Destroyed(143)

I never let her touch my scar.

I hated it.

It was hotwired to my conditioning.

It ruled my life for so long.

Dropping my fingers from hers, I whispered, “What do you sense?”

The hope she’d nursed exploded into her entire body. Vasily stopped crying and a brilliant smile lit her tear-streaked face. “It’s gone?”

My heart expanded until I couldn’t breathe. My legs wobbled in sheer gratefulness.

“Oh, my God. Roan… it’s true?”

Shivers captured my skin sending goosebumps and every emotion that had been muted all my life over my skin. Love exploded my heart. I nodded. “It’s gone. All of it. Every last bit.”

Her hand clutched my cheek harder, dropped to cup my chin. “Are you sure?” Her eyes danced with hope and hesitation.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to dance. I couldn’t stand still with the joy frothing in my stomach. “Positive. Every bad thing inside. Every f*cked-up need to obey. Every mind-twisting command is gone. It’s disappeared.”

She went from ashen to f*cking glowing. Fresh tears filled her eyes, but this time they beamed with happiness. “You’re free?”

I laughed, stepping backward.

Every movement was lighter.

My vision brighter.

“I’m free.”

“I’m normal.”

I’m a father.

My eyes wrenched wide and I spun around. I was a father and I was free. I’d never thought I could have so much.

Striding to the cot, I scooped up Vera in her pretty pink cap. Her round eyes opened, locking onto mine.

Blue to white. I fell madly in love.

My heart expanded to include a little girl I’d lost. A little girl I’d gained. And a son and woman I belonged to.

“Hello, Vera,” I whispered.

The little girl yawned, her tiny lips stretching wide. She squirmed in her blankets. I knew right then and there things would be okay.

I brought her to my lips and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

She was mine.

She was my new chance.

My future was bright and safe.

Vasily had broken my curse.





Six weeks later, once Zel had healed enough to return home and the twins were safely absconded in their nursery, I planned a special evening just for the two of us.

While Zel was upstairs kissing the twins and telling them stories of a big sister they’d never meet, I decorated the lounge in a gazillion candles. I ordered a banquet of finger foods and delicious entrees and laid large sheepskins on the floor beside the roaring fire.

Tonight, I was going to make love to my woman.

For the first time.

Every time I thought about how different my life had become, I would stop and lose myself in memories. It felt as if I’d lived my entire life in shadows. Listening to conversations under water, and experiencing joy down a long tunnel with no light. Every since my conditioning broke, I hadn’t stopped touching.

I barely put the twins down.

Zel couldn’t walk past me without running her hands over my back or trailing fingertips through my hair. We hadn’t had sex since the birth, but we’d never been so intimate. So in tune.

I’d never been so f*cking happy.

Tonight I planned on seducing a woman for the first time in my life. I’d never bought candles or sourced romantic music. I’d never ordered food based on their aphrodisiac qualities.

Vasily and Vera had given me a brand new world to explore and indulge, and I didn’t want to miss a second.

My heart raced at the thought of taking Zel. Of worshipping her with everything I could. I wanted to know what it would be like to hug her and hold her tight with none of the shit I’d lived with.

There would be no past or Ghosts or terror.

There would only be love and lust and hunger.

“Wow, you’ve been busy,” Zel’s voice sounded behind me.

I spun to face her, never getting used to the way my love for her sucker-punched me the gut. “Shit, I wanted to have all of this ready before you came down.”

I still hadn’t presented the food how I wanted. And the statue I’d made her hadn’t been covered. Damn it.

I moved to hide it, but Zel sucked in a gasp.

“Oh, my God. Did you make that?” She drifted forward, absorbed by the half metre statue I’d done over the course of several nights. The conditioning might have broken, but I still struggled to sleep in the dark.

After a lifetime of sleeping during the day—those patterns hadn’t changed overnight.

“Do you like it?” Nervousness scattered down my spine.

Her gaze landed on mine, full of awe. “Do I like it? How can you ask me that? I love it. I more than love it. Roan…it’s perfect.”

My heart hurt as she stroked the bronze artwork with a shaky fingertip.

I let some of who I’d been return, but I did it willingly. I had the choice. I embraced the hunter side of me as I stalked toward the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.

I’d made it for her. A complex blend of her and me. Our beginning and our future. I wanted her to see how much I cared for her. How much I belonged to her and how much she was mine. All mine. For f*cking ever.

It wasn’t a clear-cut design, more tribal than certain shapes. Masculine and feminine lines showed a sea-froth full of horses. Five in total with Russian names engraved in their manes.