Confessions of a Bad Boy(18)
I stand in front of his desk, one hand in my pocket, the other scratching my chin. I look casual on the outside, but on the inside I’m being torn apart by warring impulses. I’d heard about the retreat gatherings before, but always in the vague terms of an urban myth. The truth is, I didn’t think my career could get much bigger – not without a little nepotism. But this could change everything. And now that the opportunity is so close, and yet so far away…
“I won’t take no for an answer,” Robinson says, his voice a balance between threatening and jovial that I’ve never heard anyone else achieve. “This is the next step for you, Nate. You’ve achieved everything you’re ever going to achieve at this level. You’ve represented some of the most difficult, and brilliant, clients we have. You’ve solved many problems nobody at this agency could – including myself – and you’ve done it without making too many enemies, which is mightily impressive. Now it’s time you took on a new level of challenge. You’ve outgrown the business as you know it. It’s time for you to start making powerful decisions, instead of just following them. Eventually, it could be you behind this desk.”
I didn’t get where I am by being content, by thinking that I had enough. I never got anywhere by passing up chances that were risky, dangerous, or just couldn’t work. Right now I’m one of the most talented agents in my field, which for a lot of people would be a good time to hold steady, but for me only means that I’ve outgrown my field. I don’t want the corner office and the perks anymore – I want to be the guy who can give them out. The retreat could be the first step into something bigger than I ever imagined, where talent and hard work don’t even matter anymore, the aristocracy of Hollywood. Once you’re in, you’re a made man. Suddenly I feel like everything I’ve done up to this point has been kindergarten, and I’m finally ready for the real deal.
“Well, how can I refuse when you make a case like that? I’ll move some things around and see about making it happen. Thank you very much for the offer.” I start backing away, hoping he won’t notice I’ve made no mention of Tessa, who I imagine will be coming down with a severe but temporary illness of some kind this weekend.
“Good to hear,” Robinson growls cheerily. “I’ll have Chloe send you the details.”
“Thanks,” I say, exhaling with relief and turning around.
“Oh,” Robinson calls out after I take a few steps towards the door, “and don’t even think about coming without your wife – oop, sorry – fiancée.”
I freeze mid-step, then turn around with the slow, impending fear of a teller during a bank robbery. Time to think fast.
“Um…that’s going to be a bit of a problem. You see, she’s—”
“She’ll be fine,” Robinson interrupted. “The Napa retreat is always a family affair. There will be lots of spouses there for her to spend time with. The surroundings are beautiful, good food, good wine. So don’t worry about it.”
I scramble for an ironclad excuse as panic rises in my chest, but I’m coming up blank. “It’s not that…it’s just that I think she—”
“And the retreat is very much a chance for clients and peers to see your informal side. An opportunity to see the people behind the negotiations and business side of things. Without all the competitiveness and back-biting we unfortunately put up with in this—” Robinson’s phone rings loudly on his desk. He glances at it for half a second, holds his hand up as if I was the one talking, and answers it.
“Hello? Yes…of course!” He gives me an emphatic thumbs-up, a polite non-verbal translation of ‘we’re done here, so please leave now – and don’t dare ‘forget’ what you just agreed to.’
“…and then he asked what I would do to give the character a sense of integrity during the scene – you know, because it comes so shortly after the comedic exchange – and I didn’t even think about it, I was just ‘in the zone’ as you Yanks say, so I just stood up, and I started acting out exactly how I saw it going. You should have seen his face – Nate? Are you even listening to me?”
I look up from the bar as if waking from a dream.
“Yeah, shit. Sorry, Will. I’m just a little out of it today.”
He shifts a little in his stool to properly face me, takes a long draw of beer, and laughs a little to himself.
“I should have known something was wrong when you didn’t even look at that rather lovely trio in the corner there.”
I raise my eyes and look over to the other end of the empty bar. I catch the three young girls in business clothes looking in my direction, and when I return their gaze they quickly giggle and turn back to themselves shyly.
“Would you believe me if I told you I’m not interested today?”
“Not particularly,” Will responds, keeping his eyes fixed upon the women. “What’s the problem? Wait. Let me guess. You’ve suddenly seen the error of your ways and are experiencing the guilt of a thousand morning-afters at once.”
I sigh into my beer bottle.
“I’m supposed to go to a high-end retreat this weekend and schmooze with the company’s biggest players.”
“Great!”
“No ‘great,’ f*cking amazing. Imagine prom, graduation, your first blow job, and your first paycheck – combine them, and that’s the kind of breakthrough this weekend could be. If it goes well, I could be one of the biggest forces in Hollywood within a year.”