Consolation Prize (Forbidden Men #9)(129)

“I’m sorry,” I said, wishing I could take away his anguish.

He blinked at me as if he couldn’t believe I would ever say that to him. “You’re sorry?” he spat incredulously. “You don’t have a single thing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ve been sitting here, whining about how scared I’ve been when you’re the one who just went through hell and back, and it was my fault he chose you. He—”

“How was that your fault?” I shook my head, confused.

“You told me to walk away that night.” Grief filled his face. “When I got into the fight with him.” He motioned to his black eye to remind me. “You told me to let it go. But I didn’t. And he ended up going to jail because I wouldn’t leave when you suggested it. And when he got out, he went after you because of me.”

“Colton, baby.” I stroked his newly roughened cheek gently. “Stop being a dumbass. He chose me because he was a racist son of a bitch who let his misery morph into hatred. He was just looking for a reason to snap. It was going to happen whether he ever met us or not. He was going to take some girl no matter what.”

He shook his head and huffed out a quiet sound of disagreement. “That’s what your dad said. But I still can’t help wishing he had taken someone else.”

My smile was full of agony. “Me too.”

As I watched him wipe his eyes, the last few days hit me all over again like a lead anvil.

“I can’t believe I...” A numb kind of shock filled me and I looked up at the ceiling, not sure what to feel. “I killed someone,” I stated aloud as if I needed to hear the words to really experience them. Never in my life had I thought I’d ever have the need or ability to murder. And yet I had.

It felt so unreal. When it finally hit me—I mean, really sank in—that I’d taken someone’s life, I was probably going to need a lot of therapy.

Colton began to stroke my arm. “I hate, absolutely hate, that you had to do that, but I’m glad you did. I’m glad you did whatever you had to do to stay alive, so you could make it back to me again, because the truth is, I’m not even remotely equipped to live without you right now.”

“But—” I started.

“No buts.” He set his fingers to my lips. “You did your part to make it back to me, now it’s my turn to step up to the plate and keep you here. I’m going to help you deal with this and get past it. We’re a team, remember. We’ll figure everything out together.”

“Okay,” I whispered. And for me, that was enough. It was everything I needed. “Thank you.”





Three Weeks Later



I woke with my nose pressed against Colton’s neck and my legs entwined with his. I’d been sleeping on top of him like this every night for the last week. Since I was a stomach sleeper and he was a back sleeper, it actually worked out better than you’d think. And believe it or not, he was way more comfortable than my mattress.

He’d stayed with me since I’d been discharged from the hospital. I’d had a couple nightmares but nothing as bad as what I’d had as a kid. My dream catcher, rabbit’s foot, monster repellent, and Colton himself had helped keep most of them at bay.

Today was a big day. I planned to return to college classes for the first time since the incident.

I liked thinking of it as the incident. It sounded a lot better than it really had been.

Glancing at the time, I realized I was up five minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. I think my body was trying to tell me it was ready to return to some normal activities again.

I’d tried to convince Pick I was ready to get back to work too, but he told me he wouldn’t even consider it until the six-week mark. I was on paid leave until then, he insisted. Secretly, I had to admit, it was nice not to have to deal with bartending quite yet. It left me more time to spend with Colton.

Speaking of my aggravating boyfriend…

He’d tried to enact a break from sex too. He thought I needed a month at least for all my wounds to heal. But all my bruises had faded, my cuts and abrasions had scabbed closed, and my temperature was back to normal. I was one hundred percent healthy. Physically anyway. Mentally, I was still somewhat of a head case. I hated how clingy I’d become, not that Colton seemed to mind. I swear, the jerk actually ate up how close to him I had to be every time we left the apartment. He’d smile at me with that smug satisfaction of a man who knew he had his woman wrapped completely around his finger.

Really, it was too much.

Just not enough for me to stop relying on him so much just yet.

But today…today was a new day, and I was going to work on being a new, confident, self-sufficient woman. And I knew exactly how I was going to start.

This was how Julianna got her groove back.

Humming in my throat over how good my man smelled, I ran my nose up his throat and bent my knee, making sure my leg slid right over his cock as I did. And just as I planned, I felt him grow hard through his Jockey shorts. He groaned, stirring awake as I nipped his jaw with my teeth.

“Happy birthday, baby doll,” he murmured, still half out of it as his hand smoothed down my back to shape its way over my butt.

Oh, yeah. And today was my twenty-second birthday. Yet another reason I felt determined to make a new start.