Caged by Damnation (Caged #2)(81)

"I guess they couldn't spare some chairs for you, huh?" Laughing, I tried to ease the tension.

"Until now, I didn't have much reason for more than a bed." Ash sighed. "I could stay standing if it would make you feel better. I mean, we used to be able to sit on the same bed together, but I guess it's too awkward now," he said, more for himself than my wellbeing. "You keep saying that you want to go back to the way things used to be, that you miss me..." He leaned forward, searching my eyes. "That will never happen if something as small as sitting on a bed fazes you."

"I do, but I thought you said it would never be the same between us. Anyway, it was just a joke." As I eased into the mattress, I crossed my legs Indian-style, feeling as though the childlike position might bar the sensation that the air had been stolen from my lungs.

Ash sat and turned towards me so that his body was parallel with each side of the bed, facing the headboard. "S..." He scrubbed at his face, as if his palms could remove his frustration or wash away the uncertainty in his moss-colored gaze. "You almost died. Hell, we all did." His hand waved, pointing at the empty space of the room, as if it were filled with our loved ones. "I wouldn't have forgiven myself if my petty words were last things I said to you."

I didn't want our relationship to end on a sour note either, and there was definitely a chance that one or both of us might die during this whole ordeal, but part of me agreed with some of the things he had said lately. "You're right about us not being able to go back to the way things were." I shrugged. "We can't erase everything that's happened." I looked away, hating that I was echoing the hurtful words he had once spoken to me.

Ash reached out, gently maneuvering my face until it was level with his. "No, but we don't have to let those things control us. For good or bad, you're worth it. A wise girl once told me that this is the way it's supposed to be when you love someone." A crooked smile, the one I adored, spread across his face. "Caring about someone isn't logical; it's selfless, because having them as a part of your life is worth anything."

I was dumbstruck. "That girl sounds pretty smart. You should listen to her more often."

Ash leaned forward and tapped me on my nose, his breath warm against my lips. "She has her days."

I was transfixed by his speech and a strange sensation built in my stomach, urging me to close what little distance there was between us. "Ash..."

"Mind if I hide out in here?" The moment was broken by Isis's head pushing through the doorway. Her coffee-toned skin crinkled as she became aware of mine and Ash's expressions. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just need – you know what? Never mind. I'll find somewhere else."

Isis began to shut the door, but guilt swam over me at her pitiful expression, and I called her name. She stumbled back into the room, effectively barricading us from the rest of the world. "Who are you hiding from?"

"Can't a girl seek sanctuary without explaining herself?" When I continued to look at Isis with expectation, she rolled her eyes. "Okay. I know you two are in your own little galaxy here, but there is some tension building between our jail guards." She paused, shooting the door a look, as if it were going to come to life and scold her for gossiping. "I don't think that the Hellhounds and Draconians want to play truce anymore and I'd rather not be caught in the crossfire." Shrugging, as if her deduction was nothing, she continued, "A few moments away from the drama would be like seven minutes in Heaven right now."

Ash stood, waving his hand in a grand gesture at his room, as if making way for royalty. "By all means, my space if everyone's space...apparently." Ash ended in a dour note, leaning back into the wall, and I wondered if he meant me, as well.

While I understood Isis's need for refuge, the added audience made me more nervous to do what I came here for; to open the letter from my mother. It intimidated me, as it lay where Ash had left it on his comforter beside me.

"S, just open it already."

I looked up at Ash, slightly hurt at his hurried tone. I thought he would be more sensitive, considering...

Isis snatched the envelope before I could decide if I really wanted to open it with her present. "What letter?" Tearing it from her grasp, the aged paper tore slightly and I swore in irritation.

"It's private, it's from my mom."

Isis sneered. "Your mom? If I were you, I'd burn it. Wasn't she basically a murderer?" Her pert nose wrinkled in disgust and she crossed her arms in condemnation.

Ash pushed away from the wall and caught my gaze, pushing me to be courageous. "Not that one." His gaze didn't break as he gained ground, allowing his proximity to be the supportive shoulder I needed, even if I couldn't truly lay my head against it.

I displayed my Seraphinite ring by practically rubbing it in Isis's face. I didn't want there to be any uncertainty about which mother had left me the letter. "My absentee mother, not the crazy one." I winced. "Maye found it before we sold my parents’ home."

"So, you and Ash were planning to read this letter without the rest of us? I don't think that's very fair since we've already been along on this insane train wreck so far. Besides, don't we all have enough to deal with?" Her eyebrows lifted with determination.