Broken Course (Wrecked and Ruined #3)(65)

"So, yes, Eli f*cked up. He did a terrible, horrible thing, but if a terrible, horrible person like myself can’t forgive him, who will?"

"And I love that you feel that way, ángel. But it doesn’t change the fact that he ruined your life. He should have done the right thing to begin with. He should have been a f*cking man and not left you for dead." He brushes the hair off my shoulder, trying to offer me his magical comfort, but I’m not the one who needs it tonight.

"You’re not Eli, Leo," I whisper.

"I didn’t say I was," he quickly answers.

"No, but you were thinking it. That’s why you got so pissy earlier, isn’t it?"

"No," he responds, but even though it’s only a single word, I can tell it’s a lie.

"Let me tell you why—" I start, and Leo suddenly lifts me off his lap and shifts me to the couch next to him as he jumps to his feet.

"No! I don’t want you to tell me why. For f*ck’s sake, I feel like I’m dating a shrink. I want you to let this shit rip me to shreds because that is what I deserve. Don’t make me feel better. Tell me I’m a f*cking piece of shit!"

"Then tell me I’m a piece of shit. Because if you are, I am too!" I shout back at him.

He stares at me for a minute before beginning to pace the room and speaking Spanish so fast that I can’t even pick out a single word.

"Stop speaking in Spanish. If you’re going to talk shit about yourself, at least use words I can understand."

He stills and looks over at me blankly.

"Well, since you don’t seem to be able to adequately express yourself in English, I’m going to be forced to repeat: You. Are. Not. Eli."

"Fuck," he growls, stomping past me into the kitchen.

I flop down on the couch and begin picking at my nails, waiting for him to settle down. It’s not a quick process, so I start scrolling through my phone as I listen to him pace.

"Here," Leo says, walking back into the room, placing a beer and glass of wine down on the table in front of us.

"You know, if I drink that, I’m not leaving."

"Well, it doesn’t appear that you’re leaving anyway," he snarks but then gives me a quick kiss. He grabs his beer off the table before letting out a resigned sigh. "Four years ago, I sat next to Erica as our identities were stripped from us upon entry into the Witness Protection Program. I spent over two hours arguing with them because they tried to separate us. They should have separated us," he quickly clarifies before leaning forward and passing me the wine. "We had formed this completely unhealthy bond—her fears and my need to keep her safe. The whole team was convinced we were romantically involved, because back then, I would sleep on the floor of her hotel room every night. I want to sit here and tell you she needed me. She didn’t. I needed her."

He takes another sip of his beer and I follow suit with my wine.

"She freaked out, screaming and crying, when they told her they couldn’t allow us to be together. I knew they were right. She would have been better off without me, but I was so f*cking selfish. I knew I wouldn’t be better without her. So I fought them. I argued them in circles and finally told them we wouldn’t testify if they tried to split us. I didn’t know what the f*ck I was going to do. Half of the drug dealers in the country wanted my head for all the incriminating evidence I had against them. But I grabbed her hand and marched out of the office. We got all the way to the street before they thankfully stopped us. We both would have been dead by the end of the night if they hadn’t. I was just so desperate back then…" he trails off, covering his face with his free hand.

I try to scratch his back, but he shrinks away from my touch. "Leo, that sounds like you were in a really bad situation, but I don’t necessarily think anything you did was wrong. You wanted to protect Erica after everything that happened to her. Can’t you see that it was a somewhat noble thing to do?"

"I had lunch with Caleb today," he announces, suddenly changing the topic.

"I thought you had a business meeting at lunch?"

"I did. It was with Caleb," he answers frankly.

"Um, okay."

"I wanted to ask him about Eli. He applied for one of my open positions. I recognized his name from hearing you talk about him and Casey. I never really got the full picture there though. I knew it was Casey who was driving the car that night, but I didn’t really understand Eli’s role in the accident until today."

"Wait. Why the hell didn’t you just ask me?"

"Because I know you, Sarah. You can forgive everyone in the world except for yourself. I wanted the truth, not your rose-colored version of it."

"That’s not fair. The truth is the truth no matter which way you spin it. He’s not a bad guy because he was trying to protect Casey."

"He left two woman for dead on the side of the road—one of them being my woman."

I let out an exasperated sigh, knowing that this conversation is going nowhere. When he puts it like that, I can’t honestly blame Leo for being pissed.

"Okay, fine. So you don’t like him. Don’t hire him. There are other jobs he can get."

"Sarah, you don’t get it. Yes, Caleb told me all about the chairs and how he really stepped up for Brett. The reason people hate him is not necessarily because of what he did. It’s how he handled it afterward. He befriended the people he’d wronged. Can you just for a second take a step back and look at this whole situation objectively?"