Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #5)(58)

“I know, but even a few weeks or just days are good. I love seeing the horizon,” I said. I peered up at him. There was a soft edge to his expression, and I couldn’t help it. I’d never wanted him more than in that moment. I wasn’t sure if this was still part of the plan, if my actions toward Growl were still only intended to get him on my side, to reach my goal of revenge and safety for my family. I stood on my tiptoes, grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down to me for a deep kiss. He immediately responded. I pressed up against him and he grabbed my butt with one hand, squeezing. I started pulling at his clothes, and soon we were both naked, our hands roaming every inch of uncovered skin. My body was aflame with need. Growl lifted me up and pressed my back against the window. I let out a surprised laugh. “Here?” I asked. He nudged my entrance with his length.

“It’s a nice view,” Growl said dryly.

I kissed him hard, and he pushed into me at the same time, making me gasp into his mouth. My back rubbed over the window as Growl pounded into me. And then we both came at the same time. Growl sank to his knees with me still wrapped around him. We both panted. Her eyes sought out the strip and the neighboring skyscrapers. “Is this reflecting coating?”

Growl shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

I leaned against the glass. “So someone could have watched us?”

“Do you care?”

“No,” I said. And it was true. A few weeks ago, this would have been impossible, but so much had happened since then that the idea of someone seeing me having sex wasn’t something that could ruin my day. Far from it.





CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO


Cara

“Why are you always leaving after we sleep with each other?” I tried to sound merely curious but a hint of vulnerability slipped through.

“I can’t sleep with someone else in bed,” he said. “I never even thought I could share a house…” He glanced around our new surroundings. “…or apartment with anyone.”

“Why?” I doubted he was worried that I’d kill him.

“I just can’t. I prefer being alone, preferred being alone.”

“Not anymore?” I asked hopefully.

“I don’t sleep very well. And if someone would be in bed with me, it would be worse,” Growl said instead of answering my question.

“Maybe you just need to get used to it. Maybe it takes time. You’ve been alone for a long time.”

“Forever,” he murmured. “I’ve been alone forever. Even when my mother was still alive, she worked a lot, especially at night,” was his simple reply. “And after she was killed and I loved with Bud, I was glad to be alone. Being alone meant no pain. That was good.”

My heart clenched for him. So much horror in his past. I didn’t know if I, if anything could ever compete with that, ever win against the shadows of his past.

“Humans aren’t meant to be alone. We need someone. It’s in our nature. We need to be touched. We need to talk to someone. To have someone to trust. Otherwise we become…”

“Like me,” Growl rasped. “I’m better off alone. I’m meant to be alone.”

I stared at his tattoos, the ridges of his scars, his hard eyes. “Perhaps you’re right.”

Even if I didn’t want to accept it, Growl might be one of the people who couldn’t be with others for long.

I didn’t try to stop him this time when he pushed up. My eyes followed the line of muscles from his broad shoulders down to his firm butt. My cheeks didn’t heat anymore, but the fire the pit of my stomach ignited once more at the sight. I’d never felt anything like it before. I’d had crushes, had felt butterflies, but this was something else, something stronger and darker. I desired him, perhaps even…loved him. I couldn’t be sure. Not now, not when my life was in upheaval and choices weren’t my own. Could love be born out of captivity? Wasn’t it something that could only thrive in freedom?

Growl didn’t turn again as he strode toward the door and left. The fire in my belly died as if someone had killed it with water. I pulled the blankets up to my chin. I’d never known that loneliness came with a sensation like icy dew covering my skin. Cold. I felt cold. I felt still tender between my legs from Growl, but the rest of me was nothing. This ache between my legs was all that reminded me of Growl. Soon, if…when our plan was successful and we were all safe, what would happen to me? To Growl and me? He struggled with emotions. Most of the time I wasn’t even sure if he could even understand them. Perhaps for him they were what letters were to people with dyslexia. But couldn’t those people learn to live with their limitation, and learn to read and write despite it. So why couldn’t Growl learn emotions. He had already come a long way from when we first met. Perhaps emotions were foreign to him, like passion had been to me, but it didn’t always have to be like that. Growl had taught me passion, had given me no choice but to surrender myself to it. Was I foolish to hope I could teach him emotions as he’d taught me desire and passion?

Perhaps you have already, a meek voice whispered in my head. Perhaps. And perhaps it wasn’t enough.

My eyes were drawn to the skyline of Las Vegas. He’d moved to this place for me. For whatever reason he’d turned his life upside down for me. The next few weeks would tell. If our plan to get revenge went wrong, nothing mattered anymore. Least of all my emotions. Soon everything would be decided.