Dear Aaron(55)

Knowing my luck, I’d jinxed myself by just thinking about it, but I shoved that possibility to the back of my mind for later.

I had more important things to think about. Like Aaron messaging me after weeks. Like he’d said he would. After I pretty much told him I was sending him hugs and kisses like a stalker.

Since talking to my sisters about it, I’d wondered if I was overthinking it. Maybe he hadn’t even read it? Or if he had read it, he didn’t take it to mean I was ready to have his babies or was secretly in love with him and playing it cool. I told myself not to linger over not hearing from him for weeks; I’d heard about the layovers the soldiers faced when they were flying back from overseas deployments. It wasn’t like they had nonstop flights. When I wasn’t telling myself not to overthink our last IM session and worry I’d never hear from him again, I told myself that if I never heard from him again, I would be fine.

But every time I thought of never hearing from him, it made my heart ache a little. More than a little. It made me feel like I had indigestion, and I’ve never had indigestion.

But I’d understand if he never contacted me again.

I would.

My sister Jasmine was a different person when she was in the middle of training for a competition coming up. Every aspect of her life changed during those periods. If he didn’t have time to be my friend once his life was back to normal on base in the States, I couldn’t hold it against him. Time was something you couldn’t just give out freely. It was precious.

So when AHALL80 flashed across my cell phone screen again with (2) next to his name, my heart practically did a shimmy I hadn’t felt since…

I wasn’t going to think about it.

I’d been worried about him. He’d been flying across an ocean. There was nothing off about being happy your friend was okay.

And that was what I was going to keep telling myself.

Forever.

Because that was all I was ever going to have, and I just needed to live with it like I’d been doing.

Setting aside my scissors and the pile of banana print I’d just finished with, I unlocked the screen and tapped on the notification icon, ignoring the spike of excitement and relief at his name on my screen.

I had this. I had this. He wouldn’t be writing me if I’d done irreparable damage to our friendship.

And that was another thing I was going to keep telling myself.



June 10, 2009

7:49 p.m.

AHall80: Hey

AHall80: I’m alive RubyMars: Is it really you?

AHall80: Heh. Yeah.

AHall80: Hey

RubyMars: You hey.

AHall80: I made it back.

RubyMars: I’d hoped so. :) How was the flight and everything?

AHall80: Shit, but the thirteen hours I was stuck in Baghdad was worth it. I’m here, I don’t care.

RubyMars: That’s the spirit.

RubyMars: Did you have your beer and pizza already?

AHall80: Yeah, a few of us went out to eat right after the ceremony.

RubyMars: There’s a ceremony? I don’t remember that.

RubyMars: How many beers did you have?

RubyMars: Judgment-free zone, remember?

AHall80: After the plane landed. I only had two beers… didn’t want to go too crazy after so long.

RubyMars: Did you have a pepperoni pizza?

AHall80: Megaroni AHall80: Deep dish

RubyMars: Party animal AHall80: Baller RubyMars: Lol.

RubyMars: Please tell me you had a hot shower already.

AHall80: ….

AHall80: Ruby

AHall80: Yes.

AHall80: Finished reintegration today and my friend took me to get a new phone since my truck isn’t here.

RubyMars: What did you do to the phone you had before you left?

AHall80: Canceled the service since I was leaving. No point in keeping it. Sold my phone too.

AHall80: I don’t care about having a new number. Nobody’s calling me anyway.

RubyMars: Are you messaging me on it right now?

AHall80: Nah, just got a cheapo phone. Don’t need anything fancy. I bought a new laptop. That’s what I’m on.

RubyMars: You sold your laptop too?

AHall80: Mine broke before I even deployed. Didn’t bother getting another one because the sand gets into everything. That’s why I’d message you from a computer on base.

AHall80: Got some clothes and other shit while we were out. I’m leaving for Shreveport tomorrow.

RubyMars: Are you excited?

AHall80: Yeah

RubyMars: I’m so happy for you. I’m glad you’re back.

AHall80: Me too

AHall80: How you been?

AHall80: I wanted to msg you sooner, but couldn’t because of the phone and laptop situation.

RubyMars: Good. Fine. Everything is good.

AHall80: Got more work?

RubyMars: Some. I’m doing okay on money, but I need more work. I’m not freaking out yet. You’d be proud of how well I’m handling it.

AHall80: You’ll be all right, Rube

RubyMars: :) AHall80: Gone on another date?

RubyMars: Yeah

AHall80: So?

RubyMars: It was okay.

AHall80: With?

RubyMars: Someone else. This other guy I went on a date with like a year ago.

RubyMars: Before we became friends.

AHall80: How’d that work?