Cherished (Masters and Mercenaries #7.5)(52)

His hands became fists and he slammed them down on the bar, making the glasses jump. “Oh, for f*ck’s sake. Fine. I love you. I love you, Bridget. I’ll say it.”

She held her ground as he turned around, anger and frustration in his eyes. She was pissed off, too. “But you don’t mean it.”

He stalked toward her. “You only seem to give a shit about the words. It doesn’t matter to you that I’m willing to promise that I’ll be good to you and I’ll be faithful. All that matters is some words that anyone can say.”

Her whole body tensed. Now that she was in the moment, she didn’t want to be here, but it was something to be survived. She had to get through this so she could crawl into a cave and hide. “There is more to a relationship than being faithful, Will. There’s more to loving each other than duties and responsibilities. You can’t see that because you don’t want more from me. I’m not the woman for you. God, I wish I was but I’m not.”

“I have given you everything I have. I don’t know what more you want out of me. I don’t want to walk away. I don’t want any of this, and I damn sure don’t want to be the man who makes you cry. Tell me what you want me to do, Bridget.”

“I want you to go. I know it’s a horrible thing to do, but I want it to be over. I can’t do what you do. I can’t live in the moment. I can’t just be. I’m not wired like that.” How was she going to watch him walk away? She stared straight ahead. She didn’t have to look at him. She simply had to get through the next few moments and then she could cry.

“So I should walk away and not see you again?” He’d finally lost that reasonable tone and the question seemed wrenched from his throat.

She felt that he’d moved toward her, but she didn’t think she could look at him and stay strong. “I’m sure we’ll see each other, but we’ll know what our relationship is so it won’t hurt so much. I can move on.”

Maybe in a couple of decades she would. Until then she would lock herself away and write about him.

It struck her suddenly that she really loved him. She wasn’t going to murder him off in a book like she had the others. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d been good to her. He simply couldn’t love her. No. There would be no literary revenge waiting for him. She wanted him to be happy even if it was without her. He had so much to give.

He stepped around her and into the bedroom. Of course. His bag was in there. He would probably go and stay with Mitch for the night and then he would be gone, or maybe he would stay. Maybe he would take that vacation he needed so badly and find some other woman, one who wasn’t too emotional, too damaged, too ill-tempered. He would find her and fall in love and be happy. She would be content if he could be happy. He deserved it. He deserved someone whose family wouldn’t try to come after him. She had zero doubt that the next time her father needed something from her, he would hold the threat of ruining Will over her head again. He wouldn’t hesitate and if he got bored, he’d do it for fun.

But once Will was gone, he would be safe and he could find what he deserved. It was the best gift she could give him.

“I need to talk to you.” He seemed determined to make this harder than it had to be.

She shook her head, not turning to him because she could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I have something to say.”

Damn it. She’d thought he would be somewhat graceful. He was always polite, even in difficult situations, but it looked like he wasn’t going to handle rejection well. Now he would tell her how stupid she was for dumping him, how she’d made a mistake and she would regret it. She would have to endure. She supposed he deserved his little revenge. It would even be good because then he wouldn’t be so perfect. He would be another guy who put her down when she wasn’t good enough for him. “Fine. Say what you have to say.”

Arms came around her and suddenly she was surrounded by him, by his warmth, his scent, his strength. “Don’t give up on me. Please, Bridget. I will figure this out. I’ll find a way to give you what you need because I don’t want to live without you. Please don’t give up on me.”

A sob threatened to tear from her chest. “I can’t.”

His arms tightened. “You can. You can tell me what’s wrong. No matter how bad it is, I’ll fix it.”

She broke down. She could be strong by herself. She could force herself to stand tall, but with Will’s arms around her, with his words in her ears, she couldn’t help but break, and once the flood gates opened, she let loose. Tears—she hadn’t known she’d had so many inside her—rushed out in great sobs. She wasn’t sure when he turned her or if she’d done it, but she found herself chest to chest with him, his big arms holding her tight like he’d never let her go.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Go ahead. You cry all you like. I won’t go anywhere. You understand me? You can’t make me leave you.”

She shook her head. “You need to.”

His hand came up, cradling her neck. “No. I need to be here with you.”

“I asked you to leave.” Everyone else had left. Naturally the one man she wanted to leave wouldn’t.

“And I’m sure it won’t be the last time, and you should know that I won’t. Not unless I am one-hundred-percent sure that it’s in your best interest. I won’t leave you. Even when you try to push me away. No one fights for you, do they?”