Changing Course (Wrecked and Ruined #1)(94)

“See this is your problem. You keep waiting for her to be a normal, rational person. You’ve waited for years for something to change with her. Maybe she isn’t the person who needs to change.”

I close my eyes and let Jesse’s words sink in. She’s right. I loved Sarah once. I do care if she dies, I just wish it wasn’t always so f*cking dramatic with her.

“Can you get someone to take them back to my apartment?” I ask Eli before turning to Caleb. “I need you here. This might get…interesting.”

“I’m here,” he nods, walking back towards his truck to presumably get his gun.

“I’m not leaving,” Jesse says beside me.

“Yes, you are. I already died once tonight when I thought you were in there. Gorgeous, I don’t want you anywhere near her.”

“I’m not leaving,” she repeats. “I’ll stay back here, out of the way. I also don’t want you near her. You need to talk to her, but she already shot at you once. You aren’t the only one who died tonight. Can you talk to her from around the corner?”

I didn’t even think how she must have felt when she heard the shot fired then watched me fall back. All I could think about was the fact that she was alive. It never even registered to me why she was so frightened.

“Yeah babe, I can do that. I’ve got my vest in the car. I’ll wear it if that will make you feel better.”

“Much better,” she sighs, leaning her head into my chest. “I know I just encouraged you to do this, but now I’m kind of scared.”

“Jesse, look at me. This is getting finished tonight. The fog vanished last night. It’s nothing but you, me, and clear skies from here on out.” Then I say my famous words from all those years ago, but this time I actually believe them. “Just hang on, it’s all going to be okay.”





Brett

“SARAH.” I call from around the corner.

I managed to secure Jesse a bulletproof vest and placed her a good distance away. I didn’t want her anywhere near this. There are two officers flanking the door, if Sarah decides to come out, she won’t make it very far. The last thing I really want is for Sarah to get hurt in all of this. Somewhere inside, she is still the hell on wheels, hilarious woman I met twelve years ago. But before this can get any further I do what I should have done years ago-I start talking.

“Sarah! Please talk to me.”

“Why are you doing this to me, Brett?” she asks defeated.

“What am I doing to you? Because from where I’m standing you are doing this all to yourself. Please put the gun down. Let’s figure this out.”

“You love me, Brett. You’ve just forgotten it.”

“Do you love me?” I ask, but I don’t care about her answer. Not anymore. But she needs to say it. Admit it to herself.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel, you love me!” her scream echoes off the surrounding apartments.

“No, I loved you. Every crazy ounce of you. You have to know that. You stormed into my life and in one night you wrecked and ruined me, then seven years later you did it all over again. I loved you Sarah Erickson, and wherever she may be in the heavens tonight, I’ll always love her. However, I don’t love you.”

“It’s still me. I’m just different.”

My heart breaks at her admission. She has no idea how many times I told myself that over the last few years. Those words are the main reason I held on as long as I did.

“I can’t keep trying to fix you. I have to accept that maybe you aren’t really broken at all. This is who you are now. I just wish you would stop trying to kill this new person too.”

“I can’t stop,” she whimpers. “I don’t want to live this life anymore. You’re all I have left after the accident, and now you’re leaving me too.”

“I’m not leaving you, sweetheart. We both need to move on from the accident. I can’t take care of you anymore. I’m sorry I forced myself into your life. That wasn’t fair to you, but I couldn’t walk away. I felt like you needed me, when in reality you just needed space.”

“I don’t need space. I don’t know what I need, but I know it’s not more space,” she says in a voice so broken, any other day it would have me reaching to comfort her. Not today though. Not ever again.

“I heard her screaming for you, Brett. The minute she called your name, you were gone. How can you say you’re not leaving me? That’s exactly what you’re doing.”

“This isn’t about her. This is about me and you, Sarah.”

She switches gears again and begins to laugh, “You can’t honestly say that. You think that little girl is going to make you happy? I’ve seen y’all together. She might be a quick fix right now, but it won’t last. You might forget it, but I know you. You’ll get bored. I saw y’all at the ball. You had to drag her onto the dance floor. You love to dance.”

“No, Sarah. I loved to dance because you loved it. I actually hate to dance. And why the hell were you at the ball?” It suddenly dawns on me that Sarah has been watching us all along. The picture that mysteriously appeared on my desk was her way of letting me know it too.

“You took the picture?” I ask in disbelief.