By Fairy Means or Foul: A Starfig Investigations Novel
Meghan Maslow
1
“Fairies just don’t know how to write decent resumes.” I crumpled up another scroll of parchment and tossed it in the garbage can next to my desk. It took a single glance at the next one before I tossed that resume, too. I would never fill the assistant’s position at this rate.
Admittedly, I hadn’t had all that many interested parties; most fairies weren’t concerned with doing an honest day’s work, or any kind of work for that matter, much less becoming the assistant to the only private detective in the Elder Realm. A half-dragon half-fairy detective at that.
Still it was disappointing. You’d think there’d be at least one viable candidate. I clubbed my hair back from my face with a leather cord, and then tossed the last of the resumes in the garbage. I’d re-advertise the position in a month or so. At this pace, I’d never expand the business.
A tinkling of bells alerted me to a visitor in the front office. I pushed back from my desk and winced, grabbing my sore ribs. I just finished a nasty little case involving a gnome, a vampire, a pixie, and an ensorcelled family heirloom that went missing. Just because pixies are tiny, don’t underestimate their ability to fuck you up. I had the aching sides to prove it.
Another case so soon after I finished the last would be good business for me. And what was the likelihood of getting another crazy case like that one so soon? Famous last words, right?
I no sooner crossed into the front office when I froze in place, my eyes widening and jaw going slack. The most gorgeous creature I ever saw stood in the entryway, a slight frown on his perfect face. I had to make a conscious effort to close my mouth and blink several times to clear my vision. Wow. Were those rainbow sparkles surrounding the guy?
“You’re a unicorn,” I blurted out. I wasn’t normally so clumsy with words, but this creature’s beauty almost hurt to look upon. Unicorns were some of the rarest and most precious creatures found in the Elder, full of goodness and glitter. I never saw one in person before. He was so much more than I envisioned.
In his human-like form, the unicorn’s long blond hair shimmered with hints of rainbow colors streaked throughout. Large amethyst eyes you could fall into, surrounded by sinfully long lashes, and a smile that made me feel like my dick was being sucked, were only a small part of the guy’s appeal. His body was lithe, but strong, and the white leather breeches didn’t leave much to the imagination. Guess it was true what they said about being hung like a unicorn.
The cloud of sparkles moved with him as he approached, the scent of desire almost overwhelming and making me dizzy in the small space. The smell wasn’t exactly pleasant. It was too . . . intense for that, making my balance falter and thinking difficult. What kind of magic was this?
A small cough snapped me out of my trance. My eyes darted where I heard the sound. I startled, my gasp loud in the room. Another person entered with the unicorn and I hadn’t even noticed! That never happened to me. And a human at that.
If I’d any doubt about their particular arrangement, I’d say the human’s almost see-through harem pants and tiny silk tank top were a dead giveaway. His white blond hair and heavily painted face—what was it with all the glitter?—clashed with a series of decorative tattoos that snaked up his well-defined arms and disappeared down his back.
“You’re right, Brandsome, he’s definitely a detective.” The young man’s voice sounded oddly challenging, as he fidgeted under my regard. Took me a moment to realize I was rudely staring. So was he. Not surprising, since most creatures wondered—rightly so—what the results of a dragon and fairy coupling produced.
Though I looked a lot like a human—I mean, if said human grew a foot taller, then added seventy pounds of muscle, some long, navy hair, and black fingernails that could turn into wicked claws in an instant—it wasn’t really all that shocking that he fidgeted. I appeared fearsome to most. His challenging tone, however . . . that was a new one.
“Behave, Quill—”
“—Quinn—”
“—Quinn. Of course, pet.” The unicorn smiled at his companion, an indulgent light in his luminous eyes. He turned his focus back to me and it was everything I could do not to fall to my knees under the beautiful creature’s spell. Brandsome. What a sweet name. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be sighing and doodling hearts in my notebook later.
“Hello.” His voice was whisper soft and made me want to promise him the world. Lashes swiped deliciously over prominent cheekbones, before he said, “I’m Brandsome Nightwind.”
“The Brandsome Nightwind,” the human added in a bored voice. “Dazzle Fashion’s Cover Model of the Year. Third year in a row. His fans call him Brand-Me-For-Life Nightwind. Cute, isn’t it? No, don’t fawn. I’m sure you’ve seen his posters around town . . . or on your bedroom wall. Believe me, he’ll be happy to sign it later . . . sir.”
“Pet, please stop. You’re embarrassing me.” Brandsome’s cheeks reddened, making him even prettier. He leaned into my space to confide, “He’s so cheeky, but he means well.” He laughed, a lilting sound as potent as a siren’s song. “Pardon me for asking, but are you the brave and strong Turig Starfinn I keep hearing about?”