Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(39)

So she’d smiled at Atticus and told him she was fine, hugged him, then walked away. That was early that morning.

Since then, she had reapplied makeup three times over and avoided every stare Tobias, Boon, and Atticus had given her.

And now, here she was, face to face with the leader of the pack, their father, Chasen Rawlings.

“I’d ask how you were holding up,” Chasen said, his gaze moving right to her cheek. “But that would be foolish small talk you don’t need.”

Justice wanted to look away from him, needed to. But couldn’t.

“I’m going to ask you if you’re all right, and you’re going to nod if you are, and stare me down if you are not.”

She stared, the seconds ticked on and on, then Murdock opened the back door to the home. He didn’t say anything, he just looked over Chasen carefully, almost fearfully then stepped inside, but kept his stare on Justice through the window.

Hesitantly, she nodded. Then walked away from Chasen.

“Justice,” he said. She glanced back. “We’re here.”

“I like that,” she said honestly, before dropping her gaze once more and going back in.

Weeks and weeks passed, Murdock had all but moved into Justice and Bell’s home. Finally, Bell put her foot down, said it was inappropriate. Murdock needed to be with his family, and Justice needed time alone. She chose to say as much to Mary Souter in front of several of her friends. Of course she didn’t say ‘inappropriate’ she said ‘it’s time to give Justice a sense of normalcy and privacy, which is hard to do with a constant houseguest.’

He was angry, but Murdock hadn’t stayed a night on her couch since. However, it didn’t stop him from spending time with Justice. He took her to work, and he picked her up. If she did meet up with friends, he was there.

Most times she didn’t mind it much. She struggled to seem balanced and not like she was still traumatized from the ‘accident.’ Murdock was good at calming her down, or at least taking her hands when they’d fidgeted, or wrapping his leg around hers if she shook her legs too much or even pulling her out of a crowd if her stare became a bit too cagy.

From the outside looking in, Justice was sure they looked like a young couple bound by a hell they’d survived. Not like two souls who shared a deadly secret, one where the risk and level of crime seemed to grow with each day.

The ‘accident’ had left her on edge, but him more so at times. The littlest things would upset him, bring out agitation she had never seen in Murdock before. He now hated the batting cage. He hated driving at night. He’d speed up just so none was close to him on the long back highways.

A few times he had completely lost his cool—and so had she. The pair of them would end up in a screaming match, one she always lost because she would finch in the middle of it. Showing weakness gave him every reason to pull her to him, and sway her. “I’m just so worried about you. I’m spying on my dad, his friends. The case is still on his desk, even though they closed it officially. I don’t know what he’s doing and we’re both too deep into this now.” He’d sway her more, brush his lips across her brow. “I didn’t mean to yell, I swear. We just have to stick together through this.”

Murdock claimed they were too deep the second Bell and Justice used the ‘fund me’ account to pay for the burial. He told her fraud could be strapped to her then. And when the life insurance check came it would be even worse.

Justice was used to living with a reasonable degree of anxiety, or well, a reasonable amount for a girl who was abused, but now she lived with entirely too much.

Her mother not coming back for the funeral, even to check on Justice, and barely returning her calls made it all the worse. At night Justice would lay in bed and replay the fight. Looking for a new way out and ending up sick in the bathroom every time.

Bell never asked for a play by play, not even when Murdock actually went home, but she had gathered what had occurred. “Did he tell you why? Murdock covering this up—the risk...I don’t know that it makes much sense.”

In all truth, Bell would have expected a Rawlings to cover-up and defend Justice, not a Souter. A Rawlings would have carried their secret to the grave and been prepared for any backlash. A Souter? Murdock? That kid was too worried about his own self. And there was no way he was in love with Justice. He didn’t even try to act like it. She was merely property, a status symbol to him.

To a Souter when property is damaged, it’s discarded. When a status symbol is harmed, it’s covered up.

“Said I’d be in trouble.” She looked right at her grandmother. “He said daddy knew I was with Declan, and could’ve told the Sheriff or others.” Her voice cracked as she went on. “He said Declan would get in trouble for it, too.”

Bell lifted her brow. She could see both the truth and the lie in the excuse. There was a good possibility her father did know. Brent had asked her why Justice was so down days before he died. But then again, there was the basic nature of the Souters, self first. Murdock defending Justice made no sense.

“What do we do?” Justice asked.

“Nothing,” Bell said. “You said more than you thought to the counselor. If it ever does get messy, we have a point to argue. Let your ghosts rest, child. Murdock has guilt in this now. He’ll hold your secret. And as soon as he believes you will too, he’ll be gone, on to someone or something else.”