Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys #4)(35)

“Please… please…” I begged, shuddering against his chest.

I wanted something, anything, to keep me from feeling the emotions that were dragging me down, deeper and deeper into the pits of Hell.

Standing right by my uncle.

Where a part of me knew I belonged.

“What can I do?” he commiserated, pulling back, placing his warm hands on either side of my face, to look deep into my eyes. “Tell me, what I can f*cking do and I will do it, Briggs. For you.”

It was the first time he ever called me that and I would be lying if I said I didn’t yearn to hear him say Daisy.

I blinked away my tears, swallowing back the sobs to gaze at the only man who has ever given a damn about me. The only man who had ever been my friend, my protector, my confidant, my everything.

He was all I’d ever known.

“I want to be the hero of my own story, Esteban. I crave to feel what they feel even for just a night, and you're the closest person who resembles affection in my life,” I half-whispered.

I leaned in on pure impulse and looked into his vacant eyes, searching for something. I felt him lightly gasp before I brushed my lips against his, kissing him. My inexperienced lips moved against his for a few seconds before he finally started to kiss me back. It was the first time I had ever kissed anyone. It felt different than I had imagined it would, a sensation like nothing I could ever describe and for a few fleeting moments it took away the pain in my heart.

He shook his head, pulling away from me, pushing me back and I whimpered at the loss of his lips.

“We can’t do this.”

“You want to make this better? Me better? I need you to take away the bad, silence the chaos in my head. Please…”

His conflicted stare never left mine as I reached for his shirt. He didn’t say a word or move a muscle when I started unbuttoning it one by one until it was fully open. I took in his hard naked chest for the first time, the contours of his abs, his tan skin that was so much darker than my white complexion.

I reached for the bottom of my tank top and his hand instantly stopped me.

“Daisy,” he warned in a voice I didn’t recognize.

“I know… this doesn’t change anything. I’m not looking for you to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, Esteban. I don’t need you to make love to me. I know where we stand. I just need this from you right now.”

It’s never this hard for the heroines in my books. They make it seem so easy.

Am I wrong? Is this a mistake? Am I going to regret this?

I closed my eyes and pulled my tank top over my head, before either of us gave what I’d just said anymore thought. Tossing it aside, I felt a chill on my bare breasts. I reached for my cotton shorts and slid them down with my panties, flinging them both aside as well.

When I was fully undressed, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I would never forget the look on his face for as long as I lived. It was the first time anyone had ever looked at me like that.

“You’re beautiful,” he coaxed with hooded eyes and a sad smile.

I blushed, not used to the praise. I could sense his resolve as his eyes took me in. I could feel his thoughts raging a war in his mind, so I leaned in again before he could give it anymore thought. Taking away the need to feel anything other than what was wreaking havoc on my soul.

I leaned back against the bed, bringing him with me. My hands pressed against his chest when I felt his weight on top of me. I ignored the smell and taste of alcohol that radiated off his breath, knowing that it was impairing his decision between right and wrong.

I wanted this.

I needed this.

It was wrong, but it didn’t matter because in that moment it felt right, and that’s all that mattered to me.

We kissed and touched each other, getting lost in the moment, getting caught up in the way we were making each other feel. His hands were everywhere and all at once, like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch me the most. I sought comfort in the false illusion he was letting me have, and reality hit the second I felt his dick at my entrance. It all became clear that this was really happening.

And I welcomed it with open arms.

He leaned his forehead against mine and groaned, “Are you sure? This is what you want?”

I smiled against his lips, nodding. Kissing him hard once again. He thrust in slowly, and carefully, knowing that this was my first time. I held back the urge to whimper, not wanting him to stop but to keep going and make me feel the promises of what his hands already brought me.

When he was fully inside of me, he let out a deep, long breath. “Are you okay?” he murmured in between kissing me.

I nodded again, not being able to form the words for what I was thinking, let alone feeling. The sounds of our bodies coming together echoed in the room, filling the silent void. Once the stinging diminished, a new bubbling feeling crept into my lower abdomen.

I moaned and my head fell back, allowing him to kiss, lick, and suck.

His hand reached down between us to touch me and I swear I thought I was going to die.

Right then and there.

“Oh my God,” I panted.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

The way his thrusts devoured me, the way his fingers played with me, the way his kisses consumed me, was far too much for me to control. The room started to spin and my breathing faltered. I felt like I was coming apart and being ripped open all at the same time, barely being able to control my movements, let alone my breathing.