Destroyed(99)

Conceived by a forceful lover and a man consumed by demons.

I was now pregnant with his future.





The truth shall set you free.

That was bullshit.

The truth made me a monster and placed fear and sadness into a little girl’s heart. But it helped with one thing: it gave me Zel. The way she looked at me changed from wary to wanting, from fearful to needful.

The night I told my story, Zel came to me and broke my walls. She smashed my conditioning, and I hoped life permanently changed for the better.

I hoped I was cured.

But hope is a fickle thing. It made the future look bright and pure when really it did nothing but camouflage the dark and dirty truth.

Truth Zel kept from me.

Truth that ruined my hope.

Truth that undid all my progress and hurtled me back from human to weapon.





That night, after Zel retired with Clara to bed, I spent a few hours overseeing Obsidian.

The time had just struck midnight, and the club heaved with eager fighters. Men swarmed in packs, discussing strategy, sharing war wounds, eagerness on their faces for a chance to excel in a fight. Every cage, mat, and ring was occupied with a long waiting list hanging beside the rigging. Seats held blood-hungry spectators. Girls circled the crowd delivering drinks and offering themselves for entertainment while private rooms were in hot demand.

Another busy day at the office.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Zel had looked at me or the need throbbing in my blood. It took all my strength to stay there and not storm back to Zel’s room and drag her out of bed to take her. I’d never needed sex so badly—never needed the affirmation that I hadn’t ruined the chance to be together.

You may have told her the truth tonight, but she’s keeping something from you.

My hands gripped the balustrade harder. Her secrets were driving me insane—especially seeing as one revolved around Clara. I wanted to know. I deserved to know.

“You alright, Fox?” Oscar appeared at the top of the stairs. His blond hair was spiked tonight, dull with wax. His tan deeper, browner, as if he spent the day in the waves under a beaming sun.

“Yeah, I’m good.” And despite everything, I was. I’d survived telling the truth. It hadn’t been as terrible as I imagined—not that I’d gone into detail. By speaking of it, memories swarmed my brain, pushing and shoving for space. It was hard to ignore since I invited the past back into my life.

I looked away, focusing on two men brutally hitting each other in the boxing ring. The urge to fight filled my stomach. It’d been days since I’d entertained the thought of a session. I missed it.

Being around Clara gave me pain to ignore most of the conditioning, and the small self-harm I did in the shower gave me the extra edge I needed, but I wanted the joy of my fist crunching against something hard. I wanted the thrill of taking someone down. I didn’t want the shame of being a * and cutting himself like an addict.

You’ll never be fully free.

I’d never be tamed or soft and gentle. Violence was as much in my DNA as my brother and past. It was fruitless to pretend otherwise.

“I didn’t think you’d be working tonight. Ever since that little girl arrived, you’ve been distracted.” Distracted by chasing a better life. Focusing on other things to turn me into a better human being.

I flashed him a half-hearted smile. I wanted to ignore him. I was in no mood to chat after spreading my life’s history at Clara’s and Zel's feet. My entire body was bruised, my brain bleeding from remembering, my throat sore from speaking about such atrocities.

“Yeah, had a few things on my mind lately.”

Oscar came to stand beside me, carefully overseeing the men below us. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

I glowered. “Why? What’s it to you?”

He faced me, giving me his full attention. His bright blue eyes pinned me in place. “You don’t seem yourself. You’re frankly freaking me out. One moment you’re untouchable and slightly crazy, the next you’re brought to your f*cking knees by a kid—and not just any kid—but a kid belonging to a woman you’re falling for.” He sighed, running a hand over his face. “I know it’s not any of my business, but are you truly okay?”

I bared my teeth. “I’m fine. Drop it.” I turned my attention to two feral fighters who’d left etiquette behind and turned into royal uproar in the MMA cage. The crowd salivated at the brutal punches and the first spray of fresh blood.

The angst and love of pain filtered into my body, feeding my tiredness with unhelpful rage.

Oscar muttered under his breath. “She’s falling for you, isn’t she?”

I balled my hands, ignoring him. I hated sharing my private life. It wasn’t any of his business.

When I didn’t say anything, he added, “She’s good for you, Fox. I got it wrong when you first brought her up here. I thought she was another floozy only after your money, but she’s strong.” His blue eyes stopped trying to read me and returned to the fighting floor. “She’s got iron flowing in her veins and blades for fingernails.”

Despite myself, I was intrigued. “What makes you say that?” I knew the second I met her how strong she was. Her courage was the reason I chased her. Her strength was the reason I was in this mess. Obsessed with a kid and falling for a woman who I couldn’t read. One moment, I thought she cared like I did, the next I couldn’t tell.