Darker Days (The Darker Agency #1)(62)

I opened my mouth to tell him I agreed, that he was meant to be here. Now. With me. But he kept talking.

“But I’m not a killer—please don’t ask me to be. A good man wouldn’t sacrifice others to get what he wanted.” His expression darkened. “No matter how badly he wanted it.”

He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than me.

I remembered what he’d said in the woods by the train tracks. “Maybe it’s my penance. Eternity in the box. I made mistakes—we all do—and maybe this is my punishment. My destiny. To hold Wrath in my heart so no one else has to.”

“Meredith said something at school today. About how she was only able to do what she did because you were viable. What happened, Lukas? What did you do?”

He let go of my chin and pulled away. I wanted to drag his hand back, but I resisted, instead focusing on the sound of his voice.

“She’s right. I was very angry.”

“What were you angry about?”

There was a spark of red in his eyes. A flash. There and gone in an instant. “My father was not the noble gentleman the public knew and loved. He was a monster. Violent and cruel.”

“You hated him.”

Lukas laughed. “I didn’t only hate him, I wanted him dead.” He sighed. “He ruled our home with an iron fist. Treated my mother like a servant rather than a wife.”

I remembered his reaction when he found me in the woods. The spark of rage in his eyes as he told Garrett not to hurt me. He’s a monster! He’d been taking out his anger over his dad on Garrett.

“He hit her,” I whispered.

“I’d had enough of his treatment. Of her—and of me. The night after I found Meredith with the farmer’s son, I confronted my father. I was erratic. Confused. I removed my mother from the house and promised to return to finish him off. I meant it. I would have but—”

“But Meredith got in the way.”

He nodded. “Only hours after I secured my mother at the home of her sister, Meredith found me. Knowing what I know now, I understand it all. You see, it was she who pushed me—the day prior—to take action against my father. I suppose she set me up from the start.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a place like that. How scared he must have been as a child.

“I deserved what I got,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Had he been alive when I was released in 1910, I would have killed him without a second thought. Even after all those years, I wanted him dead. It was the first thing I thought of when my feet hit solid ground. First him, then Meredith.”

I took his hand. “That doesn’t make you evil. It makes you human.”

“I was a monster. Just like him.”

There was no point in arguing with him because he believed without a doubt that he belonged in that box. Nothing I could say would absolve him of that.

“Then we do belong together,” I whispered, leaning closer. “Because I’m part monster, too.”

I’d heard it a million times. Whether we like it or not, we all become our parents. Mostly, that had never bothered me. My mom was beautiful and smart. She could kick ass like no one else I’d ever known. She was brave and witty and good-hearted. Did I want to grow up to be just like her? Sure I did. Except for one tiny little thing. I wanted to learn from her mistake. Mistake. Just one. A single decision that had resulted in a lifetime of pain and longing.

All or nothing—I guessed it was true. Other than my sometimes questionable methods and slightly screwed morals—which I was convinced came from Dad’s side—I’d become my mother.

In every way.

“I want you to stay,” I whispered. Something warm trailed down the side of my cheek. A tear.

We’d only met days ago, but somehow it felt like I’d known him so much longer than that. He’d seen me at my strongest—and my weakest—and wasn’t bothered by it. He was the first person aside from Mom that it felt okay to be normal Jessie around. Normal Jessie who was one hell of a monster masher—as well as a teenage girl.

He leaned in again, forehead resting up against mine. “My whole life, I was waiting. I didn’t know what for, only that I hadn’t found it. Then I find you—a hundred years later and waiting for me.”

He let go of a bitter laugh and I sighed. “Shame I wasn’t born a little earlier, huh?”

His hands slid over my cheeks and tangled into my hair. “Or I a bit later.”

Our lips met, and for a few blissful minutes, the painful goodbye looming overhead disappeared.





Chapter Twenty-four




One day left…

The first thing I heard when I woke the next morning was screaming. Cursing, actually. Words that would make any self-respecting biker do a double take. It wasn’t a voice I recognized, so I assumed Mom’s Gluttony hunt had been successful. Two down. Four to go.

The next thing I realized was that I wasn’t in bed.

Sleepwalking again. It had to be the stress of everything going on. This time, I’d ended up cramped in the hollow under my desk. Uncurling myself, I pushed aside the chair and crawled free.

In my absence, Smokey had taken advantage of the empty bed. More accurately, my pillow. If I found a trail of demon dog slime anywhere near it, it was all over for him. I pulled up on the covers, shaking the bed and jarring him awake. He glared at me, barked twice, then disappeared in a puff of stinky black smoke. Off to do whatever it was he did all day, no doubt. I’d given up on trying to get rid of him. And he’d come in handy several times. Besides, I was kind of getting used to having him around.