Consolation Prize (Forbidden Men #9)(127)

Next came my family, who’d been anxiously hovering and waiting for their chance to check on me. They surged forward all at the same time.

“Are you okay?” Aspen asked, drawing me into a hug.

I hugged her back and admitted, “No. I don’t…I can’t stop thinking about what she told the police. I honestly don’t know how she survived.”

Her eyes filled with worry before she kissed my cheek and stood back to let Caroline hug me next. “Bubba. You got her back, just keep focusing on that.”

I nodded. “I’m trying.” But f*ck, after hearing what I’d just heard…I really wanted to hit something.

“Colton,” Brandt started, his gaze full of apology.

I lifted my hand. “Not now.”

“Give him some space,” Noel told Brandt as he patted my shoulder and nudged me to walk it off by myself down the hall.

Grateful for the moment alone, I began to walk, not paying attention to where I was going or even really caring. I just needed to move, to keep from thinking about—

Dammit. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

When I passed the hospital’s chapel and saw that it looked empty through the window, I ducked inside before slumping into a pew in the back and cradling my face in my hands as I rested my elbows on my knees.

It really didn’t help to clear my head. In fact, I think my brain only filled with more and more shit to bother me. My hands were shaking and my breathing was labored when the door behind me opened.

Julianna’s father took a pew seat in front of me, watching me closely.

I sent him a dark look, braced and almost eager for him to sling more shit my way. I deserved it. Craved it.

“Go ahead and say it,” I ordered.

But he only gave a heavy sigh before answering, “I don’t have anything to say. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Okay?” I snorted. “How the f*ck could I be okay? You heard her story. You heard who took her. You know why.”

He should hate me right now. This was all my fault.

“Yes,” he answered, calmly. “I heard her story and I know why she was taken.”

Then he’d better hate me.

But when he didn’t say any such thing, I grew irritable.

“You were right, you know,” I said. “I shouldn’t have ever been with her. Look what happened. He targeted her because of me because I was with her. I almost got her killed. She’s been traumatized. This is going to haunt her for the rest of her life. And that’s on me. If I’d just left her alone... Jesus,” I whispered, burying my face back into my hands, trying to hide from my shame.

I had ruined the most important person in my life.

Her father sat quietly until he was sure I was done talking. Then he heaved out another sigh and asked, “You about done being a drama queen yet?”

I lifted my face, frowning. “What?”

His brow went up. “Son, do you really know why I didn’t approve of you being with her?”

I blinked, confused. “Because I’m white,” I said slowly.

Except looking at his expression now, I suddenly wasn’t so sure.

He rolled his eyes. “Not even close. I’ve been around enough people, of all shapes and sizes and races to know better than that. At the end of the day, none of that matters. We’re all just people. We love. We hope. We fear. We hurt. The packaging on the outside is just that, pretty packaging to decorate the world and make it a beautiful, colorful, assorted place. It’s the gift inside that counts. And some people are going to misuse their gift, while some are going to enrich the lives of others and themselves with it. It didn’t matter to me how you were packaged, Colton.”

“Then...” I shook my head, unable to believe what I was hearing. “Why didn’t you like me?”

“I didn’t like you because my Juli Bug felt the need to hide her relationship with you from me. That told me there had to be something about you she thought I should condemn.”

“But she was only worried about the white thing,” I started, making him lift his hand and shake his head.

“I know, I know. I realize that now. And I’m sure that’s my fault. I took my work home with me too often. She no doubt heard me make some comments in the past that sounded pretty bad. My job is to hunt down instances where a minority has been mistreated. But I’ve also seen it happen the other way around. I’ve seen some awful things come from all kinds of people. It never fails to shock me how cruel the world can be.”

I glanced toward the direction of Julianna’s hospital room, where she currently slept, battered and bruised. “Yeah,” I said, feeling that kind of shock myself.

He smiled sadly and patted my shoulder. “But I’ve also seen some amazing things, some heart-touching things where two completely diverse groups have come together and made miracles happen. That’s what impresses me most, you know, when two complete opposites mix and create something grand together, using both of their unique backgrounds to accomplish one goal. And yet...”

He shook his head as if ashamed of himself. “That’s exactly what made me wary about you. You were too flashy. Everything I learned about you from watching your Vine channel and the salutatorian address that was posted on YouTube at your high school graduation, it all told me you didn’t mind being the center of attention.” Then he shrugged. “My Julianna dreads attention.”