Eloping with the Princess (Brotherhood of the Sword #3)(36)

Afraid if he stood there much longer, he would do more than merely touch her hair, he took the foil from her hand and carried it along with his own back to the equipment chest. He busied himself arranging the equipment, even when he heard her approach from behind.

“I enjoyed this lesson very much. Do you think we can have another one?”

A better question was whether he could stand to give her another one. Even now, he wondered whether this had been a mistake. But how could he disappoint her? Yet he was afraid he wouldn’t have the strength to tell her no. Not when he had already denied her so much.

“We shall see,” he said. “You’re quite welcome to make use of this room whenever you like.” It was the least he could do.

“I shall.”

He pretended to be absorbed in organizing the equipment chest until he heard her leave the room. Only then did he turn around to stare at the closed door through which she had just left. His wife was entirely too desirable, whether she was dressed in the height of fashion for a ball or sweaty and flushed from the exertion of fencing. But it changed nothing. Everything he’d told her about fencing was true, and he knew that those principles were how he led his life. He was always on defense, waiting and watching and anticipating what moves others would make so that he could counterattack. He never let anyone get close enough to him to hit their mark. Because he knew that his secrets were his and his alone to bear. So with fencing, it was with every relationship he had: always staying one step ahead, keeping one layer between him and everyone else.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want things to be different. He did, but he knew they couldn’t be, especially with her. The fact that he wanted her as much as he did was a red flag warning him not to get too close. Everything about her made him want to lay his vulnerabilities before her, but if she knew the truth, what would it change? Nothing. He still couldn’t have her. She wanted children, had said as much to him. He would not give her that and, therefore, couldn’t give her the life she deserved.

…

Isabel hadn’t seen much of Jason in the days that followed their fencing lesson. His behavior toward her ran so hot and cold, he nearly made her dizzy. Gone was the charming man who’d teased her in the library when she’d first arrived at his home. Although she’d seen glimpses of him when they’d been fencing, for the most part, Jason avoided her.

Her dress had been delivered, as had a plethora of other articles of clothing, shoes, ribbons, and jewels. He’d likely spent more money on her in that single day of shopping than Thornton had her entire life. Jason certainly created the outward appearance of a doting husband.

The shimmering green dress hung on the door of her armoire, and every time she walked past it, she ran her fingers over the luxurious fabric. It was nearly time to get dressed. There was a rap at the door, followed by a line of women entering Isabel’s bedchamber. Four maids, then Evie, and then her aunt Lilith.

“Could it truly be you, Aunt Lilith?” Isabel asked, blinking back the tears that pricked her eyes.

“It is me, squirrel.” Isabel couldn’t remember why Lilith had started calling her “squirrel,” only that she had done so since they’d met.

They embraced, and Isabel wished for only a moment that they were alone and she could share all the goings-on that had happened over the last couple of weeks.

Isabel smiled. “You have no idea how pleased I am you are here.”

Lilith braced both hands on her hips. “I left you for only a short time and I return to London to discover you are married.”

“It happened rather quickly,” Isabel said. She wasn’t certain how much Lilith had been told about her union with Jason.

“It is the best solution to keep you safe,” Lilith said, and she squeezed Isabel’s hand.

“Yes,” Evie agreed. “Now we are family. Since Ellis is my cousin.” Then Evie grinned broadly. “You must tell us all about Gretna Green. I’ve heard stories but never known anyone personally who had eloped.”

“I want to hear that as well,” Lilith said. “But we do need to get you ready.”

As if that was their command, the maids jumped into action: undressing and dressing her, brushing her hair, and so forth. All the while, Isabel shared pieces of her wedding.

“It sounds deliciously romantic,” Evie said.

She might foolishly wish that her marriage was built on love, or at least had the potential for such, but she would not share that with anyone. It was her own fault that she fancied Jason. She knew the true purpose of their union, and it was a valiant one, one she could truly be proud of. And she loathed the idea of Lilith and Evie pitying her. So instead of being quiet, she steeled herself for their sympathy and purposefully met their eyes. “I suppose it is if you’re marrying for love,” Isabel said quietly. “The couple who wed straight before us, they positively glowed with affection for each other.”

“Bennett and I should have simply gone there instead of waiting through this lengthy engagement,” Evie said.

“I suppose I’ll have to wait a great deal longer,” Lilith said.

Two maids moved on to dress Evie, and she sucked in as they tightened her corset. “For what?” Evie asked.

“I agreed to marry Gabriel,” Lilith said.

“That’s splendid,” Evie said, clapping her hands together.