Elite (Eagle Elite #1)(69)

When I moved to put on the t-shirt, he closed his eyes like a gentleman even though I didn’t force him to.

Once I was done putting on the sweats I kissed him on the cheek. My way of telling him thank you and that I was done dressing.

He dropped the towel to the floor and scooped me into his arms. With a grunt he had me on the bed tucked into his body.

I didn’t realize I was still crying until he wiped away a few stray tears.

“I won’t let anything happen to you — I swear on my life, I’ll protect you until the day I die,” Nixon whispered hoarsely.

“That’s a pretty big promise.”

“Well, you’re a pretty important person. Important people deserve big promises, and you, Trace. You deserve the world.”

I shook my head. Why was I suddenly feeling so insecure? Did having Phoenix’s hands on me really mess me up that much? I wasn’t used to this feeling, as if I didn’t deserve anything anymore.

With a curse Nixon tugged me closer. “You deserve the white dress, Trace. And the flowers and the music. You deserve that first dance with your husband. The stars in his eyes when he sees you walking down the aisle. You deserve the castle and the prince. A man who adores you, a family who sacrifices for you, friends who take care of you. Trace — you deserve it, but you have to believe it.”

I sniffled. “What if I just want you? What if I just want that one thing?”

“Damn it, Trace, I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. The messed up part is I know it, but I want you anyways.”

“Want?”

“Need.” He croaked. “I need you like I need my heart to pump blood through my body, like I need air to breathe, like we need gravity. Hell, Trace, you are my gravity. Being with you makes me feel centered and whole, and I’m too screwed up to convince you to want any different. I’m too selfish to push you into someone else’s arms when I know mine may be the worst ones for you to be in.”

“But I want…” My lower lip trembled. I bit down hard so I could finish my sentence. Taking a soothing breath I started again. “I want you.”

His breath hitched and then his lips were on my neck. Warmth exploded at his touch. I leaned into him. Nixon murmured something in Sicilian and gently turned me on my back. He didn’t get on top of me, even though I wanted him to. Instead he stayed right by my side and continued kissing my neck, and then my chin, and finally my eyes.

“Where did he touch you?”

“Huh?”

“Where?” Nixon prodded gently.

I pointed to my neck where Phoenix had held me. Nixon kissed the exact spot where I’m sure a bruise was going to start showing as well. I pointed to my arm. Nixon’s lips met the place where Phoenix gripped me, and so went the next ten minutes as Nixon erased every single place that Phoenix had corrupted.

“And here.” I pointed to my mouth.

Nixon smiled, and then devoured — not kissed — my lips. His mouth covered mine completely as his tongue slipped in and pushed against mine.

My hands reached around his neck as I pulled him firmer against me. After a bit of hesitation he slowly moved on top of me, careful to keep his weight from crushing me. His hands dove into my hair as he deepened the kiss. I bit down on his lip and sucked his lip ring.

A growl escaped his mouth as his hands gripped my face. My body still didn’t feel close enough to his, so I arched up to meet him but was pushed gently back against the bed.

“You’re killing me, Trace.” Nixon groaned against my neck. With another groan he pulled back. “And I’m probably going to hate myself later tonight for saying this, but after everything…” He shook his head. “I can’t… I can’t—” I licked my lips and leaned forward.

“Ah, hell.” Nixon’s mouth was on mine in an instant. Eager and hot, his kiss met mine. He pushed, I pulled, he tugged, and I gripped. My body melted into his. I wanted to rip my clothes off, to lose myself in him in order to forget the nightmare of what had just happened to me.

My hands moved to his shirt.

A loud throat cleared.

Nixon jerked away from me and snapped. “This better be good, Chase, or I’m going to strangle you.”

Chase’s eyes met mine and for a second I felt guilty. I looked at the position I was in, underneath Nixon’s body, out of breath and flushed with excitement.

All after Chase had said he loved me and covered me up with his jacket. I licked my lips and noticed Chase’s blue eyes narrow. He blinked a few times in my direction and gripped the doorframe with his hand. His knuckles turned a few shades whiter before his eyes left mine and fell on Nixon.

“I just thought you should know that Mr. Alfero has everything set up and ready. Seems he was a bit over zealous about getting some of the men together. I didn’t think you would want Phoenix to die without letting Trace have a crack.”

“A crack?” I repeated.

“At Phoenix.” Chase’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You do want to slap him, don’t you? Because if you don’t, I sure as hell will. Shit. I’ll break both his legs for you.”

I knew he meant it. I also knew that if I let him and everyone else unleash on Phoenix I’d have a murder on my conscience. Is that how they dealt with everything in the mafia?

“How are you?” Chase walked into the room. Nixon held up his hand for him to stop.