m not that good of an actor, Alyssa,” I said. “I’ve never even tried to act like I loved someone before. I wouldn’t even know how to start.”

Her head snapped up. “What do you mean like you loved someone?” She bit her lip. I really hoped I hadn’t said the wrong thing. “I love you” gets tossed out there far too quickly, by far too many people. It can even be used to manipulate someone, or as the key to their cage as long as they’re willing to stay with someone who’s no good, but who will say those three little words.

I couldn’t help it. I swept her up in my arms and squeezed her. She stiffened, then put her hands on my back. “I love you,” I said. “I know it. I never knew what it felt like. Now I do. And I know it mainly because now I’ve learned what it feels like to lose someone you love.”

She pushed me back a little so she could look up at me. “I don’t think you’ve lost me. Some things have to be different. And clear. But I don’t think this has to be it if you mean what you say.”

“If I knew how to convince you with words, I would say them,” I said. “But I’m just going to have to show you. I know it will take time to regain your trust, but that’s what I want, if you’ll give me time.”

She started to say more but stopped at the sound of footsteps somewhere behind her. Her eyes widened. “Go,” she hissed. “I’ll come find you later.”

But it was too late. Mason had come up from the basement and was standing behind his daughter.

“Braden!” he said. “I didn’t know you were here! Alyssa, show him in, I was about to make dinner! I heard about the fight!” he said. “We’ve got a lot of work to do!”

“I told him you weren’t here, dad,” said Alyssa. “Where were you?”

“Downstairs. I’ve been putting in some soundproofing on one of the rooms. Considering getting a music setup down there, but wouldn’t want it to deafen anyone upstairs. I’ve had my eye on a Les Paul Epiphone guitar down at the store. Are you guys okay?”

My heart was hammering. “So,” I said. “Have you…”

He sidestepped Alyssa and punched me lightly in the chest. “I saw the video. Can’t say I’m impressed, Braden, but you already know that. We need to put that behind us for now and work. Looks like, ultimately, no harm was done. Maybe just to your pride. I don’t like the promotional side of things, but your agent will find a way to make this work for you, I’m sure. You’ll probably have a bunch of movie offers soon. Every action movie needs a hothead who can’t hold his liquor, right? Alyssa, drag him inside, will you? I also want to hear about how the interview wrapped up.”

“Coach…”

“Braden, this is no time for you to beat yourself up. I appreciate the remorse you obviously feel, but we need to compartmentalize. Vlad deserves your undivided attention. So does your long-term health, for that matter.”

“I’m not taking the fight,” I blurted out.

Their heads swiveled to me in unison. “What?” they both said.

Better to just do it. “I have to tell you something. Both of you. Something about my plans. I…did something today.”

Mason stepped back and cocked his head. He watched me like he was a scientist with a clipboard, detached, simply waiting to observe the behavior of his latest subject. “Define ‘did something.’”

“I didn’t come here to see you, coach,” I said. “I’m here to see Alyssa.” I reached out and took one of her hands in both of mine.

“What the hell is this?” said Mason, stepping forward. “Alyssa?”

Alyssa put a hand on his chest. “It’s okay, dad.”

“I say what’s okay in this house. I demand an explanation.”

Whatever happened next, it was going to be a relief to step over this line and see just where I stood. I could handle whatever was coming. I knew I was making the right choice for once.

“I’ve been seeing your daughter,” I said. “And I’m in love with her.”