Exaltation (Insight #11)(51)
“Yeah, but rumor has it you’re on the hot list, or untouchable one—I don’t track those. But I would guess if this were a thing I would have far more competition than you.”
“I’m on a list?” Rydell asked with a bemused look on his face.
Raven shrugged as she skated away. She rolled to the other end to get the large half cut T-shirt she had taken off before.
She had no idea how he did it but when she stood up he was right behind her.
“Can we say ninja?” Raven quipped.
“I thought you were running again.”
Raven glanced over her shoulder to the darkest side of the rink. Only a curved, carpeted wall was back there.
It was the wall Raven pushed couples off every weekend because it was a perfect place to hide from the crowd.
“I never ran from you.”
“No, you rolled away if I recall correctly.”
“Like this?” Raven said as she began to circle him. Those eyes of his followed her. He caught her on her second turn.
When she felt his warm hand on her bare back she was the one that sighed. Push, pull.
“Just like that,” he said so quietly that Raven wasn’t sure he actually spoke the words.
“How do you keep doing this to me?” she asked as she let out a shuddering breath. He smelled so good.
“What am I doing to you?” he asked, as his other hand reached for her waist.
His thumb gently traced her flesh, still marveling over the barrier he felt…it was nearly as intriguing as the provocative addiction he had for her.
“Manage to make me act and look like someone I’m not,” Raven said as she found the will to push back. She halted her wheels before she got too far away from him. Breathe girl.
“Then who are you, Raven BellaRose?” Rydell asked, seriously wanting to hear her answer.
Well that was a loaded question, Raven thought to herself. “You really want to know?”
His entire body tensed. “I want to know how real you are,” he said as his stare turned perilous in an instant.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
“And who do I think you are?” he asked in a dangerous tone.
Raven stared at the defensive anger she saw in his eyes. She didn’t understand it but it didn’t scare her either. Her father’s coven may have been peaceful for the most part, but some members had an ‘old soul’ look in their eyes…a look Rydell had, like they had seen too much to trust anything or anyone.
“Somewhere between easy and a tease. Trouble maker.”
“Easy?” He grinned at that.
“Tease isn’t much better,” her gaze glided over his taut body. “I regret that kiss.”
“Really?” Rydell said with a lifted brow, not understanding this girl at all.
“Well, yeah. I was too hyper to understand what I was doing. I thought it would be the same as when Soren and I act out dances.”
“You and Soren?”
Raven rolled her eyes. “It’s called Art. It may be just a few kids skating on Friday night to most but to me it’s art. I don’t care what emotion you’re fighting, when you dance they all fade and you find bliss. I live in mine and allow others to find theirs.” She skated a circle around him. “And all you heard out of that speech was that in one—just one—of those dances I kissed Soren.”
“I heard the part about bliss and I don’t believe it. You dance for exaltation. It’s your vice. Is it not?”
“Now, now. That statement alone is an oxymoron. A vice is something you have to have every day. It’s an addiction. Something you let control you. Exaltation is something that’s only felt in fleeting moments. Not really worth the bother if you ask me.”
“Not worth it? Now you have to explain that train of thought to me,” Rydell said, realizing why her energy felt the same but different from what he fed on, why it seemed more pure, lasting.
Raven shrugged. “I don’t really know much about that emotion in the first place. Cool word though. But, if I understand it right it’s like bliss on steroids. It’s putting every ounce of your energy into one moment. Then once you reach it nothing else matters. It’s the high of all highs. And once it fades, the fifteen minutes of fame are but a memory and you plummet into a dark place. Never satisfied. Always yearning. Never appreciating what you accomplished because you are striving for that next empty rush.”
Rydell tilted his head. “For someone who doesn’t know very much about the emotion you seem to have strong opinions about it.”
They were more like lessons than opinions. Ones Miss Thelma Ray among other people had taught Raven. “Have you ever been told not to put all your eggs in one basket, to not count them before they hatch? To live in the moment, that life is not about the next superficial level you’re told to reach, but about embracing the souls that cross your path? Enjoy laughing so hard that it hurts or loving so deeply that no wrong could sway your heart? That breathing in deeply and having gratitude that you have the ability to do so? That you were granted the honor of living and experiencing life in the first place, is what we should all do daily? Have you not ever been told that bliss is within you and should not be sought after but explored in the simplest moments of life?”
Rydell was sure this girl was a born sovereign, that her outlook would change lives. Which made his dilemma all the more f*cked up. Kill her to save the millions behind him or fall and save the universe.