Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(90)

He pressed his forehand to hers. “I didn’t re-up, no reenlistment. I’m done.”

A shuddering breath left her. She stepped back for air. “Was it so you could search for Nolan? I’m not looking for validation; I swear I’m not. I just want you to make sure where you are and what you want is right with you.”

He moved forward and took her lips, a slow and sexy kiss that underlined how starved this girl left him. “It is now.”

A relieved smile came as she kissed him back, and she moved her arms around him. He was washing away a year of doubt and all the other ugly shit emotions tilled up—then clarity came to her. A beat later, she let go and reached for the items on the ground, and then rose slowly looking up at him.

“Just so you know, if you hear something harsh, I got over it...usually within seconds.”

He lifted a brow.

She slid the first image on the iPod. It was one of all seven test she had taken, the next was a side view of her with the date.

“After every day there’s like a minute or two video diary.” A quivering breath left her. “I didn’t want you to miss it.” She looked up at him. “I was mad as hell at you but I couldn’t take it from you.”

“You still did it by yourself,” he said as disdain for himself flashed in his gray eyes.

“Only because I wanted to, because I was stubborn.” She reached her hand to his chest. “Boon stays here,” she said and smiled. “Another day you might find his reaction to the drive to the hospital a bit amusing.”

“He—he was there?” Declan was jealous as hell—but he was grateful, too.

She nodded. “I called your dad, too.”

Declan dropped his head. “I want to hold Nolan...”

Her eyes welled, not surprised he knew what she called him. She took his hand and pulled him toward the house, feeling him tremble slightly.

Dawson nodded at him when he came in, then grabbed her keys to leave. Bell was with her. She only patted Declan on the chest as she passed him. In shock, Declan watched her get in the truck he had been cursing since he got there. Then he kicked himself for ever thinking Justice would boot him, even when he deserved it.

Upstairs, nestled in his crib, little Nolan was sound asleep. At first Declan only stared, disbelief washing over him. He was still mad, still hurt, and still full of grief but all of it faded, was forgotten. Life as he knew it was never going to be the same again.

Justice carefully lifted Nolan, and when she placed him in Declan’s unsure arms, Nolan woke and looked up at him.

“A Rawlings through and through,” Declan whispered to him as he decided he felt safe enough to sway him.





Twenty-Three


Hours later, after settling little Nolan down again and answering the slew of texts from Declan’s family, she made her way back to him.

Declan was leaned forward on his knees scrolling. From a distance she could hear her own voice. She couldn’t even remember what she had said but it must have been amusing because he smiled, a sad one, but a smile.

He looked up right as she approached, just before she reached him he went to his knees and looked up at her as his hands clutched her hips. “Let me give you forever, marry me...”

Her hands reached to cup his face. And after a breath she said, “Ask me again when you’ve had an easier day,” When she saw anger flash in his eyes, she reached to trace the base of his lip. “My answer will be yes then, too.”

Before she knew it he was standing, his lips were on hers and he was spinning her in the small space.

Carefully, he laid her down across her bed as his kiss went savage, then as his hand dipped between her legs, he suddenly stopped. “Is this okay,” he whispered, really having no idea if it was or not.

Her hand landed on his, moving it back into place. “Careful...like the storm.”

His eyes fell to hers and looking down at her he did feel like they were back in that closet feeling and hearing the world shattering all around them but not caring because in each others arms they had found a hope of tomorrow.

Each sway of his hand was just as careful then as it was years ago, and instead of his lips falling across her bruises, they fell across the barely there battle scars across her stomach.

“I love this fire,” he said as his lips slid across her chest and he felt the heat of her skin chasing him.

A breath later he was seated deep inside and only his kiss held her cry of passion at bay.

“My Justice,” he breathed, as he moved even deeper.

He was home...

***

If Justice had learned to do or be anything as she spent time with the Rawlings it was to become bold and brave. Which is what she embodied as all of Declan’s brothers, his grandparents, and his father each pulled up at seven the next morning.

Bell and Justice had been in the kitchen for an hour already making a breakfast feast. Declan was sound asleep upstairs, little Nolan a few feet away in his bassinette.

When they all came in they were not loud or rambunctious the way they always were. Their steps were quiet and their words were a whisper. Most of them had dealt with their grief in one way or another over the years, and the letters had walked them down the same path months before but now it was final—Nolan’s funeral had finally come.

Most everyone was settled around the table, or where they wanted to stand and pace. Justice was on her way to wake Declan when she heard him from around the corner. “Babe, you’re going to have to check this. I don’t know if I got it right.” She could hear the laugh in his voice. “Looks right to us, though, right boss. Oorah...”