Conviction(78)

I’ve never been touched there, like that, but my orgasm was instant and intense. Conner is now adamant that we need to seriously consider me giving up my anal virginity to him, sometime in the very near future.

I feel the heat rise to my cheeks as my mother drones on and on whilst I almost come on the spot thinking about Conner Reed and his amazing tongue, mouth, lips, fingers and dick.

Despite her huge disappointment in me as a daughter, and a human being in general, my mother is obviously impressed with my hairdressing skills and leaves the salon, reasonably happy and without offering to pay a penny. She doesn’t even leave a tip for the poor apprentice.

I have thirty minutes until I have to meet Marcus and as I step into mine and Sophie’s office, she passes me a glass of wine.

“Your mother’s a cunt. Sorry, but I just needed to put that out there.” I chuckle at the truth of Sophie’s words.

“Na,” I tell her, “cunts are useful. Whereas my mother, well, she’s just—”

“A cunt,” Sophie and I say together, bursting into a fit of laughter.

By the time I walk over to the park to meet Marcus, I’ve had three glasses of wine and nothing to eat. I feel more than a little intoxicated. I sit on the bench facing the gate so I can see when he enters. Despite it being late July, the day is grey, overcast and a little bit chilly. The instant Marcus appears, I shiver.

Marcus isn’t ugly, not by any means and if I didn’t know his personality or lack of, I would definitely look twice and think phwoar. Especially right now, dressed in a light grey suit and pale blue shirt and tie that match his eyes perfectly. His blond hair is over-styled though. It’s in need of a cut and he’s put too much product in to try and hold it in place.

My wine addled thoughts wander and before I’ve noticed, he’s standing in front of me.

“Nina. I’ve missed you, baby. How are you?” He reaches for my hand, which I refuse and instead look at him like I think he’s insane. I watch as a nerve twitches in his jaw. Something that I know happens when he’s pissed off.

“What’s so important that we had to meet in person, Marcus? I’ve really got nothing to say to you.”

I’m suddenly feeling angry. Pissed off with the way the path of my life has been twisted and turned to suit other people. Pissed off with myself for being so weak and staying in a loveless, sexless marriage for so long.

Now I’m with Conner, it’s opened my eyes up to how it should be. We talk. Conner and I, we talk and talk for hours on end, about everything and nothing. We make love on a whim. He makes me feel desired, wanted, needed. He makes me feel valued, that what I have to say and my opinions are important. I know it’s still early days, but I never experienced any of these things with Marcus. Not even in the beginning, and even though I didn’t have Conner back then, I still should’ve ended my sham of a marriage sooner, for both our sakes.

“I wanted to see you, Nina. I’m really missing you,” he says, sitting down on the bench next to me.

“Why Marcus? What exactly is it you’re missing about me?” I stare straight ahead as I speak. Despite the grey skies, I’ve kept my sunglasses covering my eyes. They’re probably a little glassy looking and I don’t want him to know that I’ve had a drink this early in the day. I want him to think that my new found confidence and bravery is my own doing and not alcohol induced.

“What do you mean, what do I miss? I miss everything. I miss you being a part of my life, Nina. You’re my wife, your place is with me.”

I finally turn and look at him.

“I’m soon to be your ex-wife and I really don’t see what difference it makes to your life not having me around has made. You were hardly ever home anyway and when you were, you never paid me much attention. My thoughts and opinions were never sought, my attendance in your life rarely required. We didn’t even have a sex life to fall back on. So tell me, what is it exactly that you miss? Someone to belittle, someone to judge, or just someone to ignore?”

What the f*cking f*ck? I have no idea where all of that just came from, but yeah, go me.

“I gave you everything, Nina, f*cking everything. We have a beautiful home together, holidays to the best places. You didn’t even have to work if you didn’t want to.” He pushes his own glasses to the top of his head and looks down at me with his cold, unfeeling eyes. “I picked you up from the gutter. You were the slutty little hairdresser that got knocked up and abandoned by a junky convict when she was just sixteen. I f*cking made you what you are today.”

I can barely contain my anger. I want to kick, punch and scream at him, but despite the wine in my bloodstream I remain calm on the outside and think carefully about what I’m going to say. Marcus has always thought he was better than me, his university education making him think that he was intellectually and articulately superior.

“You know what Marcus? You should’ve left me in that gutter… because I was far happier there than I ever was being married to you… and FYI, I was never abandoned by anyone. My brother’s lies and deceit kept Conner and me apart and it was also his tenacious blackmailing skills, which forced me into marrying you in the first place.”

The twitch in his jaw goes into overdrive. He looks me over like I’m shit on his shoe.

“You think you’ve got it all worked out, don’t you Nina?” he sneers. Giving me his most insincere smile yet.