Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #5)(60)

I pushed the thoughts away. And then when I least expected it, Growl put his hand against my back. A light touch but enough. Another step in the right direction. The sound of his unchanging breathing in the background and the feel of his palm lightly touching my back, I slowly drifted away.





Chapter Twenty-Three


Cara

That night I was woken twice by nightmares. Not my own though. Growl was writhing and panting in his sleep. I hadn’t dared waking him. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t like it that I knew of his troubles.

It was strange seeing him distressed, his face twisted with agony. I’d never considered that something could bother him so much. Perhaps he was even more human than I thought.

He wasn’t in bed when I woke but I found him in the kitchen leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee as usual. Even now that we had a kitchen table in the penthouse, he still preferred to stand.

Coco and Bandit were sitting by his side, staring up at him with adoring eyes.

“Morning,” I said.

Growl filled a cup and handed it to me. I smiled and briefly touched his forearm in thanks. He didn’t move away and his gaze gave me pause. I drank my coffee and gave him the time he needed to say what he wanted.

“I have a request,” Growl said quietly.

“Okay.” What could I possibly do for him?

He peered down at Coco and Bandit. “Will you take care of my dogs in case anything happens to me?”

I frowned. “Nothing will happen to you. We’ll all go to New York together.”

“You should be looking forward to the prospect of my death,” he rasped. “I’m sure you’ve wished for it often.

I should hope for it, and in the beginning I had. I had even tried to kill him myself after all. Soon we’d risk our lives. Perhaps this was the last time we’d be together. It was strange to think about it. Even stranger that I was sad about it. I scanned his face. I was no longer scared of him, and I did no longer wish for him to die.

I reached out very slowly and traced the scar around his neck. Growl stilled but he didn’t stop me. Surprise washed over me. It felt like a miracle that he let me do it. And deep down I was suddenly afraid. Afraid of my emotions and what the future held for me.

“You won’t die. You’re the strongest person I know,” I whispered. I stepped very close to him and locked eyes with his.

“I’m not.” His amber eyes sucked me in. So many horrors lay beyond them, and yet I didn’t hate him, not anymore.

How could I have let this happen?

“What’s happening to us?” I asked quietly.

Growl frowned.

“What am I to you?”

“You are mine,” he said simply. His.

His possession? His gift? Only that, or more?

It didn’t matter. Once I was in New York, there was no future for us. I wouldn’t stay with Growl. I couldn’t, couldn’t do this to Mother and my sister. They wouldn’t understand, and how could they, if I didn’t know how it happened.



GROWL

“I will take care of your dogs if that’s what you want,” Cara said.

Growl wanted many things, things he’d never wanted before. Most of all he wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to lose her. And that for the first time in his life he was scared to die because he wanted to have more time with her, and at the same he was scared not to die and see her leave him the moment they were in New York.

“Coco and Bandit love you,” he told her.

She searched his eyes, but he wasn’t sure what she was looking for. Even now he hardly understand the workings of her brain. She was a mystery to him, would probably always be, but it didn’t matter. Somehow, she’d done what no one else had ever done. She’d bound him to her and he would always be loyal to her.

He’d been loyal to Falcone too. And he would have died for him, because Growl had never before cared if he lived or died. But now, now he wanted to live, and yet he’d gladly give his life for Cara, so she could be happy.

“And I love them,” Cara said softly.

The word ‘love’ from Cara’s lips did something to Growl he could not understand.



Cara

The next morning Growl woke me before sunrise. He had been gone all night and I’d been sick with worry because he hadn’t warned me that he’d be gone so long.

“We have to act today,” Growl said.

I rubbed my eyes. “What…” she stopped herself, realizing what he meant. She sat up. “Why? Did something happen?”

“Falcone is tired of negotiating with New York. I doubt he’ll have use for your mother much longer.”

I pushed out of bed. “Are we ready?”

We couldn’t fail.

“Ready enough,” Growl rumpled. “We have to risk it. We can’t wait. I found someone who will help us. I can’t take care of everything on my own.”

“Can we trust him?”

Growl shook his head. “I don’t trust anyone. But he’s on Falcone’s hit list, and I offered him a chance to escape. It also helps that Falcone killed his brothers and he’s out for revenge like we are. I was supposed to kill him.”

“Okay,” I said uncertainly.

“And I know him from when we were kids. His mother was one of Bud’s whores. He and I occasionally spent time together in the brothel.”