Exaltation (Insight #11)(53)

Rydell was quick to establish grudges, even with people he’d never met—that much Raven was sure of.

“You need a Thelma Ray in your life.”

“A who?” Rydell said with an arched brow.

“Neighbor, family friend. She has a way of putting me at ease. What makes you feel at ease, Rydell?”

He pursed his lips, lips that Raven would swear she could still taste. “I haven’t felt at ease for a long time…”

“Why is that?”

His ice blue stare grazed across her searching for an answer he was still blind to.

“Family issues.”

“Is that why you’re new to the school this year?”

He furrowed his brow. “How do you know I’m new if you are, too?”

“Lucky guess. Most kids have already hooked up with someone or have a past. I haven’t heard your name attached with anyone’s.”

“Are you asking around about me?”

Raven shrugged. “I listen more than I speak at school.”

One shallow nod.

“So what’s going on at home? Divorce?”

Rydell smirked. “Just didn’t really agree with my father.”

Raven covered her mouth with her hand to mock shock. “That makes you, like, so original.”

He laughed, a deep, bellowing laugh.

“You have daddy issues?” he asked.

“Me? Nope. I have the best father in existence.”

“Mother issues?”

“Don’t have one.”

He tilted his head. “Should I point out the obvious?”

Now Raven was laughing. “You know not all of us are given a mother and a father. And that’s just fine because there were always people willing to fill those empty roles. I have plenty of mother figures. The best I could hope for.”

“Like a Thelma Ray.”

“Just like her. She taught me respect. The twins’ mom taught me to be a powerful thinker, an independent woman. My aunt taught me to appreciate all that could not be seen. There are more mother figures for sure. Family is created by those we pull to us, not by blood.” She could see a pain in his eyes and didn’t understand why. “Not sure what’s going on at home. Or if you want to talk about it or not, but I’ll listen. And if you don’t want to talk about it that’s cool, too. Talk about what makes you happy, that helps make the dark moments look more insignificant.”

Rydell hesitated for a second. Family. Dagen was his family. So were all those behind them who were counting on him to end this girl.

“I don’t know which way I’m heading right now so it’s hard for me to think about what makes me happy.”

“Well…sometimes if you think back to the last time you were happy that helps you plot a new course.”

He took in a sharp breath. His happy moments were not in his immortal life, and were ones he had done a stand up job of forgetting about. They were all a haze. Far enough away that even if a conversation triggered him to reach back he had time to stop himself before he really remembered anything. He always felt it though, the emotions of it, how horribly it ended.

He had to focus on what was in front him now, not a past that was long gone. He had to charm this girl.

“Even if you wish the last time had happened under different circumstances?”

“Maybe think about how you would have made it better? Work toward that point?”

“That might work,” he said in a deep, seductive tone. One he’d used to lure a girl or two before.

“So how would you have made your last happy moment different, Rydell?”

He eased closer to her and she took in a sharp breath then let it out slowly.

“I would have stared into her eyes, past the surface.” Rydell slowly searched her shell-shocked gaze. “I would have smiled faintly as my eyes drifted to her lips and I’d silently ask for permission to taste what I don’t deserve,” he said as his eyes did just that.

“Then?” Raven breathed. Yep, you woke a sleeping lion, girl…but at least he’s purring right about now.

“I would have carefully cradled her beautiful face in my hands.”

Raven sighed as she felt his palms against her cheeks. Where in the hell did you come from—what boy talks like this?!

“I would’ve made sure the first brush of my lips told her how remarkably precious she was.”

I’m so screwed, Raven thought. A REGRETTABLE has me in his snare! And I … love it! Gah. Not. Good.

He leaned in, his lips touched the corner of hers. They were searing with heat and trembling, ever so slightly. He pulled away, just barely letting his stare linger where his lips just met hers.

“I would have told her, even though I knew we were impossible…the moment I felt her against me, my life changed. For worse or for better I don’t know, but it changed me…”

His lips met the opposite side of her mouth and lingered there for a while longer. He pulled away just enough to trace his thumb across her bottom lip.

“I would have told her that no matter how hard I try I’m a flawed soul who can’t keep the promises I make to myself much less her.”

Yep. You’re a witch, a damn sexy one at that. “What promises?” Raven asked with a tremble, as she reached her hands for his waist.