Elite (Eagle Elite #1)(64)

It was the first time I’d been this close to him since the incident when he trampled over my heart and ruined any chance I had of falling in love. I know it sounded severe, but it was all or nothing with him. I still loved him, and I hated that I had feelings for him when he clearly felt nothing for me.

Even after thinking through what happened that day, it occurred to me that even though he could have been doing it to protect me, he could have at least texted me in private or made it so we could hang out. I mean, come on. He was a mafia boss. He could make anything happen.

Maybe that was the worst part. He didn’t love me enough to even make me his dirty little secret? He didn’t love me enough to even try to make something work. He didn’t use his many connections. He didn’t have any weak moments. The bitterness just kept getting worse until I felt like I was going to explode from it all.

“Dr. Stevens is out sick today, so I’ll be filling in.” Nixon’s eyes scanned the room and fell on me. Without breaking eye contact he instructed everyone to take notes on the movie assignment. Papers were passed out and then the lights went out.

I closed my eyes. Not because I was tired, but because I figured if I couldn’t see him it wouldn’t hurt so badly. I thought I was done crying. I thought wrong, as a single tear slid down my cheek. It still cut deep, it still hurt so much.

“Trace,” Nixon whispered behind me. I stiffened. Refusing to turn around, I pretended I didn’t hear him.

“Trace, don’t be like that…”

Was he for real?

“I miss you.” His lips grazed my ear. “So damn much, and I wish… I wish I could tell you… Damn it, I wish I didn’t promise, but I did. I have to protect you. Being with you. It isn’t safe. You have to understand that now.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and still refused to acknowledge him.

“Please, sweetheart. Just please remember what I said.” The metal from his lip ring sent a tingle down my spine as it connected with my ear. “I always keep my promises. If I don’t — people die. Do you understand? I can’t have innocent blood on my hands especially when it could be yours.”

He sighed heavily, sending tremors through my body. “I had no choice, Trace.”

That was it. I was done.

I flipped around so fast he jerked back and cursed.

“No, you listen.” I pointed my finger at him and whispered so nobody else could hear us. “There is always a choice. I refuse to allow you to justify your actions by saying your hands were tied. You’re Nixon Abandonato. You had a choice, and you made it. Screw your excuses, I’m so tired of it, Nixon. All of it. I’m done. I’m…” I swallowed. “I’m not coming back next semester. You’re right. I can’t do this. It’s not my world. I don’t belong here.”

He reached for my hand but I jerked it away.

“You do, though, Trace. You belong here just as much as anybody else and—”

“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t. I can’t tell them who I am, and even if I did, what would happen? I’d earn respect because of my family, but it would all be fake. Meanwhile you’d come up with another excuse to break my heart into a million pieces saying you had no choice. Go to hell, Nixon. Actually…” I laughed. “Don’t. Because I’ve been living there for the past three weeks. Just stay away from me.”

I grabbed my books and left class. The last image I had of him was his forehead pressed against his hands as his face contorted into a mixture of pain and regret. Good. Let him hurt as much as he hurt me.

Once in the hallway I reached for my necklace. Maybe I was being ridiculous, but since Nixon had warned me not to wear it, I found great pleasure in doing the opposite of one of his orders.

I pulled the cross from beneath the collar of my pressed white shirt and sighed. “Grandma, I wish you were here.”

“Grandma?” A dark voice was from beside me.

Oh no.

I looked up and directly into Phoenix eyes.

His smile was pure evil. “Grandma?” he repeated. “Would that be Grandma Alfero?”

I laughed him off and briskly started walking past him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I quickly pulled out my phone and sent Chase a text that said 911.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Phoenix moved to stand in front of me. I turned around and started walking in the other direction, but he jogged in front of me. His arms came out to brace my shoulders. His fingers dug into my flesh as he slammed me against the wall. Why did I have to leave class!

“Talk.” His lips almost brushed mine. I tried to jerk away from him, but it was impossible. He was too strong.

“Or not.” He grinned. “We could always do some other things… word around the school is you’re used goods. Once I’m done with you, you’ll forget all about Nixon and be screaming my name instead.”

I kicked him, but he just laughed and grabbed my arm, dragging me down the hall with him.

I began screaming for help but the kids in the hallway just laughed as Phoenix added, “She likes it rough.”

“No, No! Please! Please help me!” I was frantic, clawing at his arms as he used all his strength to pull me out of the building and toward the Elect headquarters.