Casanova(62)

“Your, um, cock is against me.”

“Try again.”

“This is not okay.”

“I’m still not seeing your problem.”

“You’re being an asshole again.”

“I’m aware.”

She swallowed. “Can you please let me go?”

I slid one hand up her neck and pulled her face down to mine. “Never.”





CHAPTER SEVENTEEN


LANI



That one word made me take a deep breath.

Never?

That was a double entendre if I’d ever heard one. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a decision he got to make. That was firmly in my hands, whether he realized it or not.

Damn him, he’d let me go if I wanted him to.

“Brett,” I said, “Let me go.”

His gray-blue eyes met mine with such ferocity I almost couldn’t breathe. There was nothing but want in them. Pure, hard want. I didn’t need to think about what he wanted. I just knew.

Me.

He wanted me.

“No,” he whispered, his lips barely a breath from mine.

“Brett.”

“Lani.”

“Stop it.” I pushed at his chest yet again.

His fingertips burned as they crept beneath my shirt. “What if I can’t?”

“Then I punch you in the face,” I lied.

Lied because my heart was beating like crazy. Lied because I wanted him right now too even if I couldn’t put it into words. Lied because the way his fingers ran across my skin was like goddamn magic.

I didn’t want him to know it. Today he was another class of human—he was the heart I remembered loving so much. But that didn’t take away from what he defaulted to.

He was proving it by the way he wouldn’t let me go.

“Please,” I whispered.

“Fine.” He released me and let his hands fall to his sides.

Still, I didn’t move.

I stared at them dumbly.

He’d released me.

I wasn’t moving.

Crap.

“You’re not moving,” he breathed. “Any reason why?”

I swallowed.

Would it be bad to give in just once?

Yes.

Fucking hell, yes.

I knew Brett Walker. If I fucked him, I’d be nothing to him within hours.

But I wanted to.

Shit, I wanted to!

What was wrong? Why wasn’t I moving? Why couldn’t I stop?

“Will Sali be mad if I do the GoFundMe page?” I asked quietly. It was the only thing I could say to cut off the thoughts of having sex with him.

He smiled and took my jaw in his hand. “Lani, she told you she opened the house with her divorce settlement?”

I nodded.

“Kitten,” he said. “She was one of them. He beat her so bad she was in hospital. She almost died. She escaped when she could and she bled him as dry as she could. I love Hope Building because her own hope bleeds through every brick.”

I took a deep breath and covered his hand with mine. “And she matters to you.”

“Everyone in that house matters to me,” he said quietly. “Every last one.”

I blinked and for the second time today, I kissed him.

But it wasn’t like before.

This wasn’t soft or anything close to gentle. This was hard and almost desperate. The way my lips flattened against his was firmer than any kiss I’d ever experienced.

It jarred me. There wasn’t anything particularly passionate or needy about the way I kissed him, but it slammed into me like a tornado regardless.

Maybe it was how he didn’t move, not even a muscle twitch. Maybe it was how I didn’t pull back at the realization. Maybe it was how firmly he held my ass in his large hands.

Maybe it was how his hard cock pressed against my aching pussy. Maybe it was how fucking stupidly I wanted his cock against my aching pussy.

I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. If I broke it down, I was fucked. I didn’t want to be fucked.

Well, I did. But not that way. Not emotionally.

Physically? Yes. Right now, I wanted Brett Walker to fuck me into another galaxy and not apologize for it.

Why was compassion and kindness so fucking hot? What the hell was it about his personality switch that got me?

The worst part was I knew that when he switched back right now I wouldn’t care. I’d still want him.

Brett Walker was the itch you couldn’t scratch but contorted yourself in strange positions to catch. If it took a bamboo stick and a hefty dose of self-loathing to get rid of this stupid freaking desire, I’d take it.

“I thought you wanted to get off me,” he said against my mouth.

“I did,” I replied. “But then you got sweet and...”

He paused. “And what?”

I swallowed. Shit, was I going to do it? Did I want to? Would I regret it?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

I was going to do it and I was going to regret it because I wanted to.

I slid my hands up his arms to his neck and leaned my face down into him. “All the things you wanted to do...pick one. Do it right now.”

His grip on me tightened. “You don’t know what you’re asking, Lani.”