Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(25)
“Melodramatic? Fuck you. If anyone is acting like a girl, it’s you!”
“A girl! You mean because I don’t see the need to sign away four years—more than likely more—of my life? Because I don’t want to fight for something I’m not sure of?”
“Now you have an issue with the Marines? Let me tell you, f*cker, if you do, you’re in the wrong f*cking family.”
“Not the soldier,” Nolan spat. “The suit signing the orders like casualties ain’t shit. I have an issue with the fact that no matter when the contract is up I will never be out. I have an issue with losing a part of myself, a friend or two.”
Declan nodded. “You sure as f*ck won’t be saving any lives either.”
Nolan shook his head as a pissed smirk came to him. “I’m with you, brother. It’s all about making a difference, to stand because you are able, because the weak need you to. It’s just not me.” He put his hands on his hips and swayed his head before staring into the distance. “You were born yelling semper fi to the Marines. And I was born fighting for life, wanting to live it. And right now that’s what we’re doing, like it or not.”
The pause was cold and tense and when Declan didn’t say anything Nolan went on. “School isn’t me either. I’m going to end up running daddy’s bar, gramps’ garage, or even the construction crap Tobias is talking about. I’ll marry some girl and have a mess of hellions and be the happiest son of a bitch you’ll ever meet. But right now, I’m getting out. I’m going to go and see this country my family has fought for. Every stitch of it. I’m going to put my foot on every continent and soak in the fact that I’m alive, that I can do so, because of men like you. That’s my way.” Nolan sighed. “I got enough cash with all the graduation shit to make it a good two years. To half the places I want to see. Along the way, I’ll work some more, pick up a job or two. Make a friend. And then when it’s done, I’m home.”
Declan shook his head.
“I wanted you with me.” A pained grin came to Nolan. “We would’ve had a time.”
Declan dipped his head then looked in the other direction, unable to meet his eyes. “I just need to do this first. Then...then me and you will take a trip or two.” He grinned. “Then we’ll run this town.”
Nolan rocked back on his heels. “You’re coming back?” He didn’t mean for his voice to crack, but it did.
“Anything is possible,” Declan said at length, his thoughts going where they didn’t need to go, to Justice Rose.
Reading Declan like any other time Nolan spoke up. “Daddy was on point—right girl, wrong time.”
Declan glanced to him, not surprised Nolan had overheard their dad.
“The ‘take’ was there so you would not break her. And you will, Declan. You push away anything that’s not black and white, what you don’t get.” He stared Declan down. “I don’t know if this deal with the Marines is gonna help you with that or make it worse, but there was no sense in her handling you right now.”
“Right,” Declan said.
“Right, then. My ‘take’ is back in place until I say otherwise. I will kick your ass, somehow, someway, if you break it again.” He grinned when Declan glared. “What? I know people.” He lifted his brow. “You can’t fight us all.”
“Depends on what we’re fighting about,” Declan said, tossing his bag in the back of his own truck then making his way to the passenger side of Nolan’s and slamming the door shut.
He was pissed because Nolan was right and he was pissed that he would need someone like Nolan, who knew him better than his own self, to tell him when he was right for his rose.
When Nolan finally got in they made their rounds, telling everyone bye, which sucked because even when Nolan was staring his grandmother in the eye, he made no effort to discount the assumption he was going anywhere but with Declan.
Nash Rawlings, their grandfather, had the same knowing remarks, doors wide open for Nolan to fess up, but he didn’t. However, Nolan had no issue taking the extra cash Nash slid in his hand.
On the way back to their place hours later Declan spouted, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to have all your money on you.”
“Gotta account,” he said, reaching over and tapping the glove box and handing Declan a stack of deposit slips. “You know, in case you want to contribute to the ‘free love’ tour.”
“Contribute? I’m your only sponsor.”
“You’re my only aware sponsor,” Nolan said, pointing at him.
“I don’t like it. I got a bad feeling.”
“I know you’re going to miss me because I’m adorable, but there comes a time when you’re gonna have to walk your own path,” Nolan teased in the most sarcastic tone he could manage.
“It’s more than that and you know it. The whole time I’m home after camp is going to be a shit storm because everyone is going to give me hell about covering for you. We won’t live this down until the day we die.”
“True enough.”
Declan raised his hands in a pissed gesture.
“Relax, they know.”
“I’m sure they do, but that is not the point. The point is you didn’t tell them. And you pushed my loyalty button so I couldn’t and now here we are. All you gotta do is say it, they will give you shit but it’s not like they’re going to stop you.”