Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(29)

Justice swallowed nervously as fire bloomed in her belly. In a small way she felt more humiliated than empowered after hearing his words. She’d shown him her wounds, something she never pointed out to anyone, and now he would always see those marks when he looked at her, when he thought of her.

No one had ever told her to defend herself. Her mother ran, and her grandparents prayed and told her a brighter day was coming. This was new, empowering, and she didn’t know how to process it so she simply nodded ever so slightly.

“Can I write you?” he asked abruptly.

Justice arched a brow in shock. She was starting to think she was still dreaming.

“You don’t have to write back, but yeah,” he said.

She nodded warily, knowing all this was going to do was stretch out this agony she was sick with.

Since she’d left his side, it felt like she was walking in a cloud of grief. A heavy feeling that drew out disdain she didn’t even know she had. Everything pushed her. She’d felt this feeling twice over and hated it, but the gift of the past was that it taught her what to expect today.

She could either choose to tell him no and slowly swim her way through her emotions back to reality, or she could live with the pain longer.

Declan Rawlings was worth the pain.

Her gut told her as much even though her mind and heart claimed she was a fool.

A ghost of a smile graced her lips as she nodded, then marveled at him when she saw him relax as if he had been holding his breath.

“Um,” she said, reaching for her bag and digging around. “Send it here,” she said writing down an address. “This is where my mom sends stuff.”

“Your mom?” he questioned. He had heard things about her, but not much past the part where she ditched her daughter and left her grandparents to fight for her safety.

Justice nodded like it was nothing, like she just didn’t tell him a secret he doubted many knew.

Still holding her stare, he took the paper carefully, purposely brushing against her hand before he glided it in his pocket.

Her gaze darted around the parking lot the first chance she had.

“Either you’re nervous or you’re looking for somebody.”

Both. “I didn’t want to be late.”

He furrowed his brow. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

She slid down when he went to step back, and shakily put her hand on his chest to stop him from walking away. “I knew seeing you would be hard, but if I had the chance I wanted it. Thanks for saying hi.”

Declan bit his lip trying to keep his pissed smirk as he glanced away. “Hi. Yeah, that makes sense.” He met her gaze sharply. “I should have at least said that much, huh.”

He was sure they had some kind of connection, a moment, and there she was with her thanks speech turning it into a casual f*ck. This was why he didn’t trust women, why he got what he wanted and left. No promises. No strings.

“Did anything happen the other night? Did you get heat for being with me?” he asked, glancing over her, looking for damage.

“Avoided the topic,” she said honestly.

“I didn’t want it to end that fast,” Declan quietly admitted.

She could only stare because she had no idea how to take him. His words were sweet but his tone was anything but.

In the next beat he was an inch from her face, the heat of his body was a breath from hers and she was sure she could feel a sharp current between them pulling them together with the weight of gravity.

“I hate this,” he breathed. His head tilted slightly so his gaze could slip down her neck to those dark blonde curls kissing her skin. “We’re bad,” he leaned in bit more, now his lips were brushing against her cheekbone. “Bad timing.”

She didn’t really hear a damn word he said, she was too focused on how close he was, the feel of his breath, then all at once she couldn’t deal any longer and turned sharply, catching the edge of her lips with the edge of his. In the same beat both his hands were on her face as he moved his lips just right, so he could devour the taste of her.

It was brief and short but strong and deep enough that Justice was sure she had been given the adrenaline rush of her life.

This kiss was a risk, out here in the open, just as the town was waking. There was no telling who could be out, glancing in their direction, or whose side of the Stouter and Rawlings’ feud their loyalties would rest.

Declan dropped his hands as his kiss left but he didn’t move back at first. “I’ll write.”

She nodded shakily and before she knew it he was gone from before her and across the lot, squealing his tires as he made it across the street to the diner.

There, Nolan climbed into the passenger seat, waving in her direction. Completely confused she watched them drive away then pulled her pre-paid phone out and check for a missed call from Nolan.

Nolan was the whole reason she had gotten her grandmother to drop her off an hour early for work. He told her he needed a favor, one she was nervous about, but willing to do.

All she could think now was he either changed his mind, or the favor was waiting on her in the diner.

***

A half block away, Murdock Souter was sitting in the shadows of a screened in porch on a lime green vinyl couch, trembling with rage.

Moments before he had staggered to the bathroom, still feeling wasted from the night before, twisted and sick. His glazed eyes stared out the window as he unloaded his bladder, and as he did he saw Declan Rawlings’s truck across the way.