Dear Life(54)

“Do you want me to flirt with you?” I answer with a question, because confirming my actions seems too forward at the moment. “Let me guess, you don’t like broken faces flirting with the likes of you.”

She chuckles, and the almost-terrified look on her face vanishes, the smile I crave more than anything replacing it. “Broken faces need love too on occasion.”

“Yeah?” I wiggle my eyebrows at her only to gather a palm to the face.

“Get out of here with that.” Her head still resting on my arm, she continues, “Are you going to tell me what’s got your liver quivering? Or are you going to keep cowering in the corner about it?”

“Bedside manner, might want to work on it.” She shrugs and waits for me to answer. Yeah, I knew this was coming at some point; she wasn’t going to let me drink and not say anything. That sixth shot is looking good right about now.

Where do I even start? How does someone talk about their baby mama drama that goes way past who’s going to pay child support? This is the kind of drama that can ruin a person, and not just me. This is the kind of news that will destroy June and Alex.

Fuck, just thinking about the look on their faces is obliterating me from the inside out.

“Jace, just get it out.”

I nod, trying to find the right words. I run my spare hand over my face and blow out a long breath as I tilt my head back to look at the ceiling. Staring at something inanimate will be a hell of a lot better than seeing Hollyn’s reaction. “Rebecca came by my place today.”

“Who’s Rebecca?”

“Hope’s birth mom.”

“Oh God.” Hollyn sits up and scoots closer. With her hand, she forces me to look at her, concern lacing her eyes. “What did she want?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I do. Was it money? I hope you didn’t give her any.”

“Ha.” A sardonic laugh escapes me. If only. “I wish it was money she wanted.”

“Oh no . . .” her voice trails off.

“Yeah, she wants Hope back.”

“What? Are you kidding me? Can she do that?”

“I have no clue. I talked to Matt today about setting up a meeting with the team’s lawyer and mine to go over all the legal bullshit involved in adoption.”

“How can she even justify wanting Hope back? Didn’t she sign her rights away?”

“She did.” I nod, my chest growing tighter and tighter by the minute, sobriety eclipsing both of us due to the heaviness of the conversation. Yup, shot number six would have been a very good idea. “Funny thing about the law, it’s pro family most of the time, meaning justice is often in favor of the birth mom.”

“I don’t understand. She can’t just ask for her back. She gave her away.”

I shake my head. “No, I gave her away.” And that’s where the problem lies.

“What do you mean?”

Blowing out another long breath, I try to steady my voice, anger, guilt, and anxiety making it sound rickety and uneasy. “When Rebecca came to me about three months ago, she said she wanted me to take the baby because she couldn’t handle it. I took that as Hope was my responsibility. When Rebecca signed the rights away to being a parent, she thought she was just signing them so she didn’t have any legal obligations to me. At the time, she wasn’t aware I was giving the baby up for adoption, meaning, she technically didn’t agree with the decision.”

“But she signed the papers.”

“Under false pretenses according to her.”

Hollyn goes to respond just as my phone rings. Giving her an apologetic look, I glance at the caller ID and see June’s name come across the screen. Fuck.

Instantly my body stiffens, my heart pounding, I feel the urge to throw up.

With a shaky hand, I stand and answer the phone on a squeak. “Hey, June.”

“Jace?” Her voice quivers. She knows, there is no denying it. Fuck! “Is it, is it true?”

Taking a calming breath, my legs feeling like they are going to break beneath me, I ask, “What has been told to you?”

“That Hope’s birth mom was unaware of the adoption and plans on taking legal action to get Hope back.”

Yup, that’s the gist of it. Shit.

Her sobs break me half.

“Can she . . . can she do that, Jace? Can she take her away? I can’t lose her, Jace. It will destroy me; it will destroy Alex. This is something we won’t be able to bounce back from.”

I’m going to fucking lose it. Right here, with Hollyn in my home and June on the phone. Regret settles deep in my belly, regret for not making sure Rebecca knew my plans, regret for not checking all the boxes before I matched Hope, regret for being so hasty about having lawyers involved. This is all my fucking fault. Why hadn’t I been advised about this? Perhaps I should have been more clear, but at that moment in time, when deciding who to give my baby to, being clear to Rebecca wasn’t even on my mind. Now I wish it was.

I pace the living room, pulling on the ends of my hair. “I’m not sure, June. I’m meeting with my lawyers tomorrow. We are going to figure this out. I promise.”

“But what if she can have Hope back? What if she really isn’t ours?”

“That’s not going to happen,” I say with a choked-up throat. “I’m not going to let that fucking happen. Do you hear me? I will fight this until the very end.” Tears fill my eyes and rip down my cheeks, my voice tight as I speak. “Hope is your baby, June, and I will be damned if it goes any other way.”