Destroyed(101)

She couldn’t have toppled me with any other word. Happiness. The one thing I hungered for and the one thing I didn’t think I’d ever achieve. Even with her and Clara, it still felt fleeting—as if I’d wake up one morning and find it’d all been a dream. Snatched away and burned, leaving me with cinders and grief.

Despite all that, I might’ve believed her if it wasn’t for the glitter of sadness in her eyes. My stomach rolled; I muttered, “I know you’re hiding something from me. Clara knows it, too. She senses whatever you’re trying to mask, and I’m done waiting for you to tell me. I want to f*cking know.”

She shook her head, hair whispering over perfect skin. “There is something you should know. Two things, actually. And I promise I’ll tell you. But not tonight.” Her eyes captured mine, filling with need. “Not right now. Tonight is for us. For you. For our future.” Passion resonated in her voice, drawing me closer, drugging me until all I saw was her.

I didn’t know I moved until my knees crashed against the edge of the bed. I nodded, allowing her one more night of secrecy.

Breathing shallowly, Zel moved closer. Her body heat struck me first, along with her sweet, exotic scent. Her mouth came within a millimetre of mine, her breath feathering over my lips. “I want to kiss you, but I need to tie you first. I don’t want to run the risk of what happened before.”

I groaned, balling my fists to stop from reaching out to grab her.

Her eyes trailed down my front, scorching me with fire. “Strip.”

The command made me shudder, made me drunk on the anticipation of sex. I gawked at her nakedness, revelling in her flat stomach and perfectly formed breasts. Her nipples pebbled, bunching into tiny buds, reacting to my gaze. My mouth watered to suck. I wanted to lick her all over, rain kisses, and bite. I wanted to give her the same explosive pleasure she gave me the other night.

I growled, “And if I agree to you taking control, what then? You’ll refuse to let me touch you? Will you prevent me from f*cking you? From claiming you and making you mine?” I leaned forward, so, so close to kissing her swollen lips. “I’ve been dreaming of being deep inside you, Hazel. No matter what restraints you put on me, it won’t stop me from taking what I want, from driving deep and hard, stroking you with my cock until you disintegrate around me.”

Zel panted; her arms twitched at her sides. She sucked in a fluttering breath. “If you can prove to me I can touch you without you killing me, then you can take me however you want.” A shaky hand raised, dangling silver from her fingers. “But for now…I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to teach you the difference.” She spoke with such control and strength, sending a riot of conflicting confusion through me.

I loved she was strong enough not to fear me—to allow me close to her—to be vulnerable around me, but I wasn’t comfortable with her taking full control. It was too similar to my past. My stomach rolled at the thought of being chained by my ankles and hands and throat.

“See this collar, Fox?” My handler tugged on the leash attached to the leather cuff around my neck.

“Yes, sir.”

This is so you know who you belong to. You carried out your assignment last night, but you took two hours too long. Next time, if you’re not back in time, I’ll attach one of these to you and hang you from the f*cking ceiling. Got it?”

My heart bucked, but there was only one answer I could give. “Yes, sir.”

I shook my head, dispelling the short flashback. “You can bind my wrists, but that’s all.”

She narrowed her eyes, dropping them to focus on my hands by my sides. Uncertainty and fear swarmed in her gaze. She’d had first-hand encounters with how deadly my fingers could be.

I cursed myself for not having the strength not to hurt her, but no matter what she asked of me—I couldn’t give her full body immobilisation. It would kill me.

“I promise I’ll keep it together this time. Just don’t—don’t push me too far.”

She shook her head. “But that’s the point. I need to push you to help you past whatever barriers are in your mind.” She glanced at my hands again.

She didn’t know I’d killed men with my legs, elbows, ankles, even my skull. Every part of me, not just my hands, were fatal. I had no wish for her to know either. I’d let her tie my hands, but the real chains would be self-imposed. Only my willpower could stop me from killing her. Ropes and restraints wouldn’t work if I wanted to snuff out her life.

But I didn’t.

Never.

Hazel was mine.

After a long pause, Zel nodded. “Fine. I’ll bind your wrists and nothing else.” Her gaze dropped to the hard bulge in my trousers. “Now, strip.” She licked her lips, a flash of passion glazing her eyes. “I’m wet for you.”

My cock lurched, cursing the restriction of my trousers. I wanted to slip inside her that very f*cking second.

My hands trembled pulling off my shirt. The moment the material landed on the floor, I tensed. Hating my skin, the scars, the memories. Even though I’d stood before her and Clara and allowed them to see what I hid from the world, it still didn’t stop the overpowering urge to cover up.

Rejection and self-hatred were fellow emotions as Zel’s eyes swept over me, lingering on some areas, coasting over others.