Call Me Cat (Call Me Cat Trilogy #1)(26)

"They better make sure he wakes up. He knows who killed my parents."

"Don't worry, Miss Travis. He'll wake up. We'll get the answers out of him."

I sighed. "Thank you."

"One more thing. The killer was at the party. He saw your dress, knew Bradley had started his plan. Did you see anyone—"

"Wearing a ski-mask and dressed in black?" I laughed, and then my laugh turned to anger. "How the f*ck am I supposed to know what he looks like? How the f*ck am I supposed to keep him from hurting my friends? From threatening to… " I clutched at the sheets, my pain replaced with rage, my breath heavy.

Machines started to beep around me, and a worried nurse scuttled in the room. "You need to leave now," she told the detective.

"Sure," he said, getting up.

"Wait," I whispered, my voice tired. "Wait. You came down with the Beaumonts and Mr. Davenport. How'd you get there so quickly?"

He raised his eyebrows, as if sharing the obvious. "I was at the party."

Then I raised mine, unable to remember him.

He continued. "The Beaumonts invited me. I hoped we were becoming friends, but now I think they just wanted to pick my brain about your case."

"What did they want to know?"

"Everything." With a push from the nurse, he turned and left.

Bridgette and I were kept for a night of observation and released the next day, both of us shell-shocked and quiet as her parents drove us home. When we walked to the front door, Bridgette burst into tears. "I'm sorry I ruined your party."

Her mother hugged her and stroked her hair—a gesture so mother-like it made my heart hurt. "Darling, there's nothing to be sorry about. We should have noticed something was wrong. I'm just glad Catelyn got to you in time."

Bridgette and I spent the afternoon watching old movies and not talking about what happened. That night I started back at my 'acting' job. Break would be over soon and I'd need the money for my share of housing and spring tuition.

When my first call came in, I answered with a simple "hello," not sure how I'd get into my part. My emotions crashed within me like a storm, and I could no longer tell what I was feeling. Fear, longing, need. I missed Ash but feared being with him. He seemed dangerous but made me feel safe. None of it made sense.

So when his voice answered back, I nearly broke and told him the truth about me.

"You don't sound like yourself tonight," he said.

"Neither do you," I pointed out.

His laugh lacked his normal humor. "Touché. I think I ruined something with someone that could have been special."

My heart flipped. "A girl someone?"

"It's tacky to talk about other girls with you, isn't it? I'm not clear on the rules here." He blew into the phone.

"Cubans again?"

"Yes," he said. "My guilty pleasure."

"You can talk to me about anything you want. There are no rules. At least, not about that. I, personally, have discovered some lines I'm not willing to cross, but this isn't one of them."

"What lines would those be?" He sounded genuinely curious.

"Men have some f*cked up fantasies." I shuddered, recalling my worst phone calls. "Like, I'm not sure how some of these guys aren't in prison. I won't role-play anything having to do with sexually or physically abusing children. I won't have sex with animals, even imaginary animals. And I won't watch while you do those things."

He whistled. "Do guys really ask for that shit?"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Guys really do."

"I can assure you, I'd never ask you to do or talk about anything like that. And I thought I had a dark mind. I guess I'm not as scary as I thought I was."

I chuckled. "You're not scary at all."

"You'd be surprised."

"Who did you scare?" And then I realized. He'd scared Catelyn.

"I hurt a man pretty badly the other night."

His confession took me by surprise, and I measured my words. "On purpose?"

"He'd hurt a friend and was about to rape her. I stopped him."

"Sounds like you did the right thing." Except it had been much more than that.

His voice choked. "But I didn't stop when he was unconscious. I kept kicking and punching him. Like something else had taken over. This fury built up in me. How could he hurt a woman like this? I wanted him dead, and I almost killed him. I almost killed again. Does that make me a monster?"

He sounded so lost in that moment that I regretted sending him away so harshly.

"No, it doesn't. It makes you human. After all, you didn't kill him, right?" The * had been admitted and was still alive when I left the hospital.

"No, I didn't. But I could have. I almost did. I don't want to be that guy. I worked so hard to not be that guy anymore."

I shifted in my chair, pulling my knees up and wrapping myself in a blanket. "I think self-awareness is the first step. You recognize this part of yourself and can identify when it takes over."

"What's the next step?"

"Finding a way to pull back before it goes so far."