Boarlander Beast Boar (Boarlander Bears #4)(38)

“I’m not asking you to provide for us, Mason.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I have the means to provide for you now, too, but when I met you, that wasn’t the first thing I thought about. I’m different now. The first thing I thought was, ‘oh shit, how can I make her happy while I’m dragging this baggage?’ And the answer is I don’t know if I can. I couldn’t make Esmerelda happy, and now look what’s happened. She wasted her last years on me, and now she’s wasting her afterlife on me, too.”

Beck turned in his arms. Her night vision was impeccable so she could see every worried line of his face, every indentation of muscle across his shoulders, every ounce of sorrow in his dark gaze. “I don’t think she would see it as a waste.”

Mason traced the outside of her ear with a light touch. “Jason said he thinks she’s here to tell me to pay attention to you and Ryder. He thinks she’s here to tell me to move on from her death.”

Beck searched his eyes, but he wasn’t meeting her gaze anymore. “And what do you think?”

“I was fine with that explanation until I saw her standing in that road tonight. I’m letting you in. I’m falling in love with you. I’m nervous, but excited to meet Ryder.” Mason lifted his soft brown eyes to hers, held her steady there. “So why is Esmerelda getting stronger?”

Beck shook her head helplessly. “I don’t know.” That had scared her badly. She’d already been freaked out by Esmerelda talking to her in the restaurant, but seeing her and feeling her cold, dead breath against her neck in Mason’s truck had stolen the safety Beck felt here. Sure, she’d known ghosts existed, but physically seeing a ghost, feeling Esmerelda’s presence, and watching the effect it had on her mate was completely different. Her owl hadn’t settled down since they’d almost wrecked. Scratch, scratch, scratch, her inner bird of prey clawed at her skin, asking to be released just so she could fly off some of this emotion.

“Will you Change with me?” she whispered, too chicken to look him directly in the face and watch the rejection there.

Mason hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face, pressed his lips to hers. His mouth moved against hers like water, soft and gentle. And when his tongue brushed hers, she opened for him, allowing him to taste her, allowing him in. Although she wouldn’t admit it out loud, Mason had all of her. Everything she had to offer, he could have if he would just keep her. Because this feeling—this chest fluttering, stomach-dipping, happy sensation—hadn’t existed before he’d breathed life into her.

He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to make her happy because he felt broken. But he didn’t see it. She was broken, too, shattered into the perfect shape to match his tattered edges. He could keep his claiming mark and take it slow if that’s what he needed. She understood now, and she would wait for him. She would find her patience if it meant she could live more moments like this when a big, dominant, scarred-up beast of a man held her heart so gently in his hand and promised wordlessly to protect it for always.

She loved him. Loved him. Just being capable of this intense emotion after Robbie had stripped her soul bare was a testament to how inherently good Mason was. She wouldn’t have given herself to anyone less. Not after all she’d been through.

So she would wait. And she would love him. And she wouldn’t guilt him for being careful because he’d nurtured deep love once, and even if he didn’t realize it yet, Mason knew how to build it again. With her.

He was worth waiting for. Worth the effort. Worthy of her “all in.”

With a content sigh, she slipped out of his kiss with a soft smack and rolled over, gave him her back. Her revved-up instincts told her Mason really was a beast boar. Robbie used to take her from behind and hurt her, and she’d sworn never to let a man do that to her again. But then Mason had come along, and he wasn’t just some human male trying to dominate her. Trying to stifle her shifter by putting her beneath him. Sex with Mason was different. It was more animalistic, and this was the test. If he didn’t trigger her to panic, then she really was getting better.

Mason’s reaction was instant. His arms slid around her, pulled her back tight against his raging hard erection. He rolled his hips gracefully with her seductive movement. And when she reached behind her and gripped the back of his neck, she could feel his teeth on her shoulder, as if he couldn’t help but tempt himself to bite.

She thought he would take her hard and fast since that’s what rutting men did, but instead, Mason slid his hand down her quivering belly and cupped her sex. And when he brushed his finger down her wet folds, she gasped and spread her knees wider for him. For a while, he toyed gently with her clit, bringing her closer to climax with every touch, and when she was bowing against him, pleading, he finally slipped his finger inside of her.

Against her back, Mason rolled his long, thick erection. She wanted that. Wanted him in her, wanted them connected, because when they were in each other’s arms, the rest of the world slipped away. Beck reached between her legs and drew his dick between her thighs, against his hand as he fingered her.

Mason grunted and pushed a second finger inside of her, and she was gone. Her orgasm pulsed through her, and he worked each aftershock out of her until she was sensitive and twitching under his touch. And then he kissed her neck as she recovered. Sensual, commanding lips, a hint of tongue, and nipping teeth had her begging silently again. She arched back, tempting him as his dick slid through her wet heat.